


Where the Heart Is

by LyricalPary



Series: Nanny AU [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Nanny, Domestic Fluff, Family Issues, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Nanny Luke, Single Parent Ashton, so this is the one where Ashton falls in love with the new nanny, who may or may not be the most perfect addition to his broken family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:47:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 86,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5686318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalPary/pseuds/LyricalPary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>By the time that Ashton Irwin is twenty-seven years old, he's already a widower and a father of three. After his third nanny quits on him, he comes to the conclusion that life in general doesn't seem to like him very much—that is, until his luck turns around when he discovers a particular nanny by the name of Luke H.</p><p>The question now is, can a twenty-two year old man with mile-long legs and a smile made of gold really be the super nanny that Ashton needs?</p><p>Perhaps so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nanny for Hire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [okayrichie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayrichie/gifts).



> Hello all! This is something that I've been working on since the beginning of December, and I'm proud to say that I actually went through with it instead of giving up (unlike with my previous two projects... TBC!). So now that it's finally here, I hope that you enjoy it! I think that you definitely will. :~) 
> 
> Also, I dedicate this to my precious Naomi, who happens to be the birthday girl today so HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUFFIN!! I really, really wouldn't have been able to do this without your help! I've implemented so many of your ideas into this (as you already know) and it is your encouragement and motivation that helped me whenever I got stuck and frustrated, so I thank you for everything and I hope that your birthday is the most kick ass birthday you've ever had ❤❤❤
> 
> A few more notes before I shut up: 
> 
> 1\. Australia confuses me, ok, I'm sorry. That's why the setting is in Los Angeles, California, because I'm more familiar with it  
> 2\. The fic is mostly PG but the last chapter contains explicit sex things, so I just rated it Explicit for that reason  
> 3\. I'm not the best as describing shit so [this is *kinda* how I visualize Ashton's home,](http://www.zillow.com/homedetails/7-Sylvan-Glen-Ct-Burr-Ridge-IL-60527/69069215_zpid/) if you're interested  
> 4\. I'll be publishing the next two chapters within a couple of days, as I am nearly done with the final chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> **I do not give anyone permission to upload this work anywhere else.**  
> 

* * *

 

* * *

Ashton doesn’t need to knock when he reaches the doorway to the downstairs guestroom. The door is already wide open, and inside he sees exactly what he’s been fearing all morning. She’s actually going through with it, and though he knows that he won’t be able to change her stubborn mind, he’ll just have to try.

And, _god_ , does he try.

“Mrs. S,” he says as he enters the room in quick strides, and even his tone sounds as desperate as he feels. “I ask that you _please_ reconsider what you’re doing.”

The older woman actually snorts as if he couldn’t have said anything more ridiculous than that, and if anything, she speeds up the process of shoving her belongings into her suitcase. The fact that she hasn’t even taken the time to fold her clothing, which is something that she _never_ fails to do, is hint enough that she’s desperate to escape their household. Ashton doesn’t know if he should be offended or worried.

“You ask me to reconsider my decision,” she starts, and again, she snorts. “With all due respect, Mr. Irwin, I’ve been considering these things for my entire life. Always considering, but never taking action! Well, that’s about to change. I’m still breathing, still able to walk upright, so why not get out there and see the world I’ve been living in for over fifty years?”

“It’s… It’s Ashton,” is all that Ashton can manage despite all that she’s said, as he watches her stuff the scarf he had bought her for Christmas into the suitcase as well.

Ashton doesn’t like being referred to as Mr. Irwin by his children’s nanny, he finds it far too formal and that’s not the type of relationship that he had wanted to establish. However, Mrs. S claims that it’s a sign of respect, and therefore no matter how many times he’s told her not to call him that, she chooses to do so anyway.

Once the suitcase has been stuffed to the brim with everything that she owns, Mrs. S clasps it shut and turns to him with a sympathetic grin. It’s nice to know that at least she feels some ounce of sympathy, even if her hasty actions show otherwise. In a much gentler tone that she often uses when telling bedtime stories to his children, she says:

“The way I see it, sometimes life sends us certain… signs. My own children are adults now and my husband is dead, god rest his soul. This means that I am free to be myself, I’m free to do whatever I please, and what pleases me is a one-way trip to Vegas!”

Her face splits into the widest grin that Ashton’s ever seen, and then she’s holding out her hand expectantly.

“My final check, please.”

Ashton stares down at her empty hand for a moment, a hand much smaller than his own and wrinkled with age. His own hand squeezes the envelope between it, reluctant to hand it over. But how childish would it be to refuse? In fact, it’s probably illegal to refuse an employee’s resignation unless they’ve signed some sort of contract stating otherwise, and despite seeing Mrs. S as family, Ashton is her employer first and foremost. So with an exasperated sigh, he hands over the check.

“Thank you very much!” she says, practically snatching the envelope from him. She’s still smiling as she lifts her suitcase from the perfectly made bed and walks right past him without another glance.

Normally, Ashton would be a gentleman and offer to carry things for her, but seeing as she’s _Mrs. Independent_ now, he simply follows her out of the room and down the hallway, still hoping to change her mind even though he knows that it’s far too late for that.

“Sandra, please—”

“It’s Mrs. S, to you!”

“ _Fine_.” Ashton rolls his eyes as he struggles to keep up with her. For a small woman in her mid-fifties, she sure does move rather quickly. “Mrs. S, but what about _my_ children? Not only do they adore you, they still need you in their lives! We all need you and you’re _wanted_ here. You can’t expect me to believe that you don’t feel an ounce of compassion for this family.”

Suddenly, Mrs. S stops walking and spins on her heels to face Ashton once more. He nearly crashes into her because of this, but manages to halt just in time. Currently, her expression is the stern one that she wears whenever one of the twins refuses to get ready for bath time. Ashton almost feels like a child himself, underneath her sharp gaze.

“And _you_ can’t expect to guilt trip me into staying, Mr. Irwin. Shame on you for even attempting to do so.”

For the second time, the older woman spins on her heels and continues walking. Of course Ashton proceeds to follow her again, this time to apologize for his rudeness.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to guilt you into staying. It’s just. I mean—” He lets out a frustrated groan as he struggles to convey what he means. Time is running out and so is his patience, but lashing out is certainly not going to make things better. Instead, he tries reasoning with her. “Look, today is just really, _really_ bad timing. Why not stay for one more night? Just one? It’ll give you the chance to mull over this entire situation, and who knows! You may even change your mind after all.”

Whether she agrees with that idea or not, Mrs. S doesn’t reply with her own opinion. She continues walking until she reaches the kitchen area, where the children are still eating the breakfast that she had prepared for them earlier. Their innocence shields them from what’s currently taking place, which is why they don’t suspect a thing as Mrs. S walks over and kisses each of them on top of the head. They continue sipping juice and chewing on toast, and Ashton already dreads breaking the news to them.

“I expect you to be good little angels for your father, understood?” She gives them a reward-winning smile and uses a thumb to brush the bread crumbs from the side of Annie’s mouth.

“Yes, Mrs. S,” the twins say in unison, just like she had taught them back when Ashton hired her nearly half a year ago.

Being an infant and all, Billie merely stares at her before refocusing on the task at hand—eating the pieces of Cheerios in front of him.

After bidding farewell to the children and successfully avoiding Ashton’s pitiful stare, Mrs. S exits the kitchen and makes her way to the front door, where she grabs her little black umbrella. It isn’t raining outside at the moment, but since the umbrella belongs to her, of course she’ll take that, too.

Never one to give up so easily, Ashton catches her one more time before she leaves.

“Mrs. S, I am literally _begging_ you right now. My kids, they need a nanny and you’re the best one we’ve had in the past year! You and I both know how difficult it can be to find a new one, especially one that’s absolutely perfect.” Ashton pauses mid-speech and waits for her to actually look at him. When she does, he tries his hardest to appear as genuine as he feels inside. “ _You_ were perfect for this family. You still are, and we really do need you…”

Unexpectedly, but certainly not unwanted, Mrs. S sighs. For a brief moment, watching her stand there with her hand hovering over the door handle, it almost looks as if she’s actually changing her mind. It almost looks as if she really will stay with them. Just almost, and it’s enough to get Ashton’s hopes up again.

Unfortunately, luck really isn’t on his side today.

“I believe that’s where your problem lies, Mr. Irwin.” She pushes down on the handle and opens the door. Just before exiting the house and their lives for good, she glances over her shoulder and says, “Your children don’t need another nanny. They need a mother.”

The door shuts behind her before Ashton even gets the chance to reply. He tries really hard to restrain himself from cursing out loud, since the children would be able to hear it and Ashton has established a strict “no swearing” rule in his household. Thus, instead of breaking that rule, he covers his face with both hands and take several deep breaths to calm himself.

_Don’t let her stress you out, Ashton. You can handle this, you’ve done it before. Just move on to the next phase._

It takes all of thirty seconds before those positive thoughts actually begin to make him better. Only slightly, but still enough to spark action. Ashton moves towards the front door and twists the lock in place, deciding to let go of Mrs. S in the same way that she has decided to let go of them. More like _abandoned_ them, but whatever. Now that that’s been taken care of, it’s time to make a phone call.

As he passes the kitchen once more, one of the twins calls out to him.

“Daddy,” says Annie, watching Ashton with those big, hazel eyes that she inherited from him. “Where’s Mrs. S gone? Why did she leave?”

Knowing that he’ll have to tell them sooner or later but not having the energy nor the time to do it now, Ashton bites his bottom lip as he comes up with a white lie.

“She’s… going on a trip. Yeah, a really long trip.” To stop her from worrying and asking more questions, he smiles. It works easily enough, since she stops staring at him and resorts to sipping the last of her orange juice. Next to her, Ashton catches the other twin trying to hide her toast beneath a napkin. “I see that, Lillie. Finish your toast, please.”

The little girl begins to whine and slouch in the chair, but Ashton doesn’t have any time to chastise her. He leaves the kitchen and grabs the telephone on his way to the living room, where he knows that the children will be unable to hear his conversation. His fingers are shaking as he inputs the first number that comes to mind, and he begins pacing the room while he waits for an answer. When they finally do pick up, Ashton doesn’t wait for their greeting before announcing his own problem.

“My nanny quit this morning and now I need to find a new one as soon as possible.”

The sound of ruffling comes from the other end, and then Michael is sighing into the phone. It’s his usual reaction when they’re about to have a conversation that he’d rather not participate in, but he participates anyway because Ashton is his friend, and friendship has always been extremely important to Michael.

“Wait a minute, Mrs. S _quit_? Are you serious?” He pauses for a brief moment, then adds in a rather suspicious tone, “Okay, what’d you do this time?”

Joking or not, Ashton doesn’t appreciate the teasing. Not right now, when he’s on the road to possibly having another breakdown. And since there’s somewhere that he needs to be really soon, a breakdown is the last thing that he needs. Therefore, he rolls his eyes and makes it clear that there’s no time for jokes.

“First of all, I didn’t do anything! She…” Ashton pauses to sigh at the ridiculousness of it all. “She won the lottery, which I find appalling because I had no idea that she even _gambled_. Somehow she won and now she’s headed to Las Vegas to gamble it all away, something about living her dreams before she dies. I don’t fu—freakin’ know.”

This time Michael’s reaction comes instantly. He bursts out laughing and the sudden loud noise isn’t at all kind to Ashton’s ear drum, so he holds the phone away from his head until he’s sure that Michael is finished. Can’t blame him, though. If it were someone else in jeopardy, Ashton would have laughed as well.

“Sorry, sorry! I’m not laughing at you, I swear,” Michael tells him, despite still giggling a bit. “But… holy shit, she won the lottery? How—how much?”

“I don’t know, just a few thousand? Regardless of the amount, it was more than enough to get her to completely abandon us…”

Ashton stops pacing and leans against the mantel over the fireplace. It’s decorated with a few picture frames of himself and his children, and the one closest to him features Mrs. S standing in front of the Christmas tree with the children at her side. If Ashton didn’t have certain morals, he wouldn’t hesitate in tossing the picture into the fireplace; but since he _does_ have certain morals, he simply shakes his head and looks away from the picture.

“I just don’t get it,” he goes on. “I was so sure that she was the perfect nanny for this family, and I thought that she valued us as much as we valued her. Apparently I was only fooling myself into believing that she’d stay for the long run. I mean, everyone leaves eventually. Heck, she was the third nanny I’ve hired in the past year alone! I honestly don’t know what to think about that.”

Several seconds pass by where Michael doesn’t respond to any of that, and at first Ashton just assumes that he’s thinking of what to say. However, a few more seconds pass and Ashton is positive that he hears someone whispering in the background, though it isn’t audible enough to be distinguishable.

“Michael? You still there?”

In response, Michael hums into the phone, though it sounds less like he’s thinking of an answer and more like, well, something else entirely.

“Y-Yeah, sorry, I’m here. Uh… so you’re gonna get another nanny to replace her, then?”

“Well, it’s not as if I have a choice,” Ashton says with a sigh. “I’ll have to search for one soon, but right now, I just need a babysitter. I have to leave in about an hour to take care of some business, and now that there’s no one to watch the kids for me, I’m basically screwed. So, I was wondering if you knew anyone…”

Ashton trails off when he gets distracted by the odd sound of Michael’s heavy breathing in his ear. Just as he’s about to inquire about his friend’s strange behavior, his ear picks up another voice in the background, a very familiar voice that he would be able to recognize anywhere.

“You like that?”

There’s no mistaking that it’s Calum who speaks, but it’s further confirmed when Michael hums once more and that’s all that it takes for Ashton to figure out what they’re doing. Now he can’t decide if he’s disgusted, disappointed, or equal parts both.

“For Christ’s sake,” Ashton groans, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Are the two of you actually fornicating while I’m talking to you on the phone?!”

Michael has the nerve to laugh at his distress, and it doesn’t come as a surprise. Countless times Ashton has walked in on his friends while they were in compromising positions, so the fact that this time he doesn’t have to witness it with his two eyes should make him feel grateful. However, _hearing_ the nasty things that they’re doing isn’t exactly great, either.

“Hey, you’re the one who called and interrupted our morning blowjob session! You should know by now that it’s routine.”

“Morning, Ashton!” says Calum in the background, and Ashton chooses to believe that his muffled voice is caused by him not being close enough to the phone, and _not_ because his mouth is probably full of Michael’s dick at the moment.

Ashton rolls his eyes again. “You guys are quite honestly the crudest people that I’ve ever met. You could’ve just told me that you were… _busy_.”

“Relax,” Michael tells him, laughing softly. “I answered the phone because I figured that it would be an emergency, and guess what? I was right, as always. Anyway, you can’t blame us for being in the honeymoon phase.”

“Michael, you’ve been married for two and a half years.”

“I know. Isn’t it wonderful?”

Annoyed but knowing that he still needs their help, Ashton merely sighs and decides to ignore any and all background noise, just in case his friends are still going at it like a couple of wild animals. Even so, he can’t deny that he isn’t _slightly_ jealous that Michael has Calum and Calum has Michael. They’ve been a couple since they were teenagers and they were best friends for a handful of years before that, so it’s only right that they get their happy ending. Ashton lost all hope of achieving his own happy ending when he lost his wife a year ago.

With another sigh, he changes the subject.

“Listen, I’ll let you get back to your precious blowjobs after you’ve helped me. Do you know anyone who can watch the kids for me today? I know that you and Cal have that huge family thing to get to later.”

“Unfortunately,” Michael mutters. “But, uh… what about Ashley? Have you asked her yet?”

Ashton gasps. “I haven’t! But I’ll give her a call right now, thanks for the suggestion.”

He ends the phone call right after Michael tells him good luck, but as soon as he has dialed Ashley’s number, the sound of a baby’s cry grabs his attention. There’s only one baby in the house so he knows that it’s Billie, and Ashton’s feet automatically carry him back into the kitchen so that he can deal with his wailing son.

To no one’s surprise, the twins are no longer sitting obediently at the kitchen table. They’ve most likely retreated down the hall to the playroom, and being left all alone and stuck in his highchair, baby Billie began to cry. That’s the thing about Billie—he dreads being alone, even for a slither of a second, and without a nanny to keep him busy, this makes Ashton’s job that much more difficult.

“Alright, alright. Daddy’s here,” he murmurs sweetly to the crying infant. He holds the phone between his ear and shoulder as he retrieves Billie from the highchair, and as usual, the baby ceases crying as soon as he’s being held by his daddy. It’s one of the cutest things about him, if Ashton’s being honest, so he kisses one of Billie’s chubby pink cheeks and holds the baby close to his chest.

At last, there’s an answer.

“Hello?”

“Ash, it’s an emergency.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound good. Is everything okay?” she asks, sounding especially concerned.

Ashton checks his wristwatch and senses the panic that builds up even more, because the clock is ticking and the children are still in their pajamas. Even if Ashley agrees to help, it’ll take a bit of a miracle to get them ready on time.

“No, everything is definitely _not_ okay right now,” he admits. “Mrs. S quit this morning and I have no one else to watch the kids for me today. I’ll tell you the details later, but I was wondering if you’re not busy, would you be alright with watching Billie and the girls for me? Just for a few hours, at most.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course! Bring them over whenever you’re ready, I just finished doing a bit of cleaning and Kiara is watching some Disney movie in the other room. I’m sure she’d love to play with Lillie and Annie, and I can find some way to keep Billie entertained.”

In all honesty, Ashton never would have imagined that it’d be this easy. The baby in his arms is the only thing that keeps him from jumping up and down with joy and relief, but he does grin from ear to ear.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he exclaims. “I can’t even begin to say how grateful I am for your existence. I’ll be over sooner than you know it, and they’ve already eaten breakfast so you won’t have to worry about any of that.”

After getting off the phone with his daughters’ ballet instructor, Ashton feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders. Well, sort of, because there’s still a weight against his chest and Billie is trying to chew on his necklace, but at least now he doesn’t feel so helpless. Shifting the baby so that he’s propped up by Ashton’s hip, Ashton leaves the kitchen and makes his way to the staircase.

“Let’s go, Billie,” he murmurs, smiling down at the adorable infant at his side. “It’s time to get you ready for a fun playdate!”

As always, Billie responds with a bunch of gibberish, but it’s enough to make Ashton giggle for the first time that morning.

***

Ashley’s apartment is only about fifteen minutes away, and combined with the twenty minutes that it takes Ashton to get his children out of the house and into the car, he has less than half an hour to make it to work. It’s not an impossible feat, though. With his skilled driving and slight disobeying of the speed limit, he arrives at her apartment complex within approximately twelve minutes. Call it a talent, call it luck, but Ashton is never late for anything. Ever. And he certainly won’t start now.

Once standing in front of her door, Ashton knocks twice. Thankfully, she answers in ten seconds flat, and the twins eagerly greet her with hugs. Afterwards, she points them in the direction of the family room where her own daughter, Kiara, is waiting for them. Ashton doesn’t mind that they don’t even say goodbye to him before running inside, since it’s clear that they’re eager to play with their best friend.

“Here’s the diaper bag,” Ashton says, removing the strap from his shoulder and placing it on hers when Ashley reaches out for it. He gives Billie one last kiss on the cheek before handing him to her as well. “And here’s the little munchkin who requires the diaper bag. I’m afraid he didn’t get much sleep last night because of night terrors, so he’ll probably be needing a nap soon.”

Ashley nods at everything that he says, and when she turns her attention to Billie, she puts on a grand smile and speaks to him using the softest tone.

“Hi, baby!” she coos, “Did the mean night terrors keep you awake? Aww, they did, didn’t they? Well don’t you worry, I’ll keep you safe from now on. Just like your daddy protects you.”

Ashton smiles just as wide when she kisses Billie’s temple and he leans into her gentle touch. From the looks of it, he might be falling asleep right here in the doorway, and Ashton is glad for that. Ashley already has three five-year-olds to watch, and a teething baby with separation anxiety would only make things harder for her. Billie really likes her, though, and that’s rare. So, Ashton knows that they won’t have any trouble today.

“Thanks again for the help,” he says with great sincerity. “I owe you one, Ash.”

“Actually, you owe me a _few_ ,” she replies, but the half-smirk on her face gives away that she’s just teasing him. “It’s fine, you know. I mean, us single parents have to stick together, don’t we?”

Ashton nods at the statement, even though he can’t help but feel a tad guilty for always needing her help and never aiding her in return. Although to be fair, she’s never asked him for anything like this. Now, whether it’s because she’s a super mom who never needs his assistance or simply because she just thinks that he has enough on his plate, remains a mystery.

“Well?” Ashley raises an eyebrow and begins to gently bounce Billie when he starts to fuss a little. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Suddenly remembering that he’s on borrowed time, Ashton checks his wristwatch and barely refrains from cursing out loud, even though a one year old couldn’t possibly repeat anything he’s said. At least not yet, anyway.

“Right, gotta go!” Ashton spins on his heels and practically dashes back towards the parking lot. Over his shoulder he calls out, “I’ll be back in just a few hours!”

Laughing to herself, Ashley waves goodbye.

“Just don’t break any traffic laws on the way there!”

Despite hearing her warning, maybe Ashton does break one or two laws just to make it to the office in time. Even so, no one else has to know.

***

As anticipated, Mrs. S doesn’t return that night. Nor does she return the next night after that. On the third night since her resignation, Ashton has no choice but to tell the truth when one of the twins asks about the nanny’s disappearance. And although Ashton always tries his best to shield his children from such harsh realities, they’re much more perceptive than he gives them credit for.

Therefore, on that third night when Ashton is tucking them into bed, he’s taken off-guard when Lillie speaks up.

“How come Mrs. S isn’t tucking us in?” she asks.

“Mrs. S _always_ tucks us in,” Annie adds, as if it’s a detail that Ashton may have forgotten.

As he thinks of an answer, Ashton glances back and forth between his daughters whose beds are adjacent to one another. He’s reminded of a few years back when they’d grown too big for their cribs and he’d wanted to buy them the cutest little bunk beds. He remembers having to throw that idea out of the window when his late wife, Charlotte, expressed worries about one of the girls somehow falling off the top bunk, despite the railing meant to protect them. She had always been the more precautious one who worried over many things, but now that she’s gone, Ashton finds himself worrying twice as much as she ever did.

Once he makes sure that Lillie is safe and secure in bed, Ashton sits on the edge of the mattress and exhales the most tired sigh.

“Well, Mrs. S isn’t exactly here to do that anymore, so I’ll be tucking you in from now on.”

“But where did she _go_?” Lillie asks only half a second later, and it pains Ashton to hear the longing in her voice.

“Where did she go?” Annie repeats.

They’ve had this strange pattern of speaking for as long as Ashton can remember. Unlike fictional twins that can be seen in movies, they don’t often say the same thing at the same time, but usually, Annie will repeat whatever Lillie says as if to add emphasis. According to the internet, it’s not uncommon for one twin to act as the leader and for the other twin to follow, but in moments such as these, it makes them twice as difficult to deal with. Ashton always tries his best to understand them, but only Mrs. S has the ability to figure them out and communicate properly.

And, well, now she’s gone for good.

“I told you that she went on a long trip, remember?” Ashton tries smiling softly in hopes that it’ll cheer them up. “But no worries, daddy will take care of you and I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” He gasps, then. “Say, wanna hear a bedtime story? I can read you that book that Mrs. S always read to you—”

“She’s not coming back, is she?”

For the second time that night, Lillie’s question takes him by surprise. It must be showing on his face, and combined with the several seconds of silence that follows afterwards, they don’t need an answer to know the truth. After all, they’re at an age where they’re beginning to be able to think for themselves and come to their own conclusions. Regardless, Ashton drops the act and decides to tell them the truth. It’s the least that he can do, especially since they’ll know when a new nanny arrives to replace Mrs. S.

“No,” he mutters sadly, shaking his head. “She’s not coming back, Lils. I’m sorry.”

Because he expects there to be waterworks, Ashton is more than relieved when neither of the girls begin to cry. He’s not sure if he would be able to console them if that were to happen, because he knows how much they _adored_ Mrs. S in comparison to the previous two nannies.

Technically speaking, the first nanny had only been a babysitter and not an official nanny, but Ashton had no choice but to get rid of her when he finally realized that she had been drinking his wine and refilling the bottles with water. Belinda came after that, but she was far too strict and the girls were practically afraid of her. On the other hand, Mrs. S was the perfect balance of gentle nurturer and disciplinarian. It’ll definitely be hard to find someone just like her, or even better.

Ashton clears his throat and puts on another smile. “It’s going to be alright, loves. Pretty soon you’ll have a brand new nanny! One who tells the best bedtime stories and makes the yummiest pancakes. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

However, when he attempts to reach out and hold his daughter’s small hand in his, she quickly retracts her hand and closes in on herself, staring at the blank ceiling instead of meeting his eyes. The blatant rejection stings worse than any pain he’s felt in ages, and when he glances over to Annie’s bed, he finds that his other daughter is behaving in the same way, picking at the sheets instead of looking at him.

“Lillie? Annie?” he says quietly. “What’s gotten into you both?”

It takes several seconds of prodding, but eventually Lillie is the one who speaks up first.

“It’s not fair,” she mumbles.

Ashton furrows his brows. “What’s not fair?”

“First you made mommy go away and now Mrs. S.”

Those words are twice as shocking as anything else that she’s said already, but even more than that, a sharp pain settles right over Ashton’s heart. Staring back into her big, sad eyes, he can almost make out his own reflection, the reflection of a broken man whose children blame him for the death of their mother. He doesn’t know why it comes as a complete shock, since he’s been blaming himself this whole time as well. Maybe it’s because he has always wanted his children to see him as a protector and the one who loves them most, not some _villain_ who brings nothing but bad luck and pushes everyone away.

Perhaps that’s exactly what he is, then. Someone who jinxes those around him and fails to keep his family happy, no matter how hard he tries. Maybe he hasn’t been trying hard enough, and his daughters’ unhappiness is proof of this.

Before being able to speak again, Ashton has to swallow down the hard lump that has formed in his throat. Both of his daughters are staring at him now, waiting for what he will say next—or, perhaps they’re waiting for him to promise that he’ll bring back the women that they love. After all, they’re still just a couple of innocent children. All children have hope for impossible things, and even the most damaged ones believe in _something_.

“I-I didn’t _make_ them go away, sweetie, they just…” Ashton trails off and goes silent again, unsure of how he can explain that people don’t come back from the dead and that their nanny chose to leave them behind. Therefore, he goes for the safe route and tells them: “Daddy’s going to fix everything, okay? I promise.”

Thankfully, it’s a good enough answer for now.

“Pinky promise?” murmurs Lillie.

Ashton nods without a second thought and links his pinky finger with Lillie’s. He even leans over as far as he can and links his other finger with Annie’s, promising them both a second time so that they know he means it. While they don’t look as if they believe in him entirely, they do look like they’ve been given hope. That’s good enough for now, too.

Soon afterwards, they say goodnight and accept the forehead kisses that Ashton gives to them. The girls don’t ask for a bedtime story and Ashton is relieved for that, because the lump has resurfaced in his throat and he’s not sure that he’ll be able to keep it together for much longer. The last thing that he wants is for his baby girls to see their daddy crying, because then they’ll finally see that he isn’t the strong, resilient father that he’s supposed to be. Nothing would be worse than that.

There’s still nearly three hours before midnight, and although Ashton hasn’t gone to bed before two o’clock for as long as he can remember, he decides that tonight shall be an exception. He’s far too exhausted to work on anything that needs to be completed and he knows that he wouldn’t be able to focus on it, anyway; in other words, going to bed is his only option.

But as luck would have it, Ashton doesn’t make it down the hallway to his own bedroom before those plans are interrupted, too. Billie’s cries reach his ear before he even turns the corner, so he has no choice but to make a detour to the nursery to comfort his son. It certainly isn’t the first time that Billie has woken up in the middle of the night. However, it’s only been about an hour since Ashton first put him to bed, which usually implies that he’s just going to continue waking up all throughout the night.

The crying increases to its full volume when Ashton opens the door to the nursey and enters the room, where he finds Billie standing in his crib. It’s quite obvious that the poor babe had yet another nightmare, so Ashton does what any parent would do. He plucks Billie from his crib and whispers sweet nothings into his ear while gently rocking him in order to calm him down.

“Don’t cry, little one. Please don’t cry,” he murmurs softly, and pauses to press a gentle kiss to Billie’s temple. “It’s alright now, Billie. Daddy won’t ever let anything hurt you.”

The soothing words combined with the gentle rocking works its usual magic, and soon enough, Billie’s wailing turns into soft sniffles as he begins to drift off to sleep against Ashton’s chest. It’s these moments that make Ashton feel like he’s actually needed. With Billie, he feels as if he’s actually doing something right, because the little boy isn’t old enough to realize the truth. All he knows is Ashton’s warmth and soft humming when he’s being put to sleep, so Ashton will cherish these moments for as long as he possibly can.

“Well,” he murmurs, chuckling to himself. “At least I know that you still believe in me, huh?”

Billie doesn’t answer that, of course; but his breathing gradually slows down until Ashton is positive that he’s dozing off for good. His father’s voice never fails to have that effect on him, even if Ashton fails at most other things. In fact, he can’t even succeed at putting on a good face. His daughter’s words keep echoing inside of his head, and no matter how many times he tells himself that she’s just a child who doesn’t understand the weight behind those words, he can’t help but feel that she’s completely right. If he had tried harder to get Mrs. S to stay, or if he’d only been a better husband to Charlotte, then maybe neither of them would be gone.

If only, if only, if only.

It’s almost ironic, how Ashton manages to get Billie to stop crying when he can’t even stop himself from doing the same thing. But since no one’s watching him in this dark room whose only source of light is the night lamp plugged into the wall, Ashton hardly cares at this point. He allows himself to cry about his failures, the stress that eats away at him with every passing day, the death of his children’s mother as well as the death of the marriage that they tried to save by having another baby. He cries because he feels so lonely, he cries because he’s afraid; but most of all, he cries because it’s the only thing that allows him to feel, and the ability to feel _anything_ is what he truly misses.

“I just… I just don’t know what to _do_ ,” he whispers as another tear falls down his cheek.

From the looks of it, he’s absolutely sure that it’ll take a miracle of some sort before he’s able to figure everything out and get his children to believe in him again. And, well, he of all people knows that miracles don’t just grow on trees. Therefore, he’ll just have to find the seed to plant that tree for him.

***

Finding a new nanny to replace the previous one is never easy, but since this will be the fourth time that Ashton has hired a nanny at all, the process isn’t nearly as difficult as it should be. Actually, the only difficult part is deciding on which nannies to choose for the next stage: interviewing them.

Being a very busy man and a single father of three, Ashton doesn’t have all the time in the world to play nanny jeopardy and eliminate them one by one, so he dedicates just one entire evening to scrounging the internet for the perfect nannies. He scans over profile after profile, scrolling past the ones who don’t meet the requirements that he’s looking for and saving the ones who do meet those requirements in another tab. By the time that he’s finished, he’s left with five nannies who live nearby for him to choose from for the in-person interviews.

“What do you say, Billie?” he asks, glancing down at the infant currently sitting in his lap. “Nancy sounds like a good candidate, don’t you think? Even her name is that of a typical nanny.”

Instead of speaking his usual gibberish, Billie stares back at his father before reaching up and making an attempt at stealing the spectacles from Ashton’s face. Remembering the last time that Ashton had to replace his glasses because of one of his kids, he easily dodges the small hand and kisses it instead, smiling when his son smiles at him first.

“Sorry Billie, but my vision isn’t yours to play with.”

Billie makes an indignant sound at that, and then he goes back to chewing on the baby keys that never fails to keep him busy. Without a nanny to take care of things, Billie has hardly left Ashton’s sight over the past few days, except for when he’s asleep in his crib. Other times, he follows Ashton around the house in his baby walker or sits on Ashton’s lap while his father is working on the computer. It’s not too tough, though. Aside from crying a tad more than the average baby, Billie has always been an easy going baby who finds ways to entertain himself and doesn’t require constant movement. He’s actually rather quiet when he isn’t crying, and Ashton is grateful for that.

The twins, on the other hand, are currently playing by themselves as usual. The only time that they venture into Ashton’s office is when they’re hungry or want him to put a movie on for them to watch, and although it’s nice not having to keep an eye on them every minute of every day, Ashton feels as if he should be doing _more_ when it comes to spending time with his daughters. Even so, he lets things continue as they are because he has more on his plate than he can handle right now, and hiring a new nanny is the first step to fixing everything. At least, that’s what he tells himself.

“What about Tabitha, then? She sounds really nice.” Ashton squints at the brightly lit screen and begins to read from the woman’s profile. “Says here that she’s got ten years of experience and she’s really good with babies. Well, you’re a baby, so what do you think?”

When all that Billie replies with is a giant spit bubble and jingling of the keys he’s playing with, Ashton takes that as an undecided answer.

“Alright, alright. How about—”

He instantly pauses when he clicks on the next tab and is met with a mysterious profile. The user doesn’t have a profile picture, but they’re a twenty-two year old with six years of experience and they’re listed as _Luke H._ The funny thing is that Ashton doesn’t recall clicking on this particular profile while going through the epic list of nannies, and then there’s the fact that, well, they’re a _dude_. A dude who happens to be the very first male that Ashton has come across on this website so far.

To be honest, Ashton had no idea that male nannies were even a thing. Well, until now. But instead of judging this “Luke H.” right off the bat, he takes a moment to carefully read the user’s profile and finds that he does remember opening it in another tab, only he hadn’t read the name before. Seeing that this person meets all of the requirements that Ashton is looking for, suddenly his gender no longer matters as much.

“Well, he certainly doesn’t sound bad at all,” Ashton mutters, though mainly to himself. “His qualifications are good, too. He knows CPR, first-aid, and his background check is already on file… not to mention that he’s highly educated and received his degree about a year ago. He used to be a tutor, he really likes to sing, and apparently he’s a… surfer?”

Ashton glances down at Billie again, who is beginning to bang the keys against the desk just because he likes the noise that it makes, and also because babies can be quite destructive sometimes. It brings a soft laugh out of Ashton.

“You know, once upon a time—and I mean a long, long time ago—your daddy was a surfer, too! Not a very good one, but still.”

Unsurprisingly, Billie utters a long sentence that is completely undecipherable, but his tone makes it sound as if he doesn’t believe a single word that he’s just been told. Ashton gasps and pretends to be offended, and his reaction causes Billie to giggle for several seconds.

“Excuse you, but I’m telling the truth!” Ashton exclaims, and for whatever reason, Billie finds it absolutely _hilarious_. The baby giggles uncontrollably while staring up at Ashton with the brightest blue eyes, appearing just like his mother in this moment. A bittersweet feeling settles deep within Ashton’s stomach, but he decides not to focus on it.

“Okay, I think I’ll give him a chance and schedule an interview. Do you think that I should?”

Billie raises the keys into the air and blabbers something that sounds suspiciously a lot like the word _maybe_ , so Ashton will take it as such.

“I trust your judgement, then,” Ashton says with a laugh, and he kisses the top of Billie’s head.

The next step is getting in contact with Luke H. and setting up an interview for the upcoming weekend, so that’s precisely what Ashton does. And while he still wants to schedule interviews with the other four nannies, he’s sure that this first one will be a very interesting start.

***

When Saturday morning arrives, it’s as if all hell breaks loose.

It all starts when Ashton somehow manages to ignore his alarm clock and wake up much later than planned. When he quickly stumbles out of bed to start the day and prepare for Luke’s arrival, he smacks right into the door leading to the en suite. He swears it has nothing to do with his impaired vision and everything to do with his jumbled up brain, since he isn’t fully awake yet. An incredibly quick shower fixes that problem, and then it’s time for him to get the children ready, too.

That’s where Ashton runs into a bit of trouble. Lillie and Annie decide that they _really_ don’t like him today, so after choosing to finally follow orders only once he’s given said orders at least five times, they chase each other around the house while making as much noise as they can. Ashton is far too busy taking care of Billie to get them to quiet down, since the poor babe pukes up the breakfast that Ashton feeds to him. While it obviously isn’t the baby’s fault, this event does set Ashton back another twenty minutes as he cleans Billie up, changes his clothes, and then goes back to clean the highchair as well.

Honestly, he’s been without a nanny for a mere six days and he’s already tempted to grab a bottle of wine and say _screw it_ , then proceed to down the entire bottle to put himself to sleep for countless hours. At this point, he’s sure that a hangover is totally worth a few hours of bliss and _freedom_.

At last, the clock strikes twelve. Since they’ve agreed to hold the interview at noon, it doesn’t come as a surprise when the doorbell rings only a minute or two later; but unfortunately for Ashton, Billie is still in a fussy mood and absolutely refuses to be put down, whereas the girls have only just calmed down and are now sitting quietly in the family room, all thanks to _Alice in Wonderland_ on the TV.

Sadly, Ashton doesn’t get a chance to clean up the toys that they’ve left scattered along the floor. Even so, he sincerely hopes that all will go well regardless, and that he’s able to make a good impression; after all, choosing a nanny is not just about how much the family gets along with the nanny in question. It’s just as equally about how well the nanny feels about the family that wants to hire them!

With a baby on his hip and a belly filled with nerves, Ashton kicks a Lego toy to the side and answers the front door with a welcoming smile.

On the other side of the door stands a man with a bright smile of his own, only it’s a lot softer and perhaps even a tad bit bashful. In contrast, the smile on Ashton’s face instantly shifts into a look of confusion as he tries to figure out who exactly this stranger is—this rather _attractive_ stranger, who looks like a university student that’s going door-to-door for some sort of school project, or something like that, which would explain the brown bag slung across his shoulder and his white button-down with grey cardigan combo.

However, Ashton isn’t looking at the bag so much as he’s taking in the stranger’s appearance; his soft, featherlike blond hair that almost looks like gold in the natural sunlight; his clear blue eyes that brings an innocent look to his already boyish face, adorned with a pointy nose, a subtle cleft in his clean-shaven chin, and thin lips that are much pinker than the color in his cheeks. 

“Hi there,” Ashton slowly says, only because he supposes that he should be the one to speak first. “May I help you with something…?”

All of a sudden, the bashful smile on this guy’s face disappears as well, and now he looks just plain embarrassed as he scrambles for a reply.

“Oh, um,” he starts, and then briefly glances over his shoulder at where his car is parked along the sidewalk as if contemplating to run for it. “You’re… You _are_ Mr. Irwin, right? If not, then oh gosh, I’m terribly sorry. I must have the wrong address! You see, I’m meant to arrive at the Irwin residence at noon but then I got lost because I’ve never been in this area before and the houses are all so _big_ , and then—”

“Yes!” Ashton blurts out just to get this guy to stop talking at a mile a minute. “Yes, I’m Ashton Irwin, and you… _you’re_ Luke, I assume?”

Once again, his smile returns immediately.

“Yep, that’s me!” Then, he extends his arm for a handshake. “Luke Hemmings, at your service. Again, I’m really sorry for the delay…”

Ashton is quick to reach out with his free arm and take the hand that’s been offered to him, noting how much softer they are in comparison to his own. When he retracts his hand, he does his best to ignore the blood rising to his cheeks and clears his throat, putting on the welcoming smile that had originally been there.

“Then I’m the one who should be apologizing! It’s just that I… well, I had imagined that you would look quite different.” Or, in other words, he hadn’t imagined that Luke would be so handsome and young looking, though it makes sense. He’s only twenty-two and fresh out of university, after all. “Anyway, please, come in!”

Ashton opens the door wider and allows Luke to step inside, then shuts the door behind him. Right off the bat, Luke silently takes in his surroundings, looking everywhere from the high ceiling to the floor beneath his feet. Ashton can feel himself blushing again, seeing the multiple toys scattered along the hardwood floor.

“I hope that you’ll excuse the mess,” he says with a nervous laugh. “It’s not always like this, but my girls have been really… _hyperactive_ all morning and I didn’t have any time to clean up the mess that they’ve made.”

Luke instantly turns to face him with that same soft smile from before.

“Oh, it’s alright! I don’t mind at all. I was just admiring, well, everything else. You have a very lovely home, this place is almost like a mansion.”

As Ashton starts to thank him for the compliment, Billie suddenly drops his favorite yellow sippy cup to the floor. In the blink of an eye, Luke bends down and picks it up with a swoop of his hand, and then he hands it over to Billie with an amused expression on his face.

“Ah, where are my manners? I’m Luke! What’s your name, little guy?” Luke asks, and instead of holding his hand out like he did for Ashton, he holds out just his index finger and allows Billie to grasp onto it. Ashton almost flinches at the sight, knowing that his son has the iron grip of a bear; however, Luke’s smile only widens.

“This is Billie,” Ashton answers. “And he just had his first birthday a couple of weeks back.”

Luke lets out a dramatic gasp. “Well then, happy belated birthday to you!”

The strangest yet most beautiful thing happens next. Luke makes a random silly face at Billie, and Billie actually _laughs_ , like, full-on laughs to the point where his eyes sparkle and his chubby cheeks go a little pink, which is a reaction that doesn’t usually occur with strangers. In fact, it pretty much never happens. Even Mrs. S had to earn his trust before she was able to make him laugh like that, but with Luke, Billie appears to be entirely comfortable and amused at the man’s silly facial expressions. And as a spectator to this interaction, Ashton is both surprised and impressed.

Straightening his back again, Luke looks to Ashton and whispers, “I think he likes me.”

“I think so, too,” Ashton whispers back, and the two of them share a brief laugh. Billie laughs with them as well, despite obviously having no clue as to what’s so funny. But anyone can agree that his laughter is a lot more welcomed than his crying.

Ashton leads Luke into the living room where he will be conducting the first part of the interview, and while Luke settles in, he takes Billie into the other room and sets him down in his play pen. Thankfully, the girls still have their eyes glued to the television, so he knows that they won’t be much of a distraction during this first part. Still, he gives them a quick reminder.

“Daddy’s just going to be in the other room with our guest, so I need the both of you to be on your best behavior, alright?”

He thinks that one of the twins nod their head, but other than that, they don’t pay him much attention. Sighing, Ashton supposes that it’s much better than being blatantly defied. With that thought in mind, he leaves them to their Disney film and makes a detour to the kitchen, where he grabs the tray of lemonade and cookies he’d put together earlier and then returns to the living room.

Ashton finds Luke standing in front of the fireplace, examining some of the picture frames on top of the mantel. From this angle, Ashton can see the hint of a smile on Luke’s face, and at this rate he’s beginning to wonder if Luke ever stops smiling. Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a generally happy person. As a matter of fact, Ashton used to be the most optimistic and positive guy out there; but he just hopes that Luke won’t be put off by the way that he is nowadays.

“Mr. Irwin, I—”

“Please, call me Ashton,” he requests, setting the tray down onto the coffee table between the two fancy, cream colored sofas.

Luke comes over and takes a seat on the sofa opposite of Ashton. Again, he smiles, and it’s the bashful one from before.

“Ashton. I just wanted to say that you have an incredibly beautiful family. You must be truly happy.”

“Thank you. And yes, I am.” Ashton returns the smile with ease, and as Luke reaches forward to take one of the two glasses of lemonade, he crosses a leg over the other and patiently waits until Luke has quenched his thirst. “However, what this family needs now more than ever is a new nanny, ever since the previous one left us nearly a week ago.”

“Right,” Luke says, nodding. He sets down his glass and crosses his legs as well, suddenly looking quite determined. “Interview time, correct?”

Ashton huffs out a small laugh. “You’re correct, but don’t think of this as, say, an interview for a position at KFC, Ikea, or anything like that. Since I’m looking for a full-time, live-in nanny, I’d prefer it if we were as open with each other as possible, you know? If you have any specific concerns, feel free to talk about them. If there’s anything that you’d like to know about me, don’t hesitate to ask. Alright?”

After hearing those words, Luke visibly relaxes a little, though he looks as surprised as Ashton did when Billie instantly warmed up to him.

“Alright, no problem. I can do that,” Luke replies. “Thanks.”

Ashton raises a brow. “For?”

“Well, for…” Luke pauses for a few seconds and gives it some genuine thought. He looks as if he’s thinking really hard too, with his brows furrowed in concentration and his head tilted to one side. Finally, he merely shrugs and begins to look bashful once more. “Um. I don’t really know. But thanks anyway.”

And that right there, _that_ makes Ashton laugh. Like Luke, he’s not entirely sure as to why he’s laughing all of a sudden, but it happens and he doesn’t attempt to fight it. His laughter only comes to an end when he takes notice of the way that Luke is looking at him now, all wide-eyed with a half-smirk to show his amusement. And now Ashton is the one who starts feeling a tad bashful, so he clears his throat and begins with the usual questions.

“So, tell me a bit about yourself. Why did you choose to become a nanny?”

Before answering the question, Luke glances down at his folded hands in his lap. Or, more specifically, the small ring on his pinky finger. However, it seems less like he’s thinking of an answer and more like he’s remembering something special, hinted by the way that he begins to smile before locking eyes with Ashton again.

“Around four years ago, I went through a very… difficult time. Actually, it was the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to deal with, and at that point in my life, I couldn’t find a single reason to be happy. But, I was also working at a Kindergarten back then, and spending time with those bright children became my new source of happiness, I think. I saw how even the smallest of things could make them happy and excited, and remembered how I was the same way at their age. It made me want to protect their happiness, to nurture them and teach them that even when life knocks them down, they can still get back up and enjoy the little things that never fail to make them happy. For me, those children were… quite literally the little things that kept me going, I suppose.”

Ashton isn’t sure of what enchants him the most; the explanation itself, the sincerity in Luke’s tone as he speaks, or the subtle smile that never seems to leave his face the entire time. Perhaps it’s all of the above that leaves Ashton speechless by the time that Luke has finished, and then it’s up to his brain to process all of that. He must remain silent for a second too long, because Luke’s smile becomes uneasy and he nervously chews on his bottom lip while scratching at the back of his head.

“Was that… too weird? Too corny? I swear that I meant every word of it, it’s just that my mind is still focused on the fact that this is an interview and whatnot, so I may have gotten a little carried away…”

Ashton dismisses those words with a wave of his hand. “No, no, it was fine! Really. I think it’s very sweet, actually.” He smiles at Luke just to prove that he means it, and it warms his insides when Luke grins back as usual. “So is that when you decided that you wanted to be a nanny?”

“Half and half,” Luke answers, and when it’s clear that Ashton doesn’t understand, he explains further. “It was when I decided that I wanted to do something involving childcare, which led me to where I am now as a teacher at Sunnydale Elementary School. I figured that since my mom was a teacher and my oldest brother is a professor, then I’d follow in their footsteps.”

“But?”

“But… being a school teacher just isn’t for me. I mean, I loved tutoring back in high school, but I’ve been babysitting since I was sixteen and I’ve always preferred it over simply teaching. A teacher can only do so much for a child, whereas a nanny has the advantage of making sure that the child has a good home-life, too. After all, what goes on at home often affects how a child does in school, you know?”

Ashton nods while making a mental note of that. Lillie and Annie still have another year before they have to start going to school, and Ashton has been mentally preparing himself for their first day as school students from the day that they learned how to walk. Now that he’s all on his own, he’s not sure if he’ll be able to handle it anymore.

“Well, I’m sure that figuring out what you really wanted to do must have been a great moment for you.”

“Oh, it certainly was!” Luke replies excitedly, and it almost causes Ashton to laugh again.

“So,” he says, ready to move on. “I hope that you don’t take this the wrong way, but did you ever have any doubts about becoming a nanny? You know, since it’s considered an unusual job title for men?”

“Not really, no. I’ve never really been the type of person to conform to every gender role out there, so it’s never bothered me. Well, except for that one thing…” Luke trails off and snorts, rolling his eyes. “Apparently male nannies are called… _mannies_ , and it grinds my gears more than you could ever know. But eh, what can ya do.”

“Mannies? Seriously?” Ashton really does start to laugh this time, but when Luke sighs and nods his head sadly, showing that he isn’t kidding, Ashton can’t help rolling his eyes as well. “Geez, sounds a bit unnecessary, if you ask me. Those must be the same people who use terms like ‘man purse’ and ‘man bun’.”

“I know, right?! Finally, someone understands me!”

For the second time, Luke has that excited grin on his face. Ashton only realizes that he’s mirroring that grin when his cheeks begin to feel sore from smiling so much, but he doesn’t stop because, well, he’s unable to right now. It’s clear that Billie isn’t the only one who’s affected by Luke’s charm.

“I take it you won’t mind if we call you Nanny Luke instead of Manny Luke, then?” he teases.

Luke playfully rolls his eyes, still grinning. But what he says is this: “You can call me whatever you’d like.”

Over the next several minutes, Ashton asks Luke about a handful of other questions that he answers just as perfectly as the first one; but eventually, the interview has somehow shifted into the most relaxed and casual conversation that Ashton has had the chance to have in who knows how long. They take turns talking about their hobbies (Luke enjoys singing and baking, and he usually sings while he bakes), their mutual interest in all things musical (Luke used to play the guitar), and sharing cute stories about the children in their lives (Luke has the most _adorable_ nephew).

At some point, Ashton moves to the other sofa and sits next to Luke to show him countless baby pictures like the proud daddy that he is. It’s been a long time since Ashton has gushed about his children to someone who doesn’t already know them, and it’s extra nice because Luke is genuinely interested in every little thing. But it’s not only due to the fact that he wants to become the new nanny. Ashton can tell that Luke really does adore children, and he’s exactly the type of person that this family needs.

“This was taken a few months ago on Halloween,” Ashton explains as he hands Luke yet another photo of the girls. “They both wanted to be Little Red Riding Hood and refused to believe me when I said that there was only _one_ Little Red in the story, so I went along with it and bought two of the same costumes. And since we always dress up as a family, Billie was the wolf and I had to be Granny.”

Ashton hands Luke another picture that had been taken, this time featuring the four of them together, and it fills him with even more joy when he sees the way that Luke’s face splits into the biggest grin.

“Aww!” Luke coos, and he carefully holds the photo between his fingers as if it were the most valuable treasure. “This has to be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! And dare I say it, but you sure do make a pretty Granny.”

Ashton giggles in such a way that could light up even the darkest of rooms. Though slightly embarrassed at first, he relaxes again when Luke also giggles, still giving all of his attention to the photograph. It’s more than obvious that he has passed the first part of the day’s interview, so Ashton figures that it’s time to move on to the second half.

“Speaking of which,” he says, grabbing Luke’s attention again, “would you like to meet my daughters now?”

Luke nods without hesitation. “I’d love to!”

A moment later, Ashton escorts Luke into the family room where the children are. He sighs with relief when he finds that they’ve obeyed his request from earlier, since he had honestly expected otherwise. Instead of paying attention to the end of _Alice and Wonderland_ , Lillie and Annie are entertaining themselves with a game of patty cake while Billie quietly chews on the stuffed monkey in his play pen. He looks rather sleepy, so Ashton makes a mental note to take him upstairs for his nap soon.

“Lillie, Annie,” he calls out to get their attention. “Come and say hello to our guest, Nanny Luke.”

The girls stand up from the floor without question and do as they’re told. However, they approach their father and Luke with the most confused expressions on their faces, and it isn’t difficult to figure out the cause of it. Ashton hadn’t mentioned the gender of the first applicant, and since neither of the girls actually say hello or anything else for that matter, Ashton speaks for them.

“This is Lillie,” he says, gesturing to the small, curly-headed blonde girl on the left. “Like the flower, but spelt with two L’s and the letters I and E instead of a Y. My other daughter is named Annie, and they’re identical twins but you can tell them apart by—”

“Freckles,” Luke finishes for him. He smiles at Ashton before squatting down to be at the same height as the twins. “Annie has light freckles dusted across her nose and cheeks, while Lillie does not. Lillie does, however, have the faintest little beauty mark beneath her right eye. It’s easy enough to remember the difference.”

Okay, so Ashton has to admit that he’s very impressed. At first glance, the twins look exactly alike; but upon closer look, they have more physical differences than most people are aware of. Or care about, for that matter. Luke most certainly cares, though. Ashton didn’t think that he could like Luke even more than he already does, but it appears that he’d been wrong.

“Hi there, I’m Luke!” he chirps, speaking to both of them at once with a friendly smile.

Finally, Lillie says, “Are you the new nanny?”

“Well, that all depends,” he answers.

“Depends?” Annie inquires.

“Yeah, it depends on whether or not you and your daddy decide that you like me and want me to stay with you.”

The confusion on the girls’ faces changes to that of enlightenment, now that they have a clear understanding of what’s going on. Ashton is just grateful that they don’t seem hesitant or wary, especially considering the hole that Mrs. S left in their little hearts. He had figured that they’d immediately shun another nanny in fear that history would repeat itself, but that doesn’t seem to be the case as of now. In fact, Luke’s presence seems to intrigue them.

“You’re a boy _and_ a nanny, too?” Lillie asks, and her tone suggests that she finds it to be quite amazing.

“I am,” Luke replies with a laugh.

Annie adds, “We’ve never had a boy nanny before.”

“Well then,” Luke starts, and he places his right hand over his heart as if to make an oath. “I can promise that I don’t have any cooties on me.”

The girls actually giggle at that, and even Ashton can’t stop himself from grinning. He can tell that they’re going to get along just fine.

“Say, how about letting Luke play with you both while daddy fixes lunch?” Ashton proposes.

The twins eagerly nod at the same time.

“Wanna play Legos with us?” Lillie suggests, and she holds out a hand for Luke to take.

Luke nods. “I like the sound of that,” he says, and allows himself to be led over to the abandoned pile of Legos in the middle of the room.

The point of having the nanny candidates play with the children is so that the parent gets a first look at how they interact with each other. Obviously, this part is just as important as the questions and answers segment, and it’s advised that the parent doesn’t watch the nanny like a hawk during this time so that they’ll also get a glimpse of how the nanny behaves when the parent is out of sight. That’s why Ashton busies himself with making sandwiches for lunch, and every now and then, he checks in on them to see if everything is going well.

Now, let’s just say that everything couldn’t be any better. Just like little Billie, who joins in on their Lego fun once taken out of his play pen, Lillie and Annie warm up to Luke incredibly fast. Actually, they do a lot more than simply warm up to him, because it’s clear that they’ve already declared him as their new best friend.

Even from the kitchen, Ashton can hear their laughter and Billie’s squeals of joy. He can’t recall the last person who made his children laugh like this. Not even Mrs. S was able to pull this off during her interview many months ago. It’s almost hard to believe that any of this is real, but every time that Ashton walks by the family room, he’s pleasantly surprised to find that it is. With a warm smile on his face, he watches Luke playfully tickle the girls, give eskimo kisses to Billie, and entertain them with a couple of sock puppets that he brought along in his little brown bag. Their laughter and their angelic smiles are contagious, and for a moment, it’s as if Luke has always been with them from the very beginning.

The next time that Ashton walks into the family room to summon them for lunch, he’s both confused and amused when he finds Luke and the girls spinning in circles. They both laugh just as loudly as before, when Luke gives up and plops down on the carpet again to catch his breath.

“I hope that I’m not interrupting anything too important,” Ashton says, grinning cheekily.

“Oh, no, it’s fine,” Luke laughs. “They were just teaching me some of their ballet moves. As it turns out, I’m not that good!”

“It’s okay,” Annie tells him. “You’re still better at spinning than daddy is.”

“Oi, I’m not _that_ terrible!” Ashton argues, but the girls erupt into giggles before he’s even done with that sentence. “Anyway, it’s time to eat lunch now. Make sure you’ve washed your hands with soap _before_ you sit down at the table, girls.”

“Okay!” they reply in unison as they dash out of the room and down the hallway.

Once they’ve gone, Luke scoops Billie into his arms and stands up again. His original plan was probably to hand Billie over to Ashton, but the worn out baby rests his head on Luke’s shoulder and it doesn’t look like he wants to be bothered anytime soon.

“Uh oh, looks like someone’s sleepy,” Luke murmurs. He gently rubs Billie’s back and kisses the top of his head. “How about some lunch first, hm?”

Even just watching this small bit of interaction makes Ashton feel weak in the knees. He’s not sure what it is, but there’s something about seeing Luke with a small babe in his arms that makes it the cutest sight _ever_ , a sight that makes Ashton feel all sorts of good things inside. But even more than that, he wants to know _how_.

“How do you do it?” Ashton wonders aloud.

Luke finally looks up at him with the most innocent expression, one that reminds Ashton of his own children, as strange as it is.

“Do what?” he asks, cocking his head to the side. It only makes it ten times worse.

“Well… _everything_ ,” Ashton replies. “Lillie and Annie absolutely adore you. That much is obvious. But even Billie seems to have taken a strong liking to you as well, and I can honestly say that that’s never happened before. He’s never been too comfortable with strangers, but when it comes to you, it’s as if… you’re not a stranger at all? So, I’m just wondering, how do you do it?”

Luke really does take a moment to give the question some thought, while Ashton continues to stand there, amazed at just how _good_ this guy is. Hell, it’s an even bigger mystery that he isn’t already a father himself, because he’d obviously make a damn good one.

“I… guess I’m just a natural?” he says at last, and once again, the bashful grin has made its return. “I don’t know, I just do my best to keep them smiling. As long as they’ve got a smile on their faces, then I assume that I must be doing something right.”

Well, it certainly isn’t a bad answer and it does make a bit of sense, so Ashton will accept it for now.

Next, he invites Luke to stay for lunch and leads him into the kitchen, where he’s forced to watch with amusement as the girls argue over who gets to sit next to Luke. In the end, Luke sits next to Billie’s highchair and encourages the baby as he attempts to use a spoon to eat the special carrot soup that Ashton made for him.

Meanwhile, the girls are more talkative than ever. They spend more time asking Luke question after question and less time actually eating their lunches, but of course Luke doesn’t mind it. They’re just trying to get to know him a little better, so they ask the first things that come to mind.

“What’s your favorite color?” Lillie asks.

“Blue! What’s yours?”

“Blue!”

“Wow, really?”

“No,” she admits. “But it is now.”

Everyone sitting at the table laughs. Even Billie, who has no clue what’s going on but is just happy to be there with them.

“Do you like cookies?” Annie asks next.

“I _love_ cookies,” Luke tells her. “Especially the chocolate chip ones with M &Ms inside!”

“Mrs. S _always_ made us yummy cookies with chocolate chips,” Lillie says.

Luke tilts his head to the side. “Mrs. S?”

“The previous nanny,” Ashton explains. “She used to bake for them quite often, is all.”

“I see, I see. Let’s make a deal, then.” Luke leans forward and glances back and forth between the girls with a mischievous grin. “If it turns out that my cookies are even yummier than the ones you’ve had before, will you teach me to do the spinny ballet thing again?”

The girls nods without a second thought on the matter.

“Okay, I’ll teach you!” Lillie says.

“Me too! Me too!” Annie exclaims.

Luke chuckles and says, “Then it’s a deal!”

After lunch is when the interview officially meets its end. During past interviews with previous nannies, this is the point in which Ashton usually goes over everything that he enjoyed about the nanny’s methods. However, because he can’t think of a single thing that Luke _isn’t_ good at, Ashton doesn’t even know where to begin. That’s how he ends up spending the next five minutes praising Luke for his childcare skills, until the younger man has gone completely red in the face. His smile is one of total gratitude, though, and Ashton can hardly wait to see him again.

“Girls!” Ashton calls out. “Come and say goodbye to Luke!”

A few seconds later, they’re joined by the sound of small feet pitter-pattering against the hardwood floor, and then the twins appear from around the corner, once again looking as if they have a million and one questions to ask.

“You’re leaving?” Lillie asks incredulously.

“ _Already_?” Annie adds with just as much emotion.

Before either adult can answer that question, the twins charge at Luke at once, clinging to his legs and expressing their disapproval with a chorus of “no, no, please don’t leave!” It’s safe to say that this strong reaction was completely unexpected and Ashton is briefly rendered speechless at their odd behavior, but he quickly snaps out of it and attempts to chastise them for misbehaving.

“Lillie, Annie, that’s enough,” he says in a warning tone, but they easily ignore him. That’s when Ashton glances back up at Luke with an apologetic look on his face, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I’m really sorry, they’re not usually like this…”

“It’s fine, nothing I can’t handle,” Luke tells him in a tone of confidence. He then bends down to the girls’ height and accepts their hugs, holding them close to his chest and gently patting them on their backs. When he pulls away, he smiles at them. “There’s no reason to be sad, angels. How about turning those frowns upside down for Nanny Luke, hm?”

The girls do attempt to smile, but their sadness outweighs their efforts.

“Aww, I know that you can do much better than that! See, I’ll prove it.”

Suddenly, Luke begins tickling the both of them. In an instant, Lillie and Annie erupt into a fit of giggles and he doesn’t show them mercy until tears have formed at the corners of their eyes. Afterwards, they’re still smiling at him with toothy grins and nodding at every word that he says, as he promises that they will see each other again soon.

This is the moment in which Ashton finally comes to a decision and realizes what must be done. Seeing just how much the girls (and Billie) adore Luke to the point of _refusing_ to let him leave, Ashton would be a fool not to hire the guy right on the spot. Sure, it’s a bit of a risky decision because there’s still four other nannies that Ashton had wanted to interview, but the truth is that no one is as unique as Luke. Luke is patient, kind, funny, and he understands the children in a way that not even Ashton feels like he does. And after today, he doubts that the girls will be as welcoming to the other potential nannies because of the great effect that Luke has had on them in just these past couple of hours.

In addition to how much the children adore Luke, Ashton has to admit that he’s beginning to develop a soft spot for the nanny as well. It’s just that he and Luke really click together in a way that Ashton hasn’t clicked with anyone in a long, long time, and he has enjoyed Luke’s company to the fullest. It certainly wouldn’t be a bad thing to have him around all the time, so with this thought in mind, Ashton finally goes for it.

“Actually,” he speaks up, gaining their attention. “I think that… Luke really should stay, at least for a little while longer. This will give us plenty of time to go over the contract and set up a move-in date for you.”

At first, it doesn’t look as if Luke has the slightest clue of what Ashton is trying to say, but once it finally clicks, he looks about as excited as a child who’s just been told that they’re going to Disneyland. It’s quite amusing, to be honest.

“You mean that I’m _hired_?” he asks, just because it sounds too good to be true.

Ashton confirms it with a nod and an honest smile.

“That’s exactly what I mean! Welcome to the family, Luke.”

It’s only when he says those words that Lillie and Annie are able to process what’s going on, and then the two of them are jumping up and down with tremendous joy and excitement. They ask Luke if he’s really going to stay and be their new nanny, and Luke tells them that there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. Ashton’s never seen a sight so precious, and since there’s plenty of time to discuss details and contracts, he doesn’t disrupt their little reunion—despite the fact that Luke hadn’t even left to begin with.

And so for the first time in the past week, Ashton starts to feel like he has a bit of control over his life again.

***

Once all of the formal paperwork has been taken care of, Luke moves into the Irwin household just a few days later. Ashton has never seen Lillie and Annie as excited as they are on the morning that Luke shows up on their doorstep, carrying two suitcases and wearing a smile even brighter than the sun. He’s not the only one full of smiles today, either. Ashton is relieved to know that with a nanny in the house to take care of the children, he can _finally_ catch up on the work that he’s been neglecting. All that he has to do is help Luke get settled in and explain some of the house rules that must be followed. The rest will come naturally.

“First things first,” Ashton says, “I’ll show you to your room and then give you a tour of the house so that you’ll never have to worry about getting lost. Does that sound good to you?”

Luke, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he arrived over ten minutes ago, nods his head.

“Sounds perfect to me.”

Lillie, however, has other plans.

“I want to do it,” she says to her father, visibly pouting now. “You said that I could do it.”

Ashton chuckles. “Of course, love. How could I have forgotten? Lillie and Annie will show you to your room and then give you a tour of our home, while I follow behind and make sure that you feel as welcomed as you should be. Now, does _that_ sound good?”

Lillie gives a curt nod. “Thank you.”

A second later, the twins grab Luke by the hands and begin tugging him in the direction of the grand staircase.

“Come on! Come on!” Annie says, urging Luke to walk faster. “You have to see your room! You have to see it!”

Luke simply laughs. “Alright, alright, I’ll hurry.”

Even so, he doesn’t miss a chance to glance at all of his surroundings. The Irwin home contains almost as many wall paintings as a very miniature art museum, since Charlotte had been a collector. The fancy paintings on the wall is only the tip of the iceberg, however.

Most of the furniture is rather old with a vintage feel to them; but not in the way that each piece was bought in a garage sale and still contains old cigarette burns on the cushions. No, definitely not that. More like, the furniture was owned by someone else a very long time ago, yet never actually used. In fact, all of the pieces still had plastic on them and remained in pristine condition, back when Ashton first bought them. Now, one might wonder why such valuable furniture is kept in a house with young children, but all of the more expensive furniture sits in the living room and the children aren’t allowed to go in there. The twins obey these rules, for the most part.

Luke’s bedroom is the first room on the right side just near the staircase. There are a total of two guest bedrooms within the home, one on the first floor and another on the second floor. Being a much older woman, Mrs. S used to inhabit the one on the first floor to prevent her from having to climb the stairs so many times a day. Although she left the room as spotless as if she had never lived there at all, Ashton figured that Luke would be more comfortable in a room that has been vacant for a longer period of time.

Lillie is quick to open the door to the guestroom and lead Luke inside by the hand.

“This is where you have to sleep,” she tells him, pointing to the bed against the wall as if he can’t see it himself.

“Do you like it?” Annie asks, and she stares up at him with a big, toothy grin as he glances around the room. When he’s finished, he looks down at her with a smile that’s equally as excited as her own.

“I _love_ it,” Luke says. He glances over his shoulder and watches Ashton set the suitcases down near the doorway, then adds: “I really, really do. Honestly, I think it’s even bigger than the little apartment that I was staying in. Are you sure that I get to live in here?”

Ashton nods. “Of course! You didn’t think that we’d stick you in a closet, did ya? As the saying goes, _mi casa es su casa_. I think. I’m not really sure, foreign languages have never been my strong point.”

Luke laughs softly. “Well, you’re not wrong.” A second later, he gasps and turns to Ashton once again. “Oh, by the way! I was kind of wondering if I’m allowed to hang a few things along the walls? Just a few personal items that I brought with me. And don’t worry, it’s nothing provocative or anything like that.”

“Um, sure? Yeah, go ahead. I don’t really mind,” Ashton says, shrugging. “Feel free to do whatever you want with the room, just try not to drill any holes in the walls or build a secret laboratory of some sort, alright?”

Understanding the reference, Luke ends up laughing again.

“You have my word,” he says, and then he winks.

The twins seem to grow impatient with the brief staring contest going down between their father and the new nanny, because once again, they take Luke by the hands and begin to lead him out of the bedroom and into the hallway once more. Ashton simply follows behind and lets the girls have their bit of fun.

“This is my room!” Lillie announces as they arrive at another door just down the hall.

“Hey! It’s my room, too!” Annie corrects her.

In response, Lillie sighs dramatically and revises her original statement.

“This is _our_ room, and it’s the bestest one in the whole entire house.”

With that, she opens the door and charges into the room with Annie following right behind her. They show Luke which bed belongs to each of them, where they keep their clothes and their toys, the many story books in the little bookcase near the corner, and they even let him meet Mr. Fluff, their most favorite stuffed bunny rabbit.

They don’t move on with the tour until the last task is completed, and Ashton half expects Luke to be exhausted by now because he himself is feeling a little tired just watching the girls run around like this. But if anything, Luke appears to be even more excited now, and Ashton is a mix between impressed and worried that this guy is abnormal as it gets.

Well, at least he knows that one thing is for certain. Never again will he underestimate Luke’s tolerance for hyperactive five year olds.

Next, they find themselves standing outside of the nursery. Annie opens the door as quietly as possible, but they don’t enter the room because Ashton doesn’t allow them to. That’s only due to the fact that Billie is currently taking his late morning nap, and he gets rather fussy whenever he’s awakened from it. If there’s one thing that puts Billie in a foul mood, it’s having his sleep disturbed.

“Billie sleeps in here,” Annie whispers to Luke. “You can say hi to him later when he’s awake.”

“Alright, I’ll put that on my to-do list,” Luke whispers back to her.

After leaving the nursery, they move onto the bathroom and Ashton’s exercise room, and since the use of those rooms is rather self-explanatory, they don’t spend much time there. Eventually they find themselves outside of Ashton’s office, and the girls come to a halt right in front of the door.

“This is where daddy works and does the grown-up stuffs,” Lillie explains. “We can’t go in there unless daddy is in there, too.”

Both Lillie and Annie turn to Ashton in unison, and even if they won’t ask out loud, he knows exactly what it is that they’re hoping for. Even Luke has a look of curiosity on his face, but being the only other adult in the group, he knows that it’s polite not to ask for permission to enter such an obviously private room. However, now it’s Ashton’s turn to impress the new nanny, so he smiles at his daughters and pretends to be nonchalant about the whole thing.

“Well, daddy just so happens to be standing right here, so you can go on and show Nanny Luke the office if you’d like.”

Because they’re obviously just _bursting_ with excitement, Lillie and Annie reach for the doorknob at the same time. They push it open together and quickly lead Luke into the small room, but since they’re far too young to explain what everything is, like the multiple computer screens and the musical instruments, Ashton does the rest for them.

“As you can see, this is where I compose the music that I make. I guess there isn’t actually much to _see_ , but—”

“Wait, you’re a _composer_?” Luke interrupts, whirling around so fast that Ashton nearly bumps into him. Currently, the curious look from only a moment ago has made way for one of sheer amazement, as if he’s just realized that he’s in the presence of a celebrity or something.

“I am, yeah, but I mean—I’m definitely no Hans Zimmer, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Ashton huffs out a short laugh in an attempt to rid himself of the subtle blush on his cheeks, despite knowing that it won’t go away as long as Luke keeps gazing at him like this. “But, um, yeah. I compose for much smaller films, and sometimes other things like commercials.”

“Wow,” Luke mutters in awe. “That’s amazing!”

“You really think so?”

“Well, why wouldn’t I? I really love how you’ve decorated the room, too. It looks just like an actual studio! Are those real vinyls on the wall?”

Ashton can say that he definitely hadn’t expected Luke to be so intrigued by the room or his occupation, but it certainly does give him the ego boost that he’s been needing. He spends the next few minutes showing Luke his collection of vintage records and letting him listen to a sample of a soundtrack that he’s working on, until the twins grow impatient again because they’re ready to move on with the tour. Ashton only relents after promising to show Luke some more at another time.

Once back in the hallway, Lillie points at the double doors leading into the last room on the second floor.

“That’s where daddy sleeps,” she explains, and then she gasps as an idea suddenly comes to mind. “Wanna see the bed? It’s super duper big!”

“And bouncy!” Annie chimes in.

Of course, being the adorably innocent little angels that they are, obviously neither of them understand the implication behind those words. So before it gets any worse and Ashton’s face goes as red as an apple, he loudly clears his throats and gives them his best smile.

“ _Or_ , you can take Luke downstairs and show him the rest of the house! I’m sure that he wants to see your playroom and the backyard. Don’t you, Luke? Of course he does. Girls, lead the way!”

The look on Luke’s face tells Ashton that he’s trying extremely hard not to laugh right now. He doesn’t say anything, though, and simply lets the twins lead him back to the staircase.

“Let’s go, Luke, I wanna show you my bike!”

“You have to see mine, too!”

They’re gone in an instant, leaving Ashton to his own vices for the time being.

The rest of the morning goes by smoothly and lunchtime is a repeat of the first time that Luke joined them for a meal. The girls strike up an undying conversation and Luke gushes over Billie, who seems to gush over him as well. But even after lunch, they’re unwilling to leave Luke’s side. At most, Lillie and Annie cease following him around for about twenty minutes while he unpacks his things and gets settled in his new bedroom, and the only reason that they don’t sit in his room and watch is because Ashton requests that they give him a bit of space.  Of course, he can’t expect a couple of children to completely understand what that means, but they do as he says because they know that Luke will come out and play with them eventually.

It’s not until approximately three in the afternoon when things begin to go astray.

Lillie and Annie are currently demonstrating their fancy ballet moves to Luke once again to show him how it’s properly done, while Luke sits on the floor in front of them with Billie propped up in his lap. Luke claps for them every time that they perform a perfect spin, and he presses Billie’s hands together to make him clap as well. Ashton is content with sitting back and watching the four of them, until he’s interrupted by the ringing of his cellphone.

As soon as he gets to the kitchen where it’s much quieter, Ashton answers with a casual greeting when he sees who’s trying to reach him.

“Hey, Cal. How’s it going?”

Calum _loudly_ speaks into the phone. “You better not be busy, because I think I’ve just landed you the perfect deal!”

“Deal? What deal?” Ashton frowns, already suspicious. Regardless of his own curiosity, he shakes his head and responds, “Never mind that, I actually am kind of busy today. The new nanny moved in this morning, so the kids and I are helping him get settled in. Y’know, by making him feel welcomed and whatnot.”

“Wait, wait, wait. _Him_?” Calum snorts. “You hired a _dude_ nanny? Is that, like, a real thing? Huh, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”

Ashton just rolls his eyes. “Yes, I hired a _dude_ nanny, and yes, it’s a thing. It’s 2016, Cal, get with the times.”

“Pfft, have you forgotten that I’m married to a guy who has dyed his hair all the colors of the rainbow? _Twice_?”

“Point taken. Anyway, his name is Luke and the girls practically love him already. I mean, even Billie warmed up to him rather quickly! And listen to this: during lunchtime today, my little sunshine did the cutest thing where he—”

“ _Ashton_ , for the love of god,” Calum groans. “As much as I just love hearing stories about the adorable things that Billie does, we’re running on limited time here and I need you to get your ass down to the studio if this is going to work out.”

“If _what_ is going to work out, exactly? You still haven’t told me about this so-called deal of yours, whatever that means.”

“Okay, so the guys and I were chilling out in the studio and getting ready to write, just like we always do. But then some dude in a fancy business suit shows up, and I don’t know who the fuck he is because I’ve never seen him in my life, but _apparently_ he’s some really big producer. Or, at least one who actually makes good money. Anyway, so he recently just finished making this movie where—”

“Calum, will you just get to the freakin’ point already? While I’m young, please.”

“Well, excuse me,” Calum scoffs. “As I was _trying_ to say, I may or may not have bragged to him about knowing a really good music composer by the name of Ashton Fletcher Irwin, and he may or may not want to hear some of your stuff to decide if he wants you to compose a soundtrack for his film. And as the sweet, kind, and helpful best friend that I am, I may have told him that you’d be able to swing by with a sample within the next hour.”

It takes another moment or two before Ashton finally understands everything that’s going on, and then he’s not quite sure how to feel about it. Excitement? Joy? Panic? Because he’s already beginning to feel anxious about possibly not being good enough for this supposedly “big” producer, or that he won’t make it to the studio in Downtown Los Angeles in time. Either way, he knows that he has to at least try. These type of opportunities don’t come often, so he’d be a giant fool not to take a chance.

“Wow, I… really don’t know what to say.”

Calum laughs easily, then his voice trails off as he greets someone in the background. When he speaks again, the excitement has returned in his tone.

“You can thank me after you get the job! You _will_ show up, won’t you? He says he’s got places to be, things to do. He won’t be here forever.”

Ashton finally snaps out of his daze and begins aimlessly pacing around the kitchen, his thoughts flowing faster by the second.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there! Try to keep him there for as long as you can, alright? I have to handle a couple of things, grab a sample, and then I’ll be on my way!”

“Alright, I’ll do whatever I can. But you better hurry, you and I both know that I’m not the best at stalling.”

They end the call at the same time, and Ashton doesn’t waste another moment. He powerwalks back into the family room where Luke and the children are still playing together, and though he feels really bad for what he’s about to ask from the other man, he knows that it must be done.

“Hey Luke, can I speak with you for a moment?”

Luke nods and stands up without question. “Sure thing.”

Before he can even take more than two steps, Lillie begins to whine.

“But daddy, it’s Lukey’s turn to take one of the blocks!” she says, pointing to the game of Jenga that they’ve just begun to play.

“Then I promise not to keep him for long,” Ashton reassures her.

“Billie can take my turn for now,” Luke suggests, “so why don’t you and Annie show him how to play, alright?”

The twins agree to this plan without further argument, and begin to show their baby brother how to carefully pull off one of the blocks. Now that that’s been taken care of, Ashton leads Luke into the kitchen, and he can’t help the smile on his face when the first thing that he says is:

“Lukey? Is that the nickname they’ve settled on, or have people always called you that?”

Luke’s laugh is just as bashful as his smile, and he shrugs at the question.

“I don’t know, they randomly started to call me that so I’ve basically accepted my fate,” he says, and then sighs dramatically. “But no, I can’t recall anyone else calling me Lukey before. Although, my… my dad used to call me Lewi, for some reason I’ll never know.”

Ashton honest to god _cackles_. “Lewi! Now _that’s_ adorable.”

In the midst of his laughter, Ashton suddenly remembers that he’s supposed to be in a rush right now. So, he ceases with the teasing even though Luke doesn’t seem to mind it one bit, and is actually laughing _with_ him.

“Anyway, I needed to speak with you because something has come up and… well, I really didn’t _want_ to have to leave you alone on your first day, but there’s just no way around it.”

Ashton pauses to make sure that Luke is still with him, and when he doesn’t find a trace of confusion on the other’s face, he moves on.

“You see, I have this friend who’s in the music business just like me, except that he writes songs for famous pop singers like Ariana Grande and whoever else the young people are into these days. Anyway, he met a producer today who just might hire me to compose the soundtrack for his new film! Well, if he decides that I’m talented enough.”

After hearing that last bit, Luke gasps and claps his hands together excitedly.

“Ashton, that’s wonderful! This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it? Your big break?”

“It’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for, and that’s why I really can’t pass up the opportunity. Still, I don’t want to overwhelm you by making you watch the kids on your very first day. So if you want, I can just bring them with me or have someone else—”

Luke shakes his head and rests a hand on Ashton’s shoulder. “Ash, come on. Watching children is my _job_ , you don’t have to worry about me! I mean, what kind of nanny would I be if I couldn’t handle a few hours of playing with dolls and watching Spongebob Squarepants? I really don’t mind, and I’m not just saying that because Spongebob happens to be my favorite cartoon. So go on and do what you need to do, I’ve got things covered here.”

Perhaps those words are just what Ashton needs to hear in this moment, because he feels a great weight being lifted from his shoulders that has nothing to do with Luke removing his hand. Right now, he feels as if things really will be okay. He’s not alone anymore, Luke is here to help.

“Luke, you are a saint,” he says, sighing with relief. “Thank you so much for understanding. Now before I leave, I want to make sure that I’m not just leaving you in the dark. I had a few things planned out and there are some rules to go over, so are you ready to hear them?”

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Alright, so the girls know all of the rules and shouldn’t give you any trouble, but just in case, you should know that they’re not allowed to go outside without adult supervision. Pretty standard, right? But the thing is, if you decide to let them play in the backyard, just make sure that they keep away from the pink rose bushes along the side of the house. They belonged to my wife, and I don’t want them to get ruined.

“Also, I was going to make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight, but it doesn’t look like I’ll make it back in time. If you know how to cook spaghetti, you’re welcome to give a shot—in fact, I’ll send you a link to the recipe that I always follow. Oh, and I should probably warn you that Lillie is a very picky eater. The only thing that she loves to eat are fruits such as bananas and grapes, which makes it difficult to ensure that she gets the right amount of grains and protein and whatnot. So if she tries to say that she’s too full to eat another bite, I can tell you now that she’s most likely fooling you. Just keep an eye on her and you should be fine. Annie, on the other hand, likes eating most things except for raisins, and Billie is… well, he’s a baby so he’ll eat the typical things that one year olds eat. Got all that?”

As if making a mental list inside of his head, Luke nods to everything that Ashton says as he’s explaining them. Once Ashton has finished, Luke nods twice in a row to show that he’s got it all memorized in the nanny hard drive located in his brain.

“Got it. Anything else?”

Ashton gives him a nervous smile. “Wish me luck?”

Luke, however, leans back against the kitchen island and chuckles.

“I have a feeling that you won’t even need it. Good luck, though. I know you’ll do great.”

Those words of encouragement are more than enough to make Ashton feel confident in himself. He stops wasting time in the kitchen and explains to the girls that he’ll be back later in the evening, so for the time being, Luke is in charge. Afterwards, Ashton rushes up to his office to pick out a sample of one of his best soundtracks, and when he thinks that he’s chosen the best one, his legs carry him back downstairs and to the front door.

“So you remember the rules, right?” he asks as he quickly tugs on a jacket.

Luke nods. “I do.”

“And you have the schedule that I gave to you so that you’ll know when it’s dinner time, bath time, and bed time?”

“Yep. Memorized it when you gave it to me last week, but I’ll make sure to double check.”

“Good, good. And are you sure that you can handle this—?”

“Ashton, I can promise you that the world won’t end in the few hours that you’ll be gone. Okay?”

“Right,” Ashton laughs, albeit nervously. “Okay.”

Just before he leaves, Luke gently squeezes his arm and tells him that he can and will do this. That kind and selfless gesture is all that it takes for Ashton to believe it, too. He’s going to get this job and nothing will stand in his way.

***

Ashton doesn’t get back home until a quarter to nine. It’s largely due to heavy traffic along the highway leading out of Downtown Los Angeles, but also partly due to the fact that he actually _did it_. He managed to get the job and the film producer, Mr. Fischer, liked him so much that he offered to buy Ashton a drink and continue their discussion in a more relaxed setting. Thankfully, he took no offense when Ashton declined the offer and explained that he needed to get back home as soon as possible, and now here he is, home at last.

The house is unusually silent when Ashton steps through the front door, which is surprising because the girls still have half an hour to play before bedtime. It’s only when he enters the family room that he’s able to understand the silence. He finds the cutest sight of all: his daughters curled up on the sofa on either sides of Luke, fast asleep while the Spongebob Squarepants movie plays on the television. Luke glances up from his phone when he notices Ashton enter the room, and a welcoming smile instantly makes its way onto his face.

“Welcome back,” he whispers just loud enough for Ashton to hear, but still quietly enough so that he won’t awaken the girls.

Ashton easily returns the smile and carefully lifts up the white box in his hands.

“I brought cake. Want a slice?”

That’s essentially what leads Luke to wiggle out of the twins’ embrace and stand up from the sofa to follow Ashton into the kitchen. Ashton sets the cake box down in the middle of the kitchen island and retrieves a couple of plates, forks, and a knife for them to cut it with. It’s just a plain, white two-layered cake with buttermilk frosting, since Ashton has yet to discover what flavor of cake Luke enjoys. But he seems to have made a wise decision, because Luke hums with delight as the first forkful touches his tongue.

“So how was everything here? It doesn’t seem like you ran into any problems.”

“Nope, no problems at all,” Luke confirms. He licks a bit of frosting from his bottom lip and grins. “We played Jenga for _ages_ , and then I tried out the spaghetti recipe that you linked to me. It must have turned out pretty nicely, since the girls didn’t complain and neither did Billie. They helped me clean up after that, and then I put Billie to bed a little early because he kept falling asleep on my chest. Afterwards, I put Spongebob on and the girls ended up falling asleep halfway through it. So to sum it up, I guess I’d say that things went perfectly.”

Ashton listens to all of that in pure amazement. The twins actually _helped_ him clean up after dinner? Lillie didn’t throw a fit about having to eat spaghetti and meatballs? It sounds a little too good to be true, but Ashton can tell that Luke isn’t lying. He has no reason to lie, after all. Therefore, the only plausible explanation is that he really is the super nanny that Ashton has been dreaming of hiring.

“How did it go at the studio?” Luke asks, just like Ashton figured that he would.

Not wanting to make a huge deal out of it because he’s always been the modest type, Ashton merely shrugs and raises the fork to his lips again. Just before taking a bite of the sweet cake, he answers casually:

“It went pretty well, I think.”

Luke arches his brows. “You think?”

“Yeah.” Ashton glances up at him and smiles. “I got the job.”

For a moment it looks as if Luke is ready to give a loud cheer, but at the last second, he remembers that Lillie and Annie are still sleeping in the other room. So instead of cheering loudly, he grins from ear to ear and holds up his palm for a high-five, which Ashton gladly delivers.

“I knew that you would,” he says afterwards, licking his fork clean. “Didn’t doubt it for a second.”

That humble, borderline insecure side of Ashton begins to flare up again, and he takes a moment to close the box of cake and store it within the refrigerator before replying to those words.

“Pretty optimistic for someone who’s only heard a sample of my work.”

Luke only shrugs and leans against the counter. “Well, I know good music when I hear it, and you just so happen to be a musical genius.”

The sincere compliment brings a blush to Ashton’s cheeks, and he takes those words to heart. He’s pretty sure that he hasn’t done anything to deserve such kindness from someone who doesn’t owe him anything, but he can’t deny that it’s a pleasant feeling. Luke is still watching him with those piercing blue eyes, but they aren’t intimidating and they don’t make Ashton want to look away. Instead, they make him feel validated, in a strange sort of way.

“Thank you,” he mutters.

Luke responds by smiling again and he finally breaks eye contact, looking down at the empty plate with scattered crumbs and frosting residue.

“There’s something that I’d like to ask you about, but I’m not sure if it’s in my place to do so.”

That immediately gets Ashton’s attention again, and though he begins to frown, he nods because his curiosity never fails to get the best of him.

“What is it?”

“Feel free to tell me if I should just mind my own business,” Luke blurts out, and then he pauses to think about how to word the question. “But it’s about your wife. I was just wondering… what happened to her?”

“Her name was Charlotte and she passed away,” Ashton answers without hesitation. “She got really sick with viral pneumonia when she was pregnant with Billie and it weakened her a great deal. She’d never been the strongest person where physical health was concerned, so it ended up taking her life during labor. We almost lost Billie as well.”

A short moment of silence stretches between them, a reaction that Ashton is used to by now. It’s not the first, the second, nor the third time that he’s explained this to anyone and it no longer pains him to talk about it. In fact, he’s at a point where he doesn’t feel anything at all when speaking about it. Nothing except the tiny slither of guilt that never seems to fade away no matter how much time goes by. Even so, it doesn’t mean that he _likes_ talking about it, either.

“I’m sorry,” Luke eventually tells him, and that’s what they always say. “I know that I probably shouldn’t have asked, it’s just that the girls talk about her as if she’s just… gone away for a while, so I assumed that you were divorced but it didn’t make sense because you still wear your wedding ring, but uh, yeah. I’ll just stop talking now.”

There’s only one part of Luke’s nervous rambling that Ashton actually pays attention to.

“Wait, they’ve talked to you about her? Lillie and Annie?”

“A little bit, yeah,” Luke answers. “They said that when she comes back, they’re going to introduce me to her… I wouldn’t be too alarmed, though. Most children at their age have a really vague understanding of death. Sometimes they don’t understand that it’s a permanent thing and they usually see it as something that happens to other people, without realizing that someday it’ll happen to them, too.”

All of this comes as a total surprise to Ashton. Before now, he had no idea that this is how his daughters have been dealing with the death of their mother for the past year, probably because he never took the time to sit with them and explain the situation in depth. He’s been too busy focusing on his own mourning and using his work to distract himself every day, not realizing that his girls need him now more than ever.

It’s no wonder that they blame him for their mother’s absence, especially since Ashton hasn’t given them any reason not to.

“I suppose this makes me a pretty bad father,” Ashton mutters, though mainly to himself.

Luke apparently does not agree with that. “What are you talking about? Ashton, nothing could be further from the truth.”

“Luke,” Ashton sighs, shaking his head. “While I do appreciate your kindness, you can’t possibly know if you’ve only been here for one day…”

“Exactly. I’ve been here just one day and so far, you’ve shown nothing but the fiercest love, care, and protection for all three of your children. Now tell me, how exactly does that make you a terrible father in the slightest?”

Of course Ashton’s natural instinct is to argue and exemplify self-deprecation, but he also knows that it’s a ridiculous thing to argue about in the first place. If anything, he should be honored and grateful that Luke thinks he’s better than he actually is. He should take the compliment just because it’s the polite thing to do, even if he disagrees with it. It doesn’t make any sense to try and prove that he is all the bad things that he sees himself as, so for now, he doesn’t say anything at all.

Luke takes Ashton’s silence as acceptance, which explains why he gives Ashton that signature smile and says:

“Just give it some time. I know that things have been tough, but soon enough, you’ll believe in yourself as much as I believe in you now.”

***

Later in the night, Ashton is awakened by the sound of Billie’s cries coming through the baby monitor. Being exhausted from the day’s events, he tells himself that it’s just a dream and that the crying will stop eventually, just because he really doesn’t want to get out of bed. But the universe clearly isn’t on his side, and the crying doesn’t come to an end until Ashton is completely awake with no hope of going back to sleep anytime soon.

“Alright, Billie, alright,” he groans into the pillow, willing his legs to move. “Daddy’ll be there in a sec. Just… please, please stop crying.”

Knowing that he doesn’t have any other choice, Ashton drags himself out of bed and groans a second time when he sees that it’s just past three in the morning. His alarm is set to wake him up in less than four hours so that he’ll have a chance to go for his morning jog, which is something that he hasn’t done since before Mrs. S quit on him. Now that Luke has taken her place, Ashton can return to his normal schedule. Early morning jogs at least three times a week is at the top of his to-do list.

That is, if he isn’t too exhausted to get out of bed when he needs to, all thanks to Billie. It isn’t really his fault, though. The doctors claim that it’s normal for infants to begin having night terrors at this stage, so all that Ashton can do is deal with it for now.

A big yawn escapes Ashton’s mouth as he trudges down the long hallway, feeling as if there are weights tied to his ankles and slowing him down. Since he isn’t really thinking of much besides his desire to go back to sleep, he doesn’t notice that he can no longer hear his son’s crying. He also pays no attention to the soft voice that has replaced the crying, a _soothing_ voice that is quietly singing the words to an all too familiar song. Ashton doesn’t process any of this until he reaches the doorway to the nursery, where he discovers that the problem has already been attended to.

Inside the room, he finds Luke standing over the crib with Billie in his arms and gentle words pouring from his lips. The detail that amazes Ashton most is the way that Billie is staring up into Luke’s eyes and Luke is looking right back at him, as if they’re sharing some sort of mutual connection that cannot be explained by words. But it’s clear that there’s a mutual understanding between them, it’s clear that Billie feels safe and comfortable in Luke’s arms, and most of all, it’s clear that Luke’s affection for Ashton’s son stems from the bottom of his heart. Not his job title.

Luke sings in a voice as smooth as honey, _“Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can’t help falling in love with you_. _”_

It’s as if Luke’s singing has a magical effect to it. Billie starts to close his eyes and without so much as another sniffle, he’s out like a light. Luke continues humming softly and gently rocking Billie in his arms just in case, but it appears that he’s already drifting into another deep sleep.

“I had no idea that you were an Elvis fan,” Ashton speaks up, revealing himself at last.

Luke instantly whips his head towards the doorway, startled at the sudden appearance of a third person. As the shock wears down, he starts to look embarrassed upon realizing that he was being watched and listened to the whole time. Ashton doesn’t understand what’s so embarrassing about singing a baby to sleep, especially when you’ve got a voice as beautiful as _that_.

“Kind of, I guess,” he mumbles so as to not wake the sleeping infant in his arms. “It was just the first song that I thought of and it seemed to be working, so I just went with it…”

Ashton giggles quietly and enters the nursery. “Relax, I’m not trying to tease you. You have a very lovely voice, by the way. Now I understand why you love to sing, you’re obviously good at it.”

Even in the dark room, Ashton can see that Luke visibly blushes. They smile at each other before directing their attention to Billie, who yawns adorably but shows no signs of waking up again, thank goodness. To ensure that it remains this way, Luke carefully places him back in the crib and exits the nursery with Ashton following behind.

“I’m sorry that he disturbed your sleep,” Ashton whispers after shutting the door behind him. “He’s been having a lot of night terrors lately, and he often wakes up scared and confused. I assure you that it doesn’t happen every night, though.”

Luke chuckles suddenly. “If you’re worried that I’ll quit because of a crying baby, you’re gravely mistaken.”

“Right, right. Because you’re the super nanny. Got it,” Ashton teases.

Both of them laugh this time, filling the silent hallway with the sound of their joy. But there isn’t much to say after that, and since it’s still three in the morning and both of them are obviously eager to get back to sleep, they bid each other farewell for now.

“Well, I better get back to bed while I still can,” Ashton says, and he covers his mouth as another yawn escapes him. “So I guess this is goodnight. Again.”

“Alright. Goodnight to you, too.”

Luke waves at him as Ashton awkwardly walks backwards down the hallway, his eyes still trained on Luke’s form standing in front of the nursery. Once back in his own room, exhaustion overtakes Ashton as soon as his body crashes into the soft mattress on his bed, and he falls asleep to the soothing tune of Elvis still on his mind.

***

Eventually, Ashton decides that he would like to celebrate the wonderful opportunity that he’s been given. And since it’s mainly thanks to Calum, he invites his friends over to his home for drinks and the chance to watch the soccer game on his flat screen television. While Ashton has never been one for watching sports, he figures that it’s the easiest way to get Michael and Calum to drop everything that they’re doing and rearrange their schedules, just to come over for beer and soccer.

They show up not long before the game is supposed to start, and since Ashton is still in the kitchen preparing his homemade guacamole dip, Luke answers the door with Billie propped up on his hip and a welcoming smile on his face.

“Hello! You must be the Cliffords. I’m Luke Hemmings, the nanny of the home. You can just call me Luke, if you’d like. It’s a great pleasure to finally meet the both of you, though I haven’t heard much. Ah, forgive me for rambling—please, come in!”

Surprised by the level of formality that they’re greeted with, Michael and Calum can only stare back at Luke with their mouths hanging open. At least, Luke assumes that that’s the reason for their rather delayed reaction to his greeting. He mentally berates himself for being so awkward when he just wants to make a good first impression. These are his employer’s best friends, after all. They need to like him at least a little bit, otherwise it’ll always be awkward and uncomfortable whenever they visit.

At last, the one with the platinum blond hair leans over and mutters to the other, “You owe me twenty bucks,” before stepping through the doorway.

The dark haired fellow follows right behind him, allowing Luke to shut the door.

“I owe you nothing, now stop being so rude,” grumbles the dark haired one. Suddenly, he turns to Luke and smiles politely. “Please excuse our bad manners. I’m Calum, and this is my husband, Michael.”

“Hey,” says Michael, and he takes Luke’s free hand and gives it a firm shake. He seems to study Luke for several seconds before finally letting loosening his grasp and letting the hand go. Then, he smirks. “I knew it.”

Luke raises an eyebrow in confusion. “Um. Excuse me?”

“It’s nothing,” Calum blurts out, waving a hand dismissively. “Just… an inside joke of sorts.”

“Cal made a bet that you would be an old dude. Like, really old, but I knew that Ash wouldn’t hire some old fart to look after his kids, y’know?”

Calum groans and pinches the bridge of his nose, appearing both frustrated and embarrassed that his husband would casually admit something like that. On the other hand, Luke doesn’t really know how to respond, so he stands there awkwardly while Michael pesters Calum about the twenty bucks he owes him for being wrong about Luke, and Calum pleads for Michael to shut his mouth because Luke is literally standing right there.

Finally, Luke clears his throat and lets out an equally as awkward laugh.

“Thanks, I think?”

Michael snickers and nudges Calum in the side. “See? I told you that he wouldn’t be offended.”

“Whatever. I’m done with your nonsense.” The irritated look on Calum’s face suddenly shifts into one of pure adoration when his chocolate brown eyes land on the baby that Luke is still holding. “Well hi there, Billie Joe! Remember me? Your uncle Calum? My, my, you’ve gotten so big!”

It seems that Billie does remember the man to some extent, because he begins smiling and doesn’t protest when Luke hands him over. Calum pretends that the baby weighs a ton by huffing and puffing as he hoists Billie into the air, and Billie giggles in the most adorable way that warms Luke’s heart.

“I’ve missed you too, bug,” he murmurs while peppering kisses over Billie’s cheeks.

The commotion in the foyer doesn’t go unnoticed, and soon enough, the twins come running towards them while yelling excitedly:

“Uncle Mikey! Uncle Cal!”

Since Calum’s arms are currently occupied, Michael scoops both girls up in his arms and spins them around, laughing just as much as they are because he’s equally as happy to see them. When he puts them down again, they move over to hug Calum’s legs as a way of greeting him, too.

“Uncle Mikey!” Lillie gasps, hopping up and down excitedly, “Are you gonna sleep over? Are you?”

Michael laughs and smooths down some of her wild curls.

“Afraid not, Lils. Not this time. But we are staying for dinner, and hey, maybe we can draw another picture together! Would you like that?”

“Mhm! Mhm!”

“Annie,” Calum says, getting her attention. “Where’s your daddy hiding, hm?”

“Here I am.”

Ashton appears from around the corner with a sheepish grin, and his plan to remain low-key about the whole thing is ruined when his friends begin cheering for him as if he’s walking down the red carpet. It’s silly because he hasn’t even _started_ on the project yet, but they’re congratulating him as if the film has already won several awards all thanks to his superior composing skills. Regardless, Ashton feels incredibly grateful to have the constant support of his old friends.

“Alright, alright. Stop hooting and give me my hugs,” he tells them.

“You asked for it!” Michael says just before pulling Ashton into the tightest bear-hug. He’s always had a pension for overdoing things, so Ashton expects no less from him even now. Instead, he hugs Michael just as tightly before letting go at the same time.

“Proud of you,” Calum says, and now that it’s his turn, he pulls Ashton into a much gentler hug. Not just because he is Michael’s mellow counterpart, but also because he’s still holding Billie in one arm. When he pulls away, he kisses Ashton’s cheek and musses his hair, which is _absurd_ because Ashton is the eldest and should be doing that to him instead. Calum’s joy is contagious though, so Ashton can’t even whine about his messed up hair.

They move the conversation into the family room since the soccer game will be starting in just five minutes. Michael plops down into one of the arm chairs that he claims has the comfiest cushion in the world, while Calum and Ashton sit on either sides of the sofa. Not wanting to miss out on a single second of their uncles’ visit, Lillie and Annie lie on the carpet and busy themselves with a coloring book, since they’re obviously not interested in soccer.

In contrast, Billie gets to sit on Calum’s lap and doesn’t appear to have any qualms about that. And why would he? Billie adores Calum about as much as Calum adores him, and watching Calum speak to Billie while playfully poking him in the tummy to make him laugh, Ashton can tell that he’s beyond ready to adopt a baby of his own. Thing is, Calum doesn’t seem to think so, and neither does Michael. It makes sense; both of them are only twenty-five years old, and though they’ve been together for a total of ten years, having a child of their own is on a whole other level of responsibility. And since they’ve been married for just a couple of years now, they still have to get used to the new status of their relationship before jumping into parenthood.

“Hey, Ash,” Calum says all of a sudden. “When in the world are you going to get these kids a dog? No one deserves to grow up without a little puppy to keep them company from time to time.”

“Or a cat,” Michael chimes in.

“As if. I say that Billie is a dog person. Aren’t you, Billie?” Calum gently pokes Billie in the tummy to get a response, and when the baby smiles up at him, he takes it as a confirmation. “See? I know a dog person when I see one. It’s my sixth sense.”

Michael rolls his eyes and stuffs another guacamole covered tortilla chip in his mouth.

“Bullshit. People can like both cats and dogs, or even neither.”

“Language, Michael,” Ashton reminds him. Since the girls are in earshot, his strict no-swearing rule still applies.

“Shit, sorry. I mean, dammit. Fuck, wait—”

Ashton exhales the most dramatic sigh while Calum laughs so hard that he probably nearly pisses himself. Leave it to Michael to screw up _that_ badly, but on the plus side, it doesn’t look as if the girls heard the brief exchange. Lillie and Annie are currently discussing which colors to use on whatever it is that they’re scribbling, and that’s a relief. Ashton, like any other parent, doesn’t want them repeating such words.

“Anyway, I just don’t think they’re ready for a dog yet,” he explains, answering Calum’s question from earlier. “Someday soon, perhaps. But now’s not the best time for such a big responsibility.”

“Fair enough,” Calum says, nodding, and he doesn’t prod any further. Like Michael, he knows just how difficult the past year has been on Ashton and the kids. While a family pet might bring a bit of fun and joy around the house, it can also bring about the opposite. For now, adopting a dog will have to remain on hold.

Luke joins them in the family room a moment later carrying the pack of beers that Ashton had bought for this very occasion. He hands a bottle to each of them and smiles when they kindly thank him, then he sets the remainder of the bottles on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

“Can I get you anything else?” he asks, and glancing down at the already half empty bowl of chips, he adds, “More chips, maybe?”

While it’s very kind of him to offer to refill the chips bowl, nowhere in the contract does it state that he has to serve _Ashton’s_ guests. That’s why Ashton gently grabs him by the wrist when he bends down to pick up the bowl anyway, since no one answered him quickly enough. Luke looks down at the hand around his wrist and then his eyes glance over at Ashton, obviously feeling confused.

Ashton chuckles and says, “It’s fine, Luke, you don’t have to do anything else. You’re a nanny, not a servant.”

“Why don’t you watch the game with us?” Calum suggests. “It’s just about to start so you haven’t missed a thing.”

“I don’t know,” Luke starts to say, sounding just as uncertain as he looks. “I just put the lasagna in the oven and I’ll have to periodically check on it. I don’t want to accidentally forget because I’m distracted by the game…”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of it,” Ashton insists. He tugs Luke closer to the sofa until Luke gets the picture and sits down in between Ashton and Calum, right where he belongs.

“Are… Are you sure?” Luke asks, but before he can say anything else, Ashton nods and reassures him.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I mean, I don’t even _like_ watching sports to begin with, so it wouldn’t make a difference to me if I missed something.”

While at first it looks as if Luke will argue, he quickly settles down and accepts the break that he’s been given. After all, his primary tasks include taking care of the children, cooking for them, and cleaning up after them. Since all of the children are currently in the same room and Ashton isn’t too busy to do those things, then there isn’t anything left for Luke to do at this moment.

Michael reaches for one of the extra beers on the coffee table and leans over to hand it to Luke, who stares at it for a moment before glancing to his side Ashton, and then back at the beer in Michael’s hand. Finally, he shakes his head and gives Michael an apologetic smile.

“I really shouldn’t drink on the job, but thank you.”

Michael snorts. “One beer shouldn’t be a problem unless you’re the lightest weight of all. Or, do you mean you shouldn’t as in your boss won’t let you?” Before Luke can answer that, Michael directs his attention to Ashton. “Dude, don’t be cruel. Let the guy have a beer!”

“Yeah, let ‘em have a beer,” Calum agrees.

Before the two of them start chanting “beer” as if they were all back in university again, Ashton raises his hands to get them to quiet down.

“Alright, alright, don’t start a riot,” he says, rolling his eyes. He then turns to Luke. “Well, since you’re technically not on the job right now, you can have a drink if you’d like one. I really don’t mind. Honestly.”

Luke visibly relaxes, now that he has Ashton’s permission to consume alcohol. Obviously, most employers prefer it if the nanny neither drinks nor smokes, especially around the children, but since Ashton trusts Luke and it’s not as if they’re drinking hard liquor, he really doesn’t see the harm in it.

“Maybe just one, then,” Luke says at last. He accepts the beer from Michael and clinks the bottle against Ashton’s when prompted, just before taking a sip and leaning back to get more comfortable.

After that, everything is perfect. The soccer game begins between two teams whose names Ashton keeps forgetting, but he likes the red and orange colors of the team that quickly gains the lead. He hardly pays any attention to it, though. He mainly listens to the in-depth conversation that Luke and Calum have about the teams currently on the field, and it surprises him just how much Luke knows about the sport. It’s plain to see that he’s a big soccer fan, and Ashton listens because he enjoys finding out new things about Luke. Why? Well, because Luke is a part of the Irwin family now.

Despite also being Luke’s employer first and foremost, Ashton has always strove to have a deeper relationship with the nannies. He finds that it builds a more secure level of trust between them, and it also makes interactions much more pleasurable. It’s one of the reasons that he prefers to be called by his first name instead of Mr. Irwin; it feels less like living with an employee and more like living with a good friend who helps him care for the children and the house. He hopes that over time, he will reach this ideal type of relationship with Luke.

Remembering that there’s food cooking in the oven, Ashton eventually excuses himself and disappears into the kitchen. He finds that the lasagna is perfectly done on the outside as well as the inside, so he puts on a couple of mittens and removes it from the oven to cool down. He’s too distracted by the lovely aroma that fills his nostrils to notice the sound of footsteps entering the kitchen, until he looks up and finds Michael with the empty bowl of chips in his hands and an expectant look on his face.

Ashton laughs, but he points to the pantry anyway so that his friend knows where the bag of chips are.

“You’ll spoil your appetite with all those chips,” Ashton warns him.

Even so, Michael continues his task of refilling the empty bowl with salty tortilla chips.

“Thanks for the advice, dad,” Michael says, just to tease him.

Ashton predicted such an answer, having known Michael since high school, so he isn’t bothered by the teasing and simply rolls his eyes. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that his friend is an actual adult and not the loud, occasionally obnoxious teenager with the ridiculous fringe that Ashton used to know. But although Michael is a lot more mature nowadays, he still has his moments where it seems as if he hasn’t changed at all. And he honestly hasn’t, at least not too much. He has a way of making Ashton feel young again and it’s only one of the many reasons that Ashton keeps him around these days.

“So,” Michael starts off a little louder than necessary, and Ashton already knows that he’s about to say something rather unwanted. Starting off his sentence with that word is how it always begins without fail, so Ashton turns away from the lasagna with his eyebrows raised high on his forehead. Now that he has Ashton’s full attention, Michael continues: “Luke seems pretty nice. Where’d you find ‘em?”

Having no expected it to be about Luke, it takes Ashton a brief moment to come up with an appropriate response.

“Oh. Well, I stumbled across his profile on the usual website that I use to search for nannies,” he answers casually. “Why?”

Michael shrugs nonchalantly and bites into another chip. “Just curious.”

Ashton also knows that Michael is never “just curious” about anything, despite what he says. Therefore, such an answer only raises Ashton’s suspicion and he crosses both arms over his chest before attempting to nag the true reason out of his friend.

“No, it’s something else,” he says slowly, and when Michael only crunches on another chip instead of denying it, Ashton knows that he’s right. “Okay, what is it? You know that I hate guessing games, just tell me what it is that you’re thinking.”

Unfortunately, Michael chooses now to let that annoying teenage side of himself resurface. Instead of answering Ashton immediately, he forces him to wait by simply standing there and humming a random tune while eating more chips. Ashton has a mind to reach out and snatch the bowl away from him, just to get an answer and stop this foolishness.

Finally, Michael says, “I was just thinking of how he’s the total opposite of Mrs. S, y’know? Young, funny, really nice, but also really hot—don’t tell Calum I said that—and the kids seem fond of him, too. Obviously that’s what’s most important, a nanny that the kids adore.”

“I suppose all of that’s true,” Ashton mutters. Still, he doesn’t understand what Michael is getting at, so he adds, “But what’s your point?”

“I never said that I had one, it’s just that he kind of reminds me of Charlotte.”

If not for the fact that Ashton is already leaning back against the counter, he would have recoiled from such a statement. His feelings on the matter must be visible on his face, because Michael ignores the chip in between his fingers and looks as if he’s ready to retract his statement in case he has unknowingly angered Ashton. But Ashton isn’t angry, per se—actually, he doesn’t really know how to feel right now. He’s just certain that Michael is wrong.

“What are you talking about?” he asks, frowning more from confusion instead of anger. “He’s nothing like Charlotte, and whatever it is that you’re trying to get at by saying this, maybe you should reconsider it.”

For whatever reason, Michael rolls his eyes and sighs with exasperation.

“Ash, _c’mon_. You can’t tell me that you don’t see a single ounce of resemblance between them. I mean, it’s almost uncanny,” he argues, and even when Ashton turns away to pretend to examine the lasagna once more, Michael doesn’t drop the subject. “Think about it: blond hair, blue eyes, cute haircut and a thin build? The guy looks as if he could’ve been her long lost brother or some shit like that.”

“Stop swearing,” Ashton grumbles, blatantly ignoring the rest of what has been said.

“The girls can’t hear us from in here,” Michael points out. “Don’t try to change the subject. And I’m not trying to, like, antagonize you or anything so you don’t have to sound so grumpy. I’m just wondering if that’s why you chose him, because he reminds you of Charlotte.”

Ashton groans and whirls around to face him again. “That isn’t why I chose him and he doesn’t remind me of her! I mean, do you honestly think that I would stoop so low as to try and replace my wife with a nanny who just so happens to share some of her physical features, which I hadn’t even _thought of_ until you brought it up? That’s ridiculous, Mike.”

Realizing that he’s definitely struck a nerve, Michael finally relents and the stubborn look on his face switches to one that’s much more apologetic.

“Okay, you win. Sorry for bringing it up and for going all… Dr. Phil on you just now.” He adds that last bit to try and be funny, and when Ashton can’t help but chuckle quietly, Michael smiles. “But you know that I’m just looking out for you, right? And that I want you to be happy? I know that this past year has been _hell_ and you’ve been dealing with it in the best way that you can for yourself and your family, but Ashton, you’re only twenty-seven. And if someday you decide that you’re ready to get out there and mingle, just know that it’s not too late! You’re still young, y’know?”

While Ashton thinks that Michael is trying to be encouraging by saying all of that, whatever any of _that_ means, it’s clear that he’s implying one thing and one thing only. And since Ashton has figured out what that thing is, he gasps before he can stop himself.

“Michael Gordon Clifford, are you insinuating that I would…” Ashton pauses and lowers his voice significantly before continuing, “ _fuck_ the nanny? Seriously? This is real life, Michael, not one of the many pornos that you’ve watched.”

Michael snorts. “And what do you think that porn is based off of? Real life scenarios! Well, mostly. Anyway, don’t sound so repulsed. I know that blondes are your type and you were watching Luke more than you were watching the TV.”

“That’s because I don’t even _like_ soccer,” Ashton says, grumbling like a petulant child.

“Hah! So you don’t deny staring at him, then? Because you think that he’s cute?”

“ _Michael_.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop, but only because I love you and I’m not looking to get a black eye.”

Michael takes a moment to add a few more chips to the bowl before taking it into both hands and moving towards the exit. However, Ashton isn’t done with this conversation despite knowing that he should be relieved that it’s over. He isn’t though, and that’s why just before Michael leaves for good, he speaks up again.

“It’s not going to happen despite what you’re thinking,” Ashton says, but even he knows that he doesn’t sound as sure as he should. “I mean, sure, I can admit that Luke is… _cute_ , as you so put it, but I’m not that desperate and I do have certain morals. Also, he’s probably not even into men.”

In an unexpected twist of events, Michael bursts out laughing so hard that he starts to choke on the chip in his mouth. Luckily he manages to swallow it down, because Ashton isn’t sure that he’d be able to perform the Heimlich maneuver quickly enough to save his friend’s life.

Michael glances over his shoulder and says with a smirk, “Dude, he’s fucking gay.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Ashton questions. “And don’t say that it’s because he’s a nanny. That’s no different than saying that all male nurses are gay, just because it’s a job usually held by women.”

“Duh. It’s obviously not because he’s a nanny,” Michael scoffs. “Unlike you, I’m just choosing to use my gaydar. And you know what my gaydar tells me? It tells me that I’m right and that the angelic Luke Hemmings is totally into cock.”

Ashton grimaces at such vulgar language. “Not only is that completely untrue, but I’m pretty sure that it’s also offensive. Gaydars don’t exist.”

“Whatever,” Michael says with a sigh. “If you know that I’m wrong then why continue arguing? Anyway, I’ve got a game to watch so don’t wait up.”

He leaves before Ashton can think of an appropriate comeback, which really isn’t good. You see, Ashton is the type of person to argue on and on until he gets his point across. He argues until he’s proven right or he’s proven wrong, but since Michael no longer wants to play this game, he leaves Ashton to argue with himself on the subject.

It’s absolutely pointless, though. No matter what Luke’s sexuality may or may not be, it’s none of Ashton’s business because that would be unprofessional. Luke is his _employee_ and even thinking about possibly doing certain things with him is beyond immoral, so Ashton shakes his head and tries forcing himself to forget all that Michael has said to him.

If one thing’s for sure, it’s easier said than done.

Michael and Calum leave shortly after dinner since Calum has to get to work early the next morning. Lillie and Annie are sad to see them leave so soon, because it’s been a while since the both of them have visited the Irwin household. However, the girls cheer up again as soon as Michael promises to bring ice cream and Obi Wan (his and Calum’s pug) over the next time that they visit.

Once plenty of hugs and farewells have been exchanged, Calum has Luke’s number in his phone so that they can talk more about soccer sometime, and Ashton has given them the leftover food because he knows that the kids won’t eat it, Michael and Calum leave at last—but not before Michael gives Ashton a suggestive wink and a glance in Luke’s direction, hinting at their unpleasant conversation from much earlier. Ashton only responds by rolling his eyes and hoping that Luke hasn’t noticed a thing.

Later on in the night, after putting both Billie and the girls to bed, Luke comes back downstairs to help Ashton with the task of cleaning everything up, despite how many times Ashton tells him that he doesn’t have to. Luke is quite persistent when it comes to helping others, though. It’s a trait that Ashton can relate to, so he stops resisting and lets Luke do as he pleases.

However, it’s kind of awkward being around him like this, now that Ashton can’t stop thinking of what Michael had said. He tries his best to put it behind him because this whole thing really is _ridiculous_. So what if Luke is handsome? Ashton can recognize a person’s beauty without being sexually attracted to them. And even if Luke _is_ into men, it doesn’t mean that he’d ever be into _Ashton_ , specifically.

Besides, Ashton doesn’t even know if he himself is into men! While it’s true that he has slept with one before, it occurred long ago during his early university days before he got back together with Charlotte. Ever since then, he’s seen it as a “phase” because, well, doesn’t everyone experiment while they’re young and curious? Or, perhaps he’s only referring to it as a phase because he’s been afraid to admit the truth all this time, and the truth is that his attraction to the same gender is still there. He only attempted to bury it because back then, he hadn’t known that there were more than two sexualities to identify with; although he supposes that he should’ve known, since Michael is the proudest bisexual man that Ashton knows.

For now, Ashton shakes those thoughts from his mind and decides that they’re not welcome. He has enough to deal with as it is and a sexuality crisis wouldn’t be helping him in the slightest, especially since it wouldn’t be much of a crisis in the first place. He knows the truth and that’s that, he accepts it and he’s moving on.

“They were even nicer than I had imagined,” Luke says out of nowhere.

Ashton snaps out of it and pauses his hand movements. Upon noticing that he’s been scrubbing the same plate for the past few minutes at least, he rinses it beneath the hot water and sets it aside to dry with the others. Then, he glances over to where Luke is currently wiping down the kitchen table.

“Sorry, what?”

“Your friends?” Luke specifies, grinning. “They were really nice to me. I admit that I was a little nervous when you announced that they would be visiting, but after sitting down and talking with them, I decided that I really like them.” He pauses. “Do you think that they like me, too?”

“Of course they like you,” Ashton says, smiling back at him. He returns his gaze to the sink and begins washing the silverware. “More than you know it.”

Luke hums before falling silent again. For a little while, the only sound within the kitchen is running water and silverware clinking together, but it doesn’t last for long. Soon enough, Luke makes another attempt at sparking up a conversation.

“How long have the three of you been friends? Um, if you don’t mind me asking.”

“Since high school,” Ashton replies with ease. “I met Michael at a party, but we didn’t become friends until I started working at his dad’s hardware store over one summer. He’d come in sometimes and we’d talk, probably because he was bored and I was the only young person working there, but we got along nicely, I guess.”

“What about Calum?”

“Calum came along soon after that. He and Michael have known each other since they were about… seven or eight years old, I think. They were already dating by the time that I befriended them, so it became natural for the three of us to hang out sometimes. But we attended different schools back then, so we didn’t become as close as we are now until university. I had taken a gap year, so they weren’t too far behind.”

“Wow,” Luke murmurs, sounding truly amazed. And it’s odd, because Ashton doesn’t see how it can possibly be that interesting. “It’s no wonder that the bond between the three of you is as strong as it is. You’ve practically been together for half of your lives already!”

Ashton chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, I suppose so.”

“But Michael and Calum,” Luke goes on, “What they have together is even more unique… I mean, how often do people end up marrying the person that they’ve been close friends with since childhood? They must be soulmates for sure.”

“Soulmates?” Ashton laughs again. “You believe in such a thing?”

“Of course!” Luke answers without hesitation. “I know that it probably seems silly, but… well, I really do believe in them. Heh, I guess it’s one of the perks of being someone who works with children for a living? Like, I have to have a vivid imagination to communicate with them, and sometimes that includes believing in things that can never be proven as real. And no, I’m not talking about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny.”

Ashton laughs once more and turns the faucet off, having finished with the last of the silverware. He dries his hands on the towel on the counter beside him and turns to face Luke, who is already looking back at him with the cutest little grin from having made Ashton laugh. For the slightest second, Ashton thinks that his heart skips a beat in his chest, but he passes it off as the possible oncoming of heartburn.

“So you really do think that soulmates exist?”

“I really do, and I believe that everyone has one.”

“I see. Well, I envy your optimism,” Ashton jokes, though in truth, it’s only half a joke.

“Optimism?” Luke puts a hand on his hip and tilts his head in a way that almost makes him appear sassy, and he clearly takes issue with the so-called joke and Ashton’s pessimism. “Let me guess, you don’t believe that you have a soulmate somewhere out there just waiting for you.”

Ashton shrugs. “Maybe I did at some point, but she’s gone now.”

All at once, the playful sass disappears from Luke’s posture and his tone, and now he looks as if he wants to apologize but doesn’t know how. This sudden change of attitude confuses Ashton at first, until he realizes the weight of what he’s just said. To his own ears, he’s only stating the facts as casually as he knows how; but Luke, who can’t possibly know Ashton’s inner feelings on the matter, probably thinks that he has just brought up something painful that shouldn’t be talked about. Ashton doesn’t get a chance to tell him that it’s okay, he hasn’t accidentally stepped on any toes, because Luke already starts speaking again.

“You know,” Luke says, speaking quickly out of nervousness, “some people believe that many of us have more than just one soulmate, and even more people believe that the concept of soulmates isn’t always romantic in nature. Actually, it’s entirely possible that we all have many soulmates! Romantic soulmates, platonic soulmates such as friends and family members…”

He tails off then and spends the next few seconds trying to think of what else to say while scratching the back of his head. Maybe Ashton thinks that it’s kind of cute, in a strange sort of _Luke_ way, so he takes pity on the guy and laughs again.

“Thanks for the reassurance, but I promise that I’m not as lonely as I look. Nowadays, I like to think of myself as being… married to my work.”

Luke seems to relax a bit, now that he knows he hasn’t offended Ashton in any way. Even so, he still sounds a tad shy when he replies.

“Well, maybe someday someone else will come along, someone who will bring you just as much happiness as you felt before.”

Ashton highly doubts that anything like that will ever happen to him, but he knows that Luke has good intentions. And since Ashton doesn’t want to be pitied and he _hates_ to be a Debbie Downer, he smiles and doesn’t argue with that notion. He decides that it’s worth it, once Luke smiles back at him.

* * *

 


	2. Nanny of the Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thanks for all of the kind feedback given to me yesterday! I hope that you enjoy this chapter, and I'd like to upload the last chapter tomorrow, if I can.

* * *

The first month with Luke as the nanny goes by in a flash, and it’s the easiest month that Ashton has had in a very, very long time.

Luke is able to cook, clean, take the girls back and forth from their weekly ballet lessons, and keep Billie entertained throughout the day all with a smile on his face. That’s where the primary difference between him and Mrs. S comes into play. While the older woman is very good at her job and the kids adored her immensely, she has a no-bullshit type of attitude that includes not feigning the way that she really feels. In other words, she doesn’t sugarcoat things and she let it be known whenever she was in a particularly foul mood.

Luke, on the other hand, is even sweeter than sugar and he treats the children as if they were his own, all while still respecting Ashton’s overall authority. His friendly personality is one of the many reasons that Ashton likes him, aside from his dashing good looks and witty humor. It’s not at all bothersome to be around him and he always volunteers to help out even when he doesn’t need to. To put it simply, he really is the perfect nanny that the Irwin family has needed all along.

Or, so Ashton thought.

It happens on just another ordinary Monday, except not really, because today is the first day that Ashton meets with the director and producer of the film that he’ll be composing a soundtrack for. He’s been preparing for this day for the past week, hoping to look his best and to sound as professional as he actually _isn’t_. It’s not too late for them to decide that he’s not up to par and replace him with someone else, so it’s important that he makes a good impression that goes far beyond the one that he made last month with just the producer as his audience.

By some miracle, it goes even better than Ashton had hoped for. After introductions and other formalities, they spend a little over an hour discussing the musical needs for the film. Once all of that is finished, they schedule the next meeting for the upcoming spotting session, which will require Ashton to watch the film with the director and a few others to determine where the music should play during each segment of the film. Since today’s meeting only took half the time that Ashton had originally expected, he’s excited that he gets to go home early and tell Luke all about the good news.

That’s another thing that Ashton really likes about the new nanny. Luke genuinely cares about Ashton’s success and it’s not just because of the fact that Ashton provides him with a source of income and a beautiful place to live. No, that definitely isn’t it. In fact, Luke never turns down an opportunity to listen to Ashton talk about his music or even just music in general, and he always reacts positively when Ashton comes up with something new. Now that the feature film has been shot and is in the editing process, Ashton will have the opportunity to challenge himself and work even harder than he ever has, and he just knows that Luke will cheer him on.

It’s just past lunchtime when Ashton pulls into the garage and quickly hops out of the car. He’s so distracted by his own excitement that he doesn’t notice the other car missing from its spot, nor does he notice the eerie silence when he enters the home. At least, not until he calls out and is met with further silence, aside from his own echo.

“I’m home!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, but he doesn’t receive a reply.

Confused, Ashton goes over the schedule in his mind. It’s half past two in the afternoon, meaning that Billie should be napping at the moment. The girls don’t have their lesson until tomorrow, so there’s no reason that they shouldn’t be around, either. From where Ashton stands, he can see that the backyard is empty, and even if they were outside playing in the grass, he would have heard his children’s laughter from inside the home. Come to think of it, Luke would have greeted him by now, too.

Now, the most logical thing would be not to panic. However, since Ashton isn’t the most logical person in the world, _panicking_ is exactly what he does. His children are nowhere to be seen and the nanny is missing as well, which obviously means that the absolute worst has happened. Ashton thinks about the fact that he lives in a rather large home in a wealthy neighborhood, so what if someone came along and tried to break in? No offense to Luke, but he’s a pretty thin guy who doesn’t look as if he could possibly hold his own against someone with ill intentions, and so it isn’t farfetched to believe that he could be easily overpowered.

All of this makes sense to Ashton while he’s in panicky father mode. The only explanation is that a burglar has invaded his home, captured his children and their nanny, and now they’re going to be held hostage until Ashton hands over the amount of money that is demanded of him. If not, then his family will be destroyed—he’ll have _nothing_ left.

Ashton curses under his breath and quickly grabs his cellphone from his pocket. He briefly struggles between dialing 911 and dialing Luke’s number, just in case he’s wrong and everything is actually fine. But then, why wouldn’t they be home if everything really _is_ okay? Maybe Billie choked on his food or Lillie hurt herself while jumping off her bed again, despite how many times Ashton has told her not to do such a dangerous thing. This would leave Luke no choice but to rush them to the hospital, but surely he would have left Ashton a message, right? Unless it was _bad_ , like, really bad, and he hadn’t even thought of doing so yet.

Just before Ashton is sure that he’s going to explode from the suspense, his ears pick up the sound of the garage opening and closing soon afterward. A few seconds later, the door to the house is opened and his entire body is filled with relief when he hears the sound of his children. His relief amplifies when they come into sight, and thankfully, it doesn’t look as if anyone has been hurt.

“Daddy!” shouts both Lillie and Annie. They run over to him for a quick hug and they’ve got the widest grins on their faces, for some reason.

“Hey! You’re home early.” Luke greets him with a smile that matches the twins’. He hoists Billie up further on his hip and Ashton is grateful to find that his baby boy looks perfectly fine, too.

Before Ashton can answer that—he’s still partially in shock, mind you—Lillie tugs on his arm to get his attention again.

“Daddy, guess where we went today!” she says, bouncing up and down.

“Guess! Guess!” Annie tells him, mimicking her twin’s movements.

“I… have no idea,” Ashton admits, and he wills himself to calm down, now that there’s no reason to panic. “Where _did_ you go, exactly? As far as I’m aware, there wasn’t any need for you to leave the house today…”

“To the park!” Lillie shouts instead of waiting for his guess. “Lukey took us to the park and I got to go down a really big slide! Three times!”

“We played on the swings, too,” Annie says, speaking in a tone that suggests that this detail is _very_ important to add.

Despite the amount of cuteness in front of him, Ashton can’t help the anger that begins to rise within. He may not have the greatest memory, but he’s damn sure that he never scheduled a random trip to the park in the middle of the afternoon. Clearly, this means that Luke is the one who has deviated from the schedule that he’s supposed to follow each day, and if there’s one thing that Ashton doesn’t like, it’s deviants.

“Luke,” he says, trying his best to keep his voice steady despite the anger that he feels. He wouldn’t want to cause a scene in front of the children. “Can I speak with you in the kitchen for a moment?”

Ashton doesn’t wait for an answer. He turns around and marches in the direction of the kitchen, and he can’t help feeling naïve for believing that Luke couldn’t possibly mess anything up. After all, every nanny that he’s had so far proved that they just weren’t up for the task. Belinda was more of a witch instead of a loving nanny, Mrs. S abandoned them in the blink of an eye, and now Luke has disobeyed Ashton’s orders, which obviously means that he doesn’t respect his boss’ authority as much as Ashton had originally thought. He’s not sure how he’s going to deal with this, but it’s hard to focus when he just feels so… _betrayed_.

It doesn’t take long for Luke to join him in the kitchen, after setting Billie down somewhere and making sure that the girls have neatly hung their jackets in the coat closet. He must be able to sense that something is definitely wrong here, because he doesn’t enter the kitchen with his usual smile and seems to be a bit confused.

In the end, Ashton decides to give it to him straight.

“You took them to the park,” he points out. He figures that it’s best to start with letting Luke know what he’s done wrong. “You took them to the park, when I’m pretty sure that nowhere on the schedule does it say to do such a thing. I mean, unless I just have terrible memory, but I’m absolutely _positive_ that it doesn’t say that anywhere on the schedule that I gave to you.”

The confused look on Luke’s face instantly changes to one of nervousness, and now that he realizes that he’s in trouble, he chews on his bottom lip for a moment and attempts to weasel his way out of this one. At least, that’s how Ashton sees it.

“I did,” he admits, “and no, the schedule didn’t say anything about visiting the park, but… well, the girls seemed really bored even when I let them play in the backyard and Billie wasn’t tired because of the long morning nap that he’d taken. I figured that an hour at the park would give the girls something to do while also taking care of Billie’s pent up energy.”

While it’s not a bad reason to take a trip to the park, Ashton is still quite angry.

“It doesn’t change the fact that you disobeyed me. You didn’t even think to call and ask me or at least leave a note on the kitchen table. Have you any idea how worried I was, coming home to an empty house? I mean, what was I supposed to think? My children were nowhere to be found and neither was the nanny—hell, anything could have happened!”

Ashton doesn’t notice that he begins to raise his voice until Luke visibly flinches at his words. Now that he’s said everything that he had wanted to say and his vision isn’t so blinded by his own anger, he’s able to realize that he’s probably being a bit too harsh. He also realizes that he doesn’t enjoy yelling at Luke, especially since the guy almost resembles a child being scolded for misbehaving. At the moment, Luke has his hands clasped in front of him and his head is bowed so that Ashton can’t really see his face, but he suddenly looks so _small_ and _young_ that it makes Ashton feel guilty for the way that he’s reacting.

Eventually, Luke mutters, “I’m really, really sorry, Ashton. I-I didn’t mean to make you worried, and you’re right, I could have called but I didn’t even think about it, since I thought that you wouldn’t be home until later and I never thought that you’d mind—and I know that that isn’t a good excuse, either. Actually, I was being really stupid to think otherwise and I _swear_ to you that it won’t happen again, honestly.”

His rambling sounds as genuine as the look in his eyes, when he finally glances up to meet Ashton’s intense gaze. All of a sudden, it’s as if every ounce of anger seeps from Ashton’s body. He can tell that Luke truly regrets his actions and his apology is sincere, so there’s no reason to hold it against him. Still, it looks as if he anticipates that Ashton is considering firing him on the spot, and of course that’s far from the truth. Despite his anger, Ashton really had no intention of doing such a thing.

The only thing that Ashton feels now is emotional exhaustion. In just ten minutes or so, he’s gone from being excited to frightened beyond his control, to angry, and now he feels a strange mixture of guilty and tired. So, so tired. He lets out a long sigh and takes a seat in one of the chairs at the table, then gestures for Luke to do the same. It takes a moment, but eventually Luke sits down in the chair next to Ashton’s.

“It’s fine. I’m not angry with you anymore,” he says, truthfully. “I was at first, but now I realize that I was just overreacting and I shouldn’t have been so harsh with you, especially since… you were only doing what you thought was right.”

Luke is quick to shake his head. “No, no, you have every right to be upset with me! After all, I did disobey you and cause you to worry for no reason. I mean, obviously you did have a reason to be worried and that’s valid, but it was all for nothing and for that I’m sorry… again.”

“You’re right, but I still shouldn’t have yelled at you and for that I’m just as sorry.” Ashton exhales another sigh and subconsciously begins twisting the ring on his finger, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. “You see, I have this… thing. I like to be in control of what goes on when it comes to my life and the life of my children, and when I came back to an empty house and no idea where everyone had gone, it made me feel like I didn’t have control over _anything_ and I just felt… helpless, you know? Regardless, I never meant to become such an overbearing control freak.”

Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder, and when Ashton looks up again, he’s met with that comforting smile that he’s grown rather fond of over the past month. Seeing Luke smile like this again, Ashton didn’t realize how much he missed it in the few minutes that it had been replaced by a sad frown. He hopes that he’ll never again be the cause of it.

“Ashton, it’s perfectly normal to be worried about your children,” Luke tells him. He glances down before adding, “Um, and I hope that I’m not overstepping my boundaries again by saying this, but I also think that it would be good if the children had a chance to get out more? Because like, the only time that Lillie and Annie actually leave the house is when I’m taking them to and from their ballet lessons. Even Billie would benefit from getting some fresh air once in a while. Again, I don’t want to tell you how to raise your kids, it’s just that it’s important for their development if they left the nest every now and then.”

Ashton takes a moment to think of what Luke says, even though he already knows that the other man is right. Ever since losing Charlotte, he’s had this irrational fear that if he doesn’t keep his children as close as possible and have knowledge of where they are at every hour of everyday, then the same thing will happen all over again. To sedate this fear, he’s kept them in the house for the most part and hardly ever takes them anywhere else. It’s no wonder that they got so excited about going to the park, since they’ve probably been feeling trapped at home.

For the second time, Ashton feels like the most terrible father in the world.

“Ah, I’m sorry. You probably didn’t want to hear any of that,” Luke blurts out, mistaking Ashton’s silence for rejection. “I know that it’s hardly any of my business, so I’ll just… yeah.”

When he starts to pull his hand away, Ashton reaches out and grasps it with his own.

“No, no, you’re absolutely right! Really, you are. And because I trust your judgement, I’m open to any ideas that you may have. What do you think that I should do to make them feel… like they have more freedom?”

Realizing that he’s been accepted after all, the smile returns to Luke’s face and he nods to show that he’ll help.

“Well, I think that as long as they’re allowed to leave the house a few times a week, then anywhere is fine.”

“I see, I see. So you mean, like, letting them take walks around the neighborhood with you?”

“Uh… not _exactly_ , but that’s definitely a start. I was thinking of some place a little further, though. Like the park. They really did have a great time today, and… I may or may not have promised that I’d take them again soon?”

Naturally, Ashton’s first instinct is to argue with that, but he quickly changes his mind and decides to suck it up. The park isn’t a terrible place to for them to be, not when they have Luke there to watch them and keep them safe. So even if Ashton has the urge to check this park out himself and make sure that it really is safe for his kids, he decides against it. He really does trust Luke’s judgement and he swears that he’s going to change for the better.

“No problem,” Ashton says, feigning confidence with a wide grin. “In fact, you can take them whenever you’d like! As long as it doesn’t interfere with the girls’ ballet lessons, I’m fine with that.”

“Great!” Luke exclaims, clapping his hands together once. “Then I have another idea that you just might like…”

***

As it turns out, Luke’s brilliant idea ends up being a visit to the aquarium over the weekend. Apparently, Lillie and Annie are really into sea creatures and it comes as a total surprise to Ashton. Long ago, he brought home a pet fish for them to have because fish require far less attention than dogs, but the thing ended up dying after only two weeks. He can’t blame the girls for that one, though. He didn’t want them accidentally knocking the fishbowl over, so he made sure to put it somewhere out of their reach. Of course, this meant that they couldn’t feed the fish and Ashton simply… forgot to do it sometimes.

Anyway, the girls never really cared about the fish that much, so it comes as a surprise when Luke asks to take them to the aquarium since they’ve been wanting to go for quite some time now. They’re probably just excited to see the really huge fish and other things like sting rays, and since this will be a good experience for them to learn something as well, Ashton goes ahead and buys a few of the tickets online. Just three tickets, because Billie gets in free as an infant and Ashton doesn’t plan on joining them.

Ashton has a deadline to meet, after all. He needs to concentrate on creating the greatest soundtrack that he’s ever created so far, and that means spending all night in his office if he needs to. At least he can relax, knowing that Luke will text him with occasional updates of the trip so that he knows it’s going well.

Just before they leave with Luke, Ashton makes sure to go over the rules with his daughters one more time.

“Make sure that you don’t wander away from Luke, and absolutely no talking to strangers, alright?”

Lillie and Annie nod obediently as they quickly slide on their shoes, clearly eager to get going so that they can see the really big fish. But while they’re filled with excitement, Ashton is filled with nervousness. He’s anticipating that something will go wrong somehow, and now he kind of regrets not going with them in case they’ll need his help.

“Oh, and most of all, don’t stand too close to any of the fish tanks. Understand?”

The girls nod for a second time, though their compliance doesn’t ease Ashton’s worry in the slightest. Children have a way of forgetting all that they’ve been taught when they’re distracted by something shiny or something new, so he can’t expect them to remember a single word that he’s saying right now. That’s why he pulls Luke to the side once the girls skip merrily down the driveway to get into the car that awaits them.

“I’ve told them the rules, but you know how they can be sometimes. Keep a close eye on them for me?”

Sensing Ashton’s nervousness, Luke tries giving him a reassuring smile.

“Of course. I won’t let them out of my sight, so you don’t have to worry about a thing,” he says, then looks to the baby in his arms. “We’re gonna have lots and lots of fun today! Aren’t we, Billie?”

Billie ignores those words in favor of tugging at the grey beanie on Luke’s head, determined to remove it. Luke only laughs and hands the car keys to Billie to distract him for now, and it works like a charm. Ashton wishes that it was just as easily for him to be distracted, maybe then he wouldn’t have to worry so much.

“You have his stroller in the trunk already?”

“Check.”

“And his diaper bag, too?”

“Double check.”

“Okay. What about snacks for the girls? They might get hungry during the trip and I wouldn’t want their little tummies aching—”

“Ashton.”

“Right, right. You can buy them lunch at the aquarium.” Ashton chuckles nervously and runs his fingers through his curly hair, willing himself to calm down for once in his life. “Sorry, I’ve just never done this before.”

Again, Luke gives him a reassuring smile.

“It’s okay, you’re making progress and that’s what matters most. I know it’s tough, but you’ll get used to it over time.”

“Yeah, I… I hope so.” Ashton takes a deep breath and slowly exhales it. To his luck, it actually calms him a little bit. “Anyway, you should get going. I’ll have my phone near me at all times if you need anything, so don’t hesitate to call.”

“I won’t,” Luke says, and then he’s walking off to the car with Billie still in his arms.

A few minutes later, Ashton is staring out of the window and watching the car as it disappears down the road. He continues standing there for another minute or two before convincing himself that they’re not just going to suddenly reappear before his eyes, and he’s wasting time by doing nothing. There’s still work to be done and emails to be sent, so he turns away from the window and drags himself in the direction of his office.

“Everything will be fine,” Ashton mutters to himself. Then, he laughs. “Oh my god, it’s just an aquarium! Now stop stressing so much or you’ll have grey hairs by the time that you turn thirty. Yuck.”

But despite his own words of encouragement, Ashton finds himself staring at his bright computer screen an hour later with zero work done. How can he compose beautiful music when he’s so damn worried about his children? Luke hasn’t texted him with an update yet, and every time that Ashton checks his phone, he doesn’t find any new messages. He knows that it doesn’t take _that_ long to get to the aquarium, so what the fuck, Luke?

“I hate this,” he grumbles, letting his face flop down onto the keyboard. Just because he’s always been an overdramatic diva, he repeatedly slams his face against the keys and repeats: “I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.”

Suddenly, Ashton’s temper tantrum is interrupted by the chiming of his phone. He immediately stops abusing his keyboard and picks up the phone at lightning speed to check who it is, and his heart beats a little faster in his chest when he sees that it’s a new picture message from Luke.

The picture is a little dark, but the first thing that he sees is the back of Lillie and Annie’s heads. Both of them are leaning against a vast tank of water because of course they’re already ignoring his rules, but whatever it is that they’re looking at on the other side of the glass, it must be amazing. Below the picture, he finds that Luke has added a caption.

_Safe and sound while looking at jellyfish :-)_

Jellyfish. Of course they’re looking at jellyfish, and now their amazement makes sense. While Ashton starts to type out a reply, he receives another picture but without a caption this time, and that’s because a caption isn’t needed. The new picture shows Billie fast asleep in his baby stroller, causing Ashton to laugh out loud. Honestly, he expects nothing less from his adorable little boy.

The cute pictures manage to soothe Ashton’s mind and his aching heart. Without being weighed down with worry, he’s finally able to concentrate on his work and create the tunes that he needs to for the big film. What’s great is that Luke continues sending him priceless pictures documenting their trip, such as Lillie and Annie excitedly pointing at tiny seahorses, and then doing the same thing with a bunch of clownfish. Luke adds the caption “Finding Nemo lol” when he sends the latter picture, and it puts a smile on Ashton’s face because he can tell that Luke is enjoying the trip as much as the children are.

Now, what turns that smile upside down is the next picture that Luke sends. This time, the girls are standing in front of a tank with a goddamn shark behind them, and Ashton nearly drops his phone when recognizes what it is. Furiously, he replies in caps lock:

_GET THEM AWAY FROM THERE!!!_

Luke replies just a few seconds later.

_Relax, there’s a thick wall of glass between them :P_

_So help me god Luke I am warning you >:(_

Ashton doesn’t receive a new text for quite some time after that, leaving him to sit in his chair while nervously chewing on his fingernails. He knows that Luke is just messing with him because that’s what Luke does, sometimes he can be a little shit—not on the same level as Michael, but not too far from it either. While he claims to be a twenty-two year old adult, sometimes Luke is a lot more like an oversized kid. Yeah, a really smart kid who takes care of the smaller kids and causes Ashton stress by letting his daughters stand in front of a _motherfucking shark tank_.

After what seems like ages but in reality might’ve only been ten or so minutes, Ashton receives another text message. He instantly comes to the conclusion that this picture is the cutest one of all, because it features all four of them standing in front of a painting of a whale. Luke must have gotten someone to take the picture for him so that he could be in it, too.

Within the picture, Luke’s smile is as bright as the sun and he’s holding Billie on one hip, who has his head resting on Luke’s shoulder and a thumb in his mouth because he’s probably still sleepy. Next to them stands Lillie and Annie, who are holding hands and smiling just as wide as Luke. Ashton can’t recall ever seeing them so happy before, especially when made to take a picture. With each second that he continues staring at it, it warms his heart just a little more.

They finally return home just before dinnertime. Ashton has managed to complete a lot of work despite the many distractions, so he spends the rest of their absence making tacos for them to enjoy when they return. It’s the delicious aroma that leads them into the kitchen once they’ve arrived, and Ashton is so happy to see his babies again that he picks the twins up at the same time when they rush over to hug him. As soon as he sets them down again, they begin speaking a mile a minute to tell him all of the fun things that they did. Ashton can only nod along with the biggest smile on his face, feeling happy that his girls are happy, too.

“Also! Also!” Annie shouts, and she pauses for a second to catch her breath before shoving a stuffed octopus in Ashton’s face. “Look what I got! It’s an octopus, see? It’s an octopus because it has eight string legs and that’s what octopuses have.”

Ashton giggles at her reasoning. “String legs. You mean tentacles, sweetie. But that’s wonderful!”

“I got one, too!” Lillie announces, showing Ashton the stuffed dolphin in her hands. “It’s a dolphin and Lukey says that they make this sound.”

Lillie then proceeds to imitate the funny sound that dolphins supposedly make, and though it doesn’t actually sound anything like a real dolphin, she’s far too cute and that cuteness is what deserves an applause. So, Ashton applauds her and revels in the proud grin that she wears afterwards.

“Well then, I’m glad to hear that you had so much fun today, but you must be really hungry! So why don’t you go and wash your hands in the bathroom while I make your plates? Does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah!” they agree, and then they’re dashing from the kitchen at the same time that Luke finally enters the room with Billie, who is holding on to a stuffed shark as if someone plans to steal it from him.

“Something smells really good,” Luke says, sniffing the air and humming in delight.

“That, my friend, is the smell of delicious tacos,” Ashton proudly announces. He approaches them and presses a sweet kiss to Billie’s chubby cheek, giggling when Billie kisses him back. “Did my little sunshine have a fun day at the aquarium?”

Luke says, “I regret to inform you that he fell asleep as soon as we got there _and_ on the way home, so he’ll probably be up late tonight.”

“That’s alright. I bet a bit of warm milk will fix that problem in no time! By the way,” Ashton redirects his attention to Luke. “Where did all of the stuffed animals come from? I know that I gave you enough money to get them some lunch, but toys like these are always so overpriced at those types of places…”

“Ah, no worries. There wasn’t enough change left over from our meal so I bought the toys myself. Aren’t they ridiculously _cute_? This one even lights up when squeezed hard enough. Watch!”

Luke attempts to take the shark from Billie to show Ashton the neat trick, but Billie only seems to tighten his grip and refuses to let go of it, even starting to whine until Luke lets go of the thing and apologizes.

“Okay, looks like that’s not gonna happen. He’s in love with it already,” he says, laughing.

While Ashton has to admit that it really is cute, he feels a bit guilty that Luke had to spend his own money on such things.

“Aw, Luke. You didn’t have to go and do all of this—here, let me pay you back for however much that you spent.”

Ashton quickly reaches into his back pocket and begins to dig out his wallet, but Luke stops him before he can.

“It’s fine, really!” he insists. “They didn’t cost too much, and hey, I’m more than happy to spend a few bucks if it keeps our kids happy.”

Luke freezes as soon as that sentence leaves his mouth, and no less than a second later, he’s scrambling to correct himself.

“I-I mean the kids. _Your_ kids. Um…”

A deep blush quickly spreads along Luke’s cheeks and he laughs, obviously embarrassed. Ashton supposes that he should feel sympathy for the guy and pretend that he hardly noticed the slip up, but to be honest, a flustered Luke is even cuter than the stuffed shark that apparently lights up when you hug it.

That’s why Ashton can only laugh with him.

“Well, you’re not wrong about that,” he says, gazing into Luke’s wide eyes. “Technically speaking, they really are _our_ kids, aren’t they? I mean, I’m their father and you’re their beloved nanny who lets them stand in front of shark tanks—which I totally haven’t forgotten about and I’d very much _love_ to hear an explanation for that.”

It isn’t at all surprising when the embarrassed smile on Luke’s face turns into a sneaky little smirk. Instead of answering Ashton, he spins around and begins quickly making his way out of the kitchen.

“What’s that, Billie? You need a diaper change? Okay, let’s take care of that before num-num times.”

“Luke, get back here!” Ashton calls after him, but Luke is long gone by now. The only thing stopping Ashton from chasing after the silly nanny is that he still hasn’t made the girls’ plates yet, which he promised to do before they returned. Therefore, Ashton simply shakes his head and adds while Luke is still in earshot, “You can’t hide forever, you know!”

Honestly, this is just further proof that Luke really is a kid in the body of an adult. But despite his occasional shenanigans, it’s plain to see that Ashton adores him more and more with each passing day.

That much is the truth.

***

It’s due to the success of the first little field trip that Ashton continues allowing Luke to take the children on various adventures.

Over the next few weeks, Luke takes them to the movies a couple of times, the zoo, the Natural History Museum (suggested by Ashton for educational purposes), and a visit to the park every Saturday afternoon. These activities certainly do keep the children busy, that’s for sure; but most of all, they appear to be as happy and hopeful as all children their age should be. Their happiness is what’s most important, of course.

In contrast, Ashton is about as stressed out as any single parent can be. Well, not _any_ single parent, he supposes. Just the ones who also happen to be composing a soundtrack for an incredibly important film, also known as the biggest job he’s had in his entire adult life so far. He had thought that things would be easier near the end of the project, but he now knows that nothing could be furthest from the truth. Finishing up the last bits of composing is as difficult as it gets, between doing the actual composing and meeting up with The Powers That Be in order to make sure that they’re satisfied with his work. And since sometimes they _aren’t_ satisfied, Ashton returns home with even more stress to fix the bits that they don’t seem to like.

Being as busy and stressed out as he is, Ashton spends most of his days (and nights) within the walls of his office. He’s even started to eat his meals in front of his computer, just to get a few more minutes of work done while he chews on pasta or steak or whatever else is on the evening’s menu. Because of this, he spends even less time with his children than the relatively short amount of time that he was already spending with them before. He’s never been more grateful to have Luke than he is now, though.

Luke has been living with them for nearly two months now, so he has long since adapted to the family routine as well as implemented his own personal touch. This means that Ashton no longer has to guide him or remind him of anything that needs taking care of, which also translates into more work time in the office. And because he’s a total angel, sometimes Luke will bring Ashton a cup of coffee to help him concentrate or remind him to eat something, during the few times that Ashton forgets because he’s so engulfed in his creations.

It’s on a particularly ordinary Sunday when Ashton finds himself in a rut. The letters on his keyboard have melded together and he no longer recognizes the differences in the melodies that he comes up with, which frustrates him to no end. Just when he’s considering banging his head on his desk for the fifth time in a row, there’s a knock on the office door. When he doesn’t answer the first time, a second knock follows the first one.

“No one’s here,” Ashton groans, just loud enough to be heard on the other side of the door. “Ashton is dead forever.”

The door comes open a second later, and Ashton doesn’t need to look up to know who is currently standing in his doorway.

“You know, being as dramatic as you are, I sometimes wonder if you would’ve been a brilliant actor.”

Rolling his eyes, Ashton spins his chair towards the door to tell Luke off for interrupting his work. However, the first word doesn’t make it past his lips when he sees the way that Luke is dressed. At the moment, he’s wearing a pair of dark blue swimming shorts that don’t cover his milky white thighs, but the most interesting detail are the cute little dolphins running down the side of the shorts. A plain black shirt covers his upper half, and a pair of dark sunglasses rests atop his golden blond head. Oh, but he’s also wearing light blue flip-flops that are even more ridiculous than the childish dolphins on his shorts.

But even if Luke looks a little ridiculous, he somehow still manages to look _cute_.

“Why are you wearing all of that?” Ashton asks.

Usually, Luke dresses in a pair of neat denim jeans or black skinnies, comfortable sweaters, cardigans and button-downs, and one time he wore this really nice leather jacket that may or may not have caused Ashton to salivate. Just a little bit.

Luke raises his eyebrows. “I’m taking the kids to the beach today, remember?”

“Oh!” Ashton pauses for several seconds. “No, sorry. I really don’t remember.”

With a sigh, Luke walks into the room and takes a peek at the computer screen, then examines the mess on Ashton’s desk and the empty plate still sitting on the edge where Luke had placed it the previous evening. Then, he looks at Ashton with a frown.

“Ash, when was the last time that you slept?”

“I don’t know, yesterday?”

“Okay… and the last time that you ate anything? Or drank a full bottle of water? Or showered?”

“Luke,” Ashton says, chuckling softly. “You really don’t have to do this. I’m _fine_ , see? And I showered last night, so don’t try to say that I smell because I know for a fact that I don’t, okay, hygiene is _very_ important to me.”

Still, Luke shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. You haven’t taken a real break ever since you started working and I can tell that it’s draining you. Like, physically and mentally, maybe even emotionally.”

“You’re delusional,” Ashton scoffs. He turns the chair to face his computer again, but Luke doesn’t get the hint and stays right where he is.

“No, I’m not. Remember that one episode of Spongebob where he visited Sandy’s treedome for the very first time?”

Honestly, Ashton can’t help but laugh again. “Seriously? You’re referencing Spongebob? While it’s a great show, I think you’ve forgotten that I’m neither Lillie nor Annie.”

“Just listen to me for a sec, okay, because you’re behaving just like Spongebob did in that episode. He wanted to impress Sandy so badly that he didn’t tell her the truth, and it ended up nearly killing him. Now, I’m not saying that you’re literally working yourself to death, but I think that you have to remember that you’re just human. And Spongebob is just a talking sponge… thing. He needs water to survive, and yeah, so do you. But even more than that, you need to take a break and get some fresh air, you know?”

Not only does that lengthy analogy waste even more of Ashton’s time, but it leaves him feeling slightly confused and just as frustrated before. Luke is a stubborn one, though. Almost just as stubborn as Ashton himself, so he knows that the pesky nanny won’t go away until they reach some sort of compromise. And so Ashton sighs, willing himself to be patient.

“What exactly are you trying to tell me, Luke?”

Suddenly, a wide smile graces Luke’s features.

“I want you to come to the beach with us.”

In all honesty, that suggestion is even more ridiculous than anything that Ashton had expected him to say.

“No,” he answers without giving it any thought. He realizes that it’s kind of harsh, especially when Luke’s optimistic smile instantly dies. Shaking his head, Ashton tries to explain. “It’s just that I’m really… busy. Very busy, and while I appreciate the offer, it just won’t work. I’m sorry.”

“But, _Ashton_ ,” Luke whines, and he almost sounds like Lillie and Annie when he does that. “You’ve done so much already! There’s only a week or two before the deadline, right? And I _know_ that you’ll be finished before that, because you’ve been working nonstop! Also, the girls really want you to come with us this time. So does Billie, and he can’t even talk yet.”

Despite how compelling Luke’s argument is, Ashton still shakes his head again.

“Listen, Luke, I just can’t afford to get up and abandon my work, alright? If I could, I would. But I can’t, so I won’t. Please understand that.”

The finality in Ashton’s tone is what ultimately calms Luke’s fighting spirit, forcing him to give up the fight. It’s obvious that he _wants_ to argue further, but he doesn’t because he’s still just the nanny and Ashton is still his boss. So out of respect, he apologizes for disturbing Ashton’s work and then exits the office, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.

As soon as the sound of Luke’s footsteps have disappeared down the hallway, Ashton’s inner self berates him for being such a goddamn _liar_. Luke is right, he has been working nonstop and it’s left him with extra time to spare at least one afternoon of fun with his family.

The only reason that Ashton declined the offer is because, well, he doesn’t really know how to relax. Not fully. And to be honest, he’s kind of afraid to learn how. You see, relaxing leads to thinking and thinking leads to the bad thoughts that are always lurking in the corners of his mind. Ashton doesn’t have time for self-loathing and undying guilt, so he doesn’t relax so that he won’t have to think. Working hard is the opposite of relaxing, so that’s what Ashton does. He works, and he works, and he works some more.

However, everything in life comes with a price. As it turns out, Ashton has worked so hard that he literally _can’t_ anymore. His brain feels fried and his eyes are aching from the strain of staring at his computer screen day and night. As much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he really does need a break. A really, really good break that’ll leave him feeling fresh and re-energized. Again, he doesn’t want to admit it, but going to the beach seems to be his best option right now.

Damning his pride to hell, Ashton jumps up from his chair and dashes from his office. He reaches the top of the staircase just in time to see Luke checking Annie’s little backpack to make sure that she has everything that she’ll be needing at the beach.

“Wait!” he shouts down to them, and all at once, all eyes are on him. Ashton tries to appear casual as he clears his throat and says, “Ten minutes. Give me ten minutes to get ready and I’ll be joining you soon.”

Lillie and Annie instantly begin cheering, while Luke stares up at Ashton with a knowing smile.

At least he doesn’t say _I told you so_.

***

It’s been a few years since the last time that Ashton has visited Santa Monica beach. You’d think that he’d take a trip down here much more often, since it’s only a forty-five minute drive from his home. But between working and raising a family, he doesn’t get out nearly as much as he used to, and he can’t deny that he misses it. He’s had plenty of good memories at this place, too.

Not far from the beach sits the Getty Villa, also known as one of the most beautiful art museums that Ashton has ever visited. Its beauty is precisely the reason that he took Charlotte to the museum on their first date nearly a decade ago. He remembers wanting to impress her more than anything, so during the days leading up to their special date, he’d spent hours learning as much as he could about Greek and Roman artwork. _Hours_. It certainly paid off, though. And then after leaving the museum, they traveled down to the pier and ate lunch while gazing out over the vast blue sea. That day marked the first time that any girl had ever called Ashton smart, aside from his own mother.

The overall area hasn’t changed much since then. Ashton wakes up from his nap when they’re only about ten minutes away from the beach, and even with the windows closed, he can smell the salty ocean from his seat. He yawns twice before he’s sure that he won’t fall asleep again, and it surprises him just how tired he’d been without even realizing it. He won’t admit it, though. Not in front of Luke, who has a hint of a smirk on his face the entire time that he’s driving. No, Ashton refuses to give Luke the satisfaction of being right, because he’s the most stubborn little crab.

It’s the beginning of spring so the beach isn’t nearly as packed as it gets in the midst of summer. Luke chooses a parking spot near the sand and the walking trail, where people ride their bikes and rollerblade during the summer months. Lillie and Annie look as if they’re going to make a run for it as soon as their feet touch the ground, but Ashton ruins those plans when he tells them to stay nearby while he and Luke remove their luggage from the trunk of the car.

Ashton ends up carrying most of their belongings, only because Luke carries Billie and the diaper bag. They let the girls decide on where to set everything up, and luckily they choose a spot not too far from the pier and the bathrooms. While Luke made sure to pack extra clothes for them, it wouldn’t be fun to have to deal with any accidents.

Despite the gorgeous view of the endless ocean in front of them, Ashton’s stomach starts to sink in on itself. The Pacific Ocean is the largest body of water on the entire planet and his children are mere specks of dust compared to it. The waves gently crashing against the sand may sound peaceful, but Ashton knows just how _evil_ they can be for humans, especially mini humans such as children.

Frowning, he says, “It looks pretty deep… maybe a little too deep.”

Luke glances up from where he’s spreading the blanket out on the sand and rearranging their bags. With a totally straight face, he replies:

“Yeah, well, it’s an ocean. Those things tend to be pretty deep. And wet.”

His teasing earns an eye roll from Ashton.

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, smart a— _smarty_ _pants_ ,” he corrects himself, since the girls are standing just a few feet away. In response, Luke sticks out his tongue and grins cheekily, but Ashton doesn’t have time for silly games. “Where are the lifeguards? How do we know if they’re on duty? Are they even watching out for sharks or are we pretty much on our own?”

Luke only shrugs at the numerous questions.

“I don’t know,” he answers, but he’s clearly distracted by the large umbrella he’s attempting to open. “It’ll be fine, I’m sure. We’ll stay in the shallow part of the water and if by some small chance that things go wrong, I should remind you that I know CPR.”

Those words are just a little bit reassuring, but Ashton drops the subject for now and reminds himself that he’s supposed to be _relaxing_. Stressing out over his children’s safety certainly does not fall under the definition of relaxation. He shouldn’t even be worried, lots of parents take their kids to the beach. As long as he keeps an eye on them and stays nearby, everything should be fine. Especially since he’s not alone, he has Luke to help him as always. If Ashton knows anything, it’s that Luke hasn’t failed him yet.

Once everything has been set up and the girls are whining nonstop about wanting to touch the water, Ashton works quickly in applying sunscreen along their bare arms and legs before letting them go at last. They’re screaming with joy as they race each other down to the water, but when Luke stands up from the blanket and attempts to join them, Ashton loudly clears his throat.

“Excuse me,” he says, “but just where do you think that you’re going?”

Luke stares at him in confusion, having no idea what Ashton is getting at until Ashton shakes the bottle of sunscreen in his hand. Then, he laughs.

“I’ll be fine without it, it’s not even that hot.”

“Put the sunscreen on, Luke. It’s better safe than sorry.”

“But—”

“Sunscreen. _Now_ ,” Ashton repeats, and he uses the fatherly tone that he sometimes uses when the girls disobey him. “You may be a super nanny, but you’re definitely not superman so you need to protect yourself.”

It appears that his tone has the same effect on Luke, who sighs but returns to the blanket to do as he’s told. He plops down next to Billie and takes the bottle from Ashton’s hand, even giving a sarcastic smile when Ashton thanks him for cooperating. Just to make sure that he isn’t cheating, Ashton watches him apply the sunscreen along his pale arms and legs, then along the baby smooth skin of his stomach and chest. However, Ashton doesn’t realize that he’s staring a little too hard until Luke catches him looking, and he makes it worse by quickly glancing elsewhere as if it isn’t already too obvious.

“I can’t reach my back,” Luke says a moment later, sighing in frustration. “Can you help?”

Ashton swallows thickly and nods, taking the sunscreen from Luke again and waiting patiently as Luke crawls over to sit in front of him. He squirts a bit of the sunscreen onto his palm and rubs his hands together so that it won’t be cold against Luke’s skin, then gently presses his palms to Luke’s back and begins rubbing.

Now, anyone above the age of twelve should be able to see how suggestive this might look, particularly between two men. It’s not fair that simple things like this feel far more awkward than they should be, all because of the society that they live in and the way that they’re expected to behave because of their gender. But what’s even more unfair is that Ashton can’t possibly fool himself into believing that he isn’t enjoying this.

It’s not his fault, okay, Luke’s skin is just… _really fucking soft_ , almost as soft as Billie’s. He feels nice beneath Ashton’s calloused hands, and it’s a fact that really can’t be overlooked. What makes it worse is that Luke begins humming in pleasure only seconds after Ashton has started, presumably because it feels nice to have his back rubbed like this. It makes Ashton feel slightly guilty for the dark thoughts running through his mind right now, because this really should be an innocent thing.

Still, Ashton is only human.

“You have a lot of freckles,” he says, and he honestly doesn’t know why. The thought comes to mind and he vocalizes it, just because it’s true. Luke’s smooth back is littered with freckles here and there, so many that you could play a game of connect the dots with them, or imagine them as a portrayal of the constellations in the night sky.

Luke hums again but doesn’t actually say anything, so Ashton moves his hands down south and uses his thumbs to rub the sunscreen into Luke’s lower back. This action elicits an actual moan from Luke, a soft and quiet but very real _moan_ that gives Ashton a tingly feeling in a place where he shouldn’t be tingling at all. As if he’s been burned, Ashton instantly snatches his hands away from the area and places them on Luke’s shoulders instead, hoping that his awkwardness has gone unnoticed. He doesn’t spend nearly as much time rubbing the substance on the other man, just in case he accidentally discovers another erogenous zone.

“There. All done,” he says a moment later, and he sighs deeply afterwards as if he’s just performed a task as difficult as open heart surgery.

Luke doesn’t get up, however. At least, not right away. He uncrosses his legs and wiggles around on the blanket until he’s facing Ashton. When their eyes meet, Ashton sees something within those pretty blue ones that he can’t quite decipher. He has a feeling that it won’t be good.

“Your turn now,” Luke announces with a smile.

“Huh?”

“You still need to put some on, right? So, I might as well help you with your back before joining the girls in the water. Now take your shirt off.”

Okay, so Ashton can think of many reasons why it would have been much better for Luke to leave that last sentence out completely. Instead, he ignores the implications behind those five words and does as he’s asked—or rather, _demanded_ of.

Ashton tries as much as possible to casually remove his shirt despite the pair of eyes burning into his skin, and then he awkwardly lies down on his stomach to make the job easier. Next to him, Billie pauses his very important task of chewing on the plastic toy shovel and nudges it towards Ashton’s face, almost like he’s asking if his daddy would like a bite. It’s the only thing that distracts Ashton from the fluttering in his stomach and makes him laugh.

Unfortunately, the fluttery feeling returns in full force as soon as Luke’s hands touch his bare skin. And whether it’s on purpose or not, Luke rubs the sunscreen along Ashton’s back as if he’s actually giving him a relaxing massage. And just how in the world can Ashton complain about that? It feels unbelievably _good_ to the point where he’s entirely convinced that Luke must have worked as a masseuse before he became a nanny, and if not, then he was definitely a great one in his past life.

Somehow, it turns into much more than simply giving each other a helping hand. Luke actually gives Ashton the greatest back massage that he’s probably ever received, and when he tells Ashton to turn over so that he can do the other side, Ashton doesn’t even fucking question it. He rolls over and allows Luke to caress the area over his collarbones, his chest, and his stomach. Obviously, Ashton has two perfectly functioning hands and can certainly reach his own chest and stomach, but at this point, he can’t say for sure that he remembers why they’re doing this in the first place.

Therefore, who knows how much time passes by while Luke is rubbing sunscreen over his torso. Ashton keeps his eyes shut and listens to the nearby sound of the gentle waves, his daughters’ laughter, Billie’s occasional gibberish, and the seagulls that fly past from time to time. He can actually feel all of the built up stress gradually leaving his body, and it’s because he’s letting go of it. He lets go of the stress, his worries, his insecurities and his fears. He lets go of everything and almost falls asleep.

That is, until the magical hands suddenly stop gliding across his body. At first he assumes that Luke is about to apply more sunscreen, but after several seconds have gone by without any further contact, Ashton opens one eye and stares up at the face hovering over his own.

Luke is already staring back at him, and for a moment, Ashton forgets how to breathe. He opens his mouth to say something, but forgets what it was just as soon as he does. It’s because he gets lost in Luke’s eyes, eyes deeper than the ocean but just as mysterious. Ashton is tempted to dive in and discover all that there is to know about a certain Luke Hemmings, but at the same time, he’s afraid to find out and risk having his heart broken again.

So instead, Ashton waits. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak, he only waits.

What Luke does at last is entirely unexpected. The corners of his mouth quirk up into a sneaky little smirk, and all of a sudden he lightly dabs something cold on the very tip of Ashton’s nose. He instantly recognizes it as a bit of the sunscreen, and when he gasps in surprise and betrayal, Luke giggles and scrambles to his feet, running to the water before Ashton can get revenge.

With a heavy sigh, Ashton sits up again and ignores the fact that he kind of wants to laugh. There he was, being naïve and thinking that they were having some sort of deep moment, and he let himself be blinded to the attack. He can’t say that he isn’t relieved, though. He’s not sure what he would have done if Luke had decided to kiss him or something—which is ridiculous to even think about, because Luke obviously doesn’t want to do any such thing.

“Your nanny sure is something else,” Ashton mutters, turning his head to glance down at the baby sitting on the blanket.

Billie takes one look at his face and instantly bursts into giggles. Confused at first, Ashton quickly figures out that he’s laughing because of the smudged sunscreen on his daddy’s nose, because that’s what infants do. They find the most random things to be absolutely hilarious, and to be honest, it’s contagious. Ashton allows himself to giggle as well, then he lies back down and shuts his eyes once more, letting relaxation consume his entire being.

It’s no doubt the greatest decision that he’s made in a very long time.

The rest of their trip goes like this: Ashton plays in the sand with Billie and keeps him entertained while Luke and the twins have a blast down by the water, chasing each other and hopping over small waves when they break against the shore. Eventually, Lillie and Annie demand that Ashton comes and plays with them, and since Luke looks like he definitely needs a break, they switch spots.

Luke and Billie take a quick nap beneath the umbrella, while Ashton walks up and down the beach with the twins, collecting seashells and pretty rocks. They even stumble upon a starfish and spend the next few minutes trying to figure out where the mouth is, until Ashton pulls out his phone and googles the damn thing (as it turns out, the mouth is on the same side as its tube feet).

When Billie wakes up again, Ashton carries him down to the water for the first time. The little man doesn’t mind getting his feet wet at first, but unsurprisingly, he’s absolutely _terrified_ of the noisy waves and throws a fit when Ashton attempts to carry him in deeper. Billie doesn’t stop wailing until they make it back to the blanket and Ashton hands him to Luke, who never fails to get the boy to stop crying with ease. All that he has to do is make that silly face and tickle Billie’s tummy, then his cries are replaced with his adorable laughter.

They eat lunch afterwards because all of them are starving from the day’s events so far. Although there are a few restaurants and fast food places along the pier, Luke has packed a delicious homemade lunch so that the girls can experience an old fashion picnic on the beach. It was a very wise decision, in Ashton’s opinion. Besides, Luke makes the _best_ sandwiches. He even packed a bit of salad for Ashton to enjoy, which is impressive because there was no way of him knowing that Ashton would actually accompany them on the trip. When Ashton mentions this, Luke merely smiles and says that he has great intuition, then takes another bite of his sandwich.

After lunch, Lillie and Annie are more than eager to get back in the water, but Ashton reminds them that it’s vital to wait at least an hour before doing so. They’re obviously not too happy about this decision, but that changes once he suggests that they make a sandcastle instead. It’s then that all of the plastic shovels and buckets finally come in handy, and so the four of them work together in creating something worthy of a group photo around it. Meanwhile, Billie just watches and tries to eat some of the sand, so they try to keep a close eye on him throughout the building process.

In the end, they don’t create a sandcastle but they do create _something_. Lillie calls it a sandswamp, so that’s what they decide to go with. Regardless of their original intents, they’re proud of the sandswamp that they’ve created and Ashton makes sure to take plenty of photos with the disposable camera that Luke brought along. Afterwards, they play in the ocean for another half hour until sunset, when all of them are equally as tired and ready to go home at last.

Once all of their things have been stuffed back into the trunk of the car and the kids are buckled in, Luke moves towards the driver seat but Ashton takes the keys from him and insists on being the one to drive them home. After all, it’s only fair because Luke drove them to the beach in the first place, as well as the fact that today was entirely planned by him. Plus, he looks completely spent, so he deserves another nap.

It comes as no surprise when Billie and the girls have fallen asleep by the time that they get on the highway to take them home, and Ashton assumes that Luke is asleep as well, judging by his silence and his closed eyes. However, about fifteen minutes into the drive, he proves otherwise when he suddenly mutters:

“Thank you.”

Ashton briefly turns his head and finds Luke staring back at him with half-lidded eyes and a tired smile. He has no idea what he’s being thanked for, but he smiles back before refocusing on the road ahead of him.

“For?”

“For coming with us today, obviously,” Luke quietly explains. “I meant what I said earlier, about the girls wanting you to join us. They could hardly contain themselves when you changed your mind. Couldn’t stop smiling, either.”

Hearing that makes Ashton frown. Not because it isn’t good news or he isn’t happy to know this, because he certainly is. It just sounds a little too good to be true. He can’t recall Lillie or Annie asking him to accompany them on any of the other outings they’ve had so far, and he knows for a fact that Luke is much more fun to be around. It’s not a jealousy thing, either—it’s just a fact, and Ashton is good with facts.

“Really?” he asks several seconds later.

Luke nods. “Really.”

In all honesty, Ashton isn’t sure of what to say or think about that. As far as he knows, he hasn’t really given his kids any reason for them to actually _want_ him around when they go fun places. All that he does is worry too much and set too many rules. It’s almost funny, how he used to think of himself as the fun type of dad who understood his children and listened to their wishes and worries, instead of telling them what they should want or worry about. In fact, he wouldn’t blame the girls if they preferred that he _didn’t_ join them.

“They talk about you all the time,” Luke adds. Again, Ashton looks at him but finds no trace of dishonesty in his expression. “They’re always repeating things that you say and when we go places, they usually ask if you’re gonna meet us there. I always tell them maybe, but I’m really glad that I didn’t have to do that this time.”

Getting emotional while driving is never a wise thing to do, but it’s getting increasingly difficult for Ashton to contain himself. Right now, he’s feeling so many emotions that it’s hard to tell which one is strongest. For one, he’s happy that his girls actually think about him and want him around despite all that’s happened in the past year, but he’s also sad that he never would have known any of this if not for Luke. Speaking of Luke, Ashton is so damn grateful to have been blessed with a nanny so thoughtful, so pure, so _loving_ and encouraging and every other good thing that a person can be.

“I should be the one thanking you,” he admits, laughing softly to get rid of the stinging sensation behind his eyes. “I don’t know if you’ve realized it or not, but you’ve done more for this family than I could have ever asked for. You don’t just take care of my kids, you take care of me just as well, so… thank you, Luke. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

It’s far too late to stop the teardrop that manages to escape despite his efforts to hold it all in. And the fact that he’s crying now is laughable, so Ashton chuckles again and quickly uses the back of his hand to wipe the tear from his cheek. Thing is, he actually feels a little better because of it, though. He feels like maybe it isn’t too late to start being there for Lillie, Annie, and Billie. Because they don’t just need him when they’re home, they need him all the time no matter where they are. He’s their father, after all. He must be there for them until the last of his days, which hopefully won’t be for a very long time. However, life has a strange way of taking people long before their time is up, so he needs to start now.

Suddenly, a warm hand covers the top of his own. Ashton glances down at where their hands are touching and then he glances up at Luke again, who is smiling at him as always. But this smile is different from all of the others. It isn’t his bashful smile, his cheeky grin when he’s being mischievous, or the bright, innocent smile that he wears when interacting with the kids. No, this smile means something entirely different. It’s a smile that tells Ashton that he isn’t alone in this. He isn’t alone and Luke believes in him, because Luke will always believe in him.

Even when Luke shuts his eyes again and begins drifting off to sleep, he doesn’t move his hand. Ashton is grateful for that, too. Smiling to himself, he turns his hand over so that he can properly hold Luke’s and cherish the warmth that radiates from it.

He doesn’t let go until they’re safe and sound at home again.

***

The wonderful trip to the beach helps Ashton realize a few things. The first is that Luke had been right all along, he really does work too hard and a short break is exactly what he had needed to get things going again. He’s able to finish up the last of the soundtrack without getting stuck, and it leaves him with plenty of extra time to spend with his family.

Speaking of said family, that’s the second thing that he needs to work on. Kids grow up in the blink of an eye, and it’s a fact that Ashton knows too well. It feels as if only yesterday he was holding Lillie and Annie in his arms for the first time. Tomorrow they’ll be starting Kindergarten and the day after that, they’ll be graduating from college. If he wants to be a part of their lives now, then he needs to prove it. That’s what inspires him to work less and spend more time with his children, along with the reminder that he grew up without a father. It doesn’t mean that they have to grow up without one, too.

On a weekday as ordinary as any other, Ashton sits in the playroom with his daughters instead of in his office. At the moment, they’re having a lavish tea party which requires him to wear a plastic crown and sit in a very small plastic chair. According to Lillie and Annie, he’s the royal queen because everyone knows that queens are the tallest, while the two of them are the royal princesses. Their beloved stuffed bunny, Mr. Fluff, lacks a formal title but he’s still an important figure. Sally the baby doll, however, is just a commoner who enjoys tea parties.

Honestly, Ashton has no idea what’s going on in this imaginary kingdom of theirs, but he has to admit that it’s fun.

“More tea, your majesty?” Lillie asks.

Remembering his _official_ title, Ashton nods politely and smiles at his daughter.

“I’d love some,” he replies in a tone that he hopes is queenly enough.

Lillie picks up the little teapot and pours some of the imaginary tea into Ashton’s tiny teacup. Although he would have let them use water instead, the girls seemed content with using nothing at all, so that’s what they’ve settled on. Having to use his own imagination is actually not that bad, Ashton can definitely get used to these little games.

When the teacup has been “filled” with enough liquid, Ashton thanks her and carefully lifts the cup with his hand. Before he takes an imaginary sip, Annie taps him on the arm all of a sudden, stopping him from going any further.

“You have to put sugar in it…!” she quickly whispers.

Ashton gasps at his own scandalous behavior and presses his palm to his forehead in a forgetful manner, making the girls giggle.

“Oh, silly me! I’ll take two sugar cubes, then.”

Annie gladly picks up two imaginary sugar cubes from one of the empty bowls and adds them to Ashton’s teacup for him. He thanks her kindly and lifts the cup to his lips again, pretending to sip the liquid and humming in delight at the delicious taste. He watches Lillie ask the same question to Sally the Doll, who always accepts more tea without fail. On the other hand, Mr. Fluff simply enjoys eating the sugar cubes by themselves.

A few minutes later while Lillie is pouring yet another round of tea for the guests, she suddenly glances up at Ashton and asks:

“When is mommy coming back?”

Ashton breaks character when he freezes up, caught completely off-guard by the question that seems to come out of nowhere. He looks at both of his daughters and finds them staring back at him with curious eyes, and there’s only one thing that can explain such a look. It’s caused by the blissful ignorance that comes with being an innocent child, and though Ashton would never want to shatter that innocence with the harsh realities that they live in, he also knows that keeping them in the dark about their mother will only make it worse.

Cautiously, he replies, “Um… what do you mean, sweetie? And what brought this on all of a sudden?”

Lillie shrugs in response and merely resumes pouring imaginary tea. When she reaches his cup, Ashton holds his hand over it to prevent her from continuing and repeats the question. This time she understands that the tea party has just been put on hold, and she looks up at him again before answering.

“Mommy always played tea party with us before,” she quietly explains.

“Always,” Annie confirms, nodding.

It makes a bit of sense now. The girls were simply reminded of Charlotte by having this tea party with Ashton, and he doesn’t doubt that his wife had a far better imagination than he does. However, her superior imagination isn’t the reason that Lillie is asking about her now. It’s obvious that the memory of playing pretend with their mother has made the girls miss her more than they usually do, and now that they’ve brought it up, Ashton can no longer avoid the conversation that they’re about to have.

Ashton removes the crown from his head and sets it on the little table in front of him. He takes a moment to run his fingers through his hair and consider his words carefully, not wanting to upset either of them despite the inevitable. When he thinks that he knows exactly what to say, he takes a deep breath and reminds himself to be strong for his children.

“Mommy… passed away last year, remember? And then we went to her funeral to say goodbye to her one last time. Your granny was there, too. So was Auntie Lauren and Uncle Harry. Do you remember when your uncle lost his shoe in the mud and Lauren bought you ice cream after the service?”

Lillie and Annie seem to think on his words for a short moment, and he can’t imagine how difficult it must be for them to understand at this age. According to Luke, toddlers aren’t able to retain the same amount of memories that teenagers and adults do. That’s why it’s so easy for people to remember moments from their adolescent years in comparison to moments from their early childhood. Lillie and Annie are only able to remember simple things that they’ve done over and over again, such as playing tea party with their mother. So even if the day of Charlotte’s funeral has been one of the hardest days for this family, it doesn’t mean that the twins are able to remember many details about it.

At last, Lillie asks with a confused frown, “So she’s not coming back?”

Ashton slowly shakes his head, a sad smile on his face and tears gathering in his eyes already. Somehow, it feels as if he’s finally admitting the truth to himself as well as to his daughters. And now that he’s admitting that Charlotte really isn’t coming back, it feels a lot more real and the fresh pain is almost unbearable.

“Why?” asks Annie, still looking utterly confused. They both are, and Ashton doesn’t blame them.

“Well, because…” Ashton pauses and considers how he can explain this in a language that they’ll understand. It's not as easy as it sounds, but eventually he comes up with an idea. “Do you remember Archie the goldfish?”

Both of the girls nod eagerly, smiling at the memory of the fish they’d had for a solid two weeks.

“You flushed him down the toilet,” Lillie recalls.

“To be with his friends!” Annie says.

Ashton almost cringes, being reminded of the lie that he’d told them at the time. But to be fair, he thought that he was only protecting them from the harsh truth. The truth is that he had forgotten to feed Archie on more than one occasion and it had been during the period right before Mrs. S moved in as the new nanny, which meant that no one else was around to feed Archie, either. As a result, they held Archie’s “funeral” in the bathroom and the girls watched as he flushed the fish down the toilet, though they believed that Archie was alive and well.

It’s time to tell the truth now. So, he clears his throat.

“Yes, well, that’s not entirely the case. I flushed Archie down the toilet because he… he was dead. He wasn’t moving or breathing anymore, so there was nothing left that I could do for him. You see, when something dies, they’re gone for good. It’s the same for people, too. When mommy died, there was… nothing that I could do for her, either. There was nothing that _anyone_ could do, and that’s why she isn’t coming back.”

Once again, it takes a moment for Lillie and Annie to process everything that they’ve been told. But while they no longer look utterly confused, it pains Ashton a great deal to see the sadness and loss of hope within their eyes. They may not understand the technicalities of death or why it happens to people, but they do seem to finally understand the result of a person’s death. They understand that Charlotte isn’t coming back, no matter how much they wish it were so.

“Where did mommy go, then?” Lillie quietly asks.

“Did she go down the toilet with Archie?” Annie asks afterwards.

The young girl’s innocence makes Ashton chuckle, but he shakes his head and says, “No, no. Nothing like that. Where mommy went, I can’t really say… and see, that’s the thing about death. No one knows where people go after they die, but some believe in a nice place up there in the sky. And while I can’t bring mommy back, I can promise that she’s watching over both of you from the clouds.”

“And Billie?” Annie asks.

Ashton nods. “And Billie.”

That’s all that it takes for the tears to begin spilling, and it’s a reaction that Ashton has been waiting for since the very beginning, so he’s more than prepared to comfort his heartbroken flowers. Ashton abandons the tiny chair that he’s sitting in and sits on the floor instead, then opens his arms and accepts his daughters with a warm embrace as soon as they come over and fall into his lap.

This is something that he hadn’t had to do when Charlotte died over a year ago, simply because the girls hadn’t understood things back then. But now that they finally do have an understanding, they let go of all the pain that they’ve been holding in for so long. They let go of the pain, the longing for their mother, as well as the hope that someday she’ll return to them as she once was. As a matter of fact, Ashton also begins to let go of these exact same things.

“Mommy loved the both of you so much. She really did, and she still does,” he whispers through his own tears, rubbing the girls’ shaking backs as they cry against his shoulders. “And it’s okay that you miss her. I know that I miss her, too. So much.”

Annie mumbles something that sounds a lot like, “You do?”

“I do,” he mumbles back to her, then presses a kiss to the top of her head. “I really, really do. She was my best friend… of course, we never played tea party together, but we did have a lot of fun.”

As the crying continues, he holds them even closer and kisses the both of them several times. What makes it most difficult is that he knows the pain won’t magically go away. The pain that they’re feeling isn’t at all physical, so he can’t kiss the wound and put a band-aid on it to help them feel better. They’re not sick, so he can’t rub their aching tummies and give them medicine for their sore throats. All that he can do is hold them like this and wait for the pain to pass over, no matter how long that it takes. After all, he’s their father and he vows to never let them deal with anything like this on their own, ever again.

“You still have me,” he murmurs once their cries have reduced to quiet sniffles. “And I promise that I’m never going to leave you. Ever.”

Lillie leans back just enough to look into his hazel eyes, reddened from crying. She must find whatever it is that she’s looking for in them, because then she holds up her small hand with all of her fingers curled in except for one.

“Pinky promise?” she offers.

In an instant, Ashton is filled with relief to know that she still has her innocence. Despite all that she has faced in her young life already, she still believes in something. Seeing the hope return to his daughter’s eyes, Ashton starts to feel as if the same can happen for him. With a bit of effort, he can eventually believe in himself the way that his children believe in him, too.

That’s why he nods and links his pinky with hers, feeling entirely confident that he’ll be able to keep this promise. Annie holds her pinky up as well but keeps her head resting on Ashton’s shoulder, clearly exhausted from the emotional afternoon that they’ve had. Even so, he links his other pinky with hers and does his best to put on an equally as confident smile.

“I promise.”

***

After having such a difficult and emotional conversation, Ashton decides to cheer the girls up by baking them some cookies. When they ask if they can have ice cream as well, he gives them some of that, too. While he doesn’t usually let them have so much sugar in their diets, he figures that he should have spoiled them like this a long time ago. They deserve to pig out on sweets with their daddy, and to be reminded that even though he’s all that they have left, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Once the cookies have been placed in the oven, Ashton joins his girls at the table and accepts the spoonful of strawberry ice cream that Annie feeds to him. She giggles adorably when some of it gets on his nose, but Ashton doesn’t mind in the slightest. His smile only widens and he accepts the spoonful of chocolate ice cream that Lillie feeds to him afterwards, then kisses her on the cheek as thanks. He leans over and kisses Annie’s cheek as well, then he kisses Lillie again before leaning back over to kiss Annie once more. Ashton feels that if he doesn’t give them as much affection as possible, then he just might lose them someday. Losing his girls is the last thing that he wants, especially since he’s already lost one of them.

Luke returns home with Billie just a few minutes later. As soon as the two of them enter the kitchen, Lillie, Annie, and Ashton begin to cheer. In response, Billie laughs and waves his arms excitedly, having no idea what’s going on but loving the sight of his family in such a happy mood.

“Welcome home, boys!” Ashton says, hopping up from his seat and walking over to them with outstretched arms. Luke hands Billie over to him and Ashton immediately begins peppering sweet kisses to his son’s cheek, hoping that it’ll make up for having missed him all afternoon. “How’s my little sunshine? Did the doctor checkup go well?”

Since the latter question is obviously directed at Luke, he answers, “It went perfectly. In fact, the little munchkin didn’t even cry when he got his shots! I’d say that he’s a true warrior now.”

Ashton gasps, very impressed. “Is that so? Looks like someone just earned himself the biggest cookie!”

Just because he wants to, Ashton peppers Billie’s face with kisses again and enjoys the way that he giggles at each one.

Luke leans over and asks, “By the way, what’s the occasion?”

Ashton raises his brows, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Cookies and ice cream before dinner?” he elaborates, and a knowing grin begins to slowly form. “C’mon, you and I both know that such treats would only be allowed on three occasions: birthdays, holidays, and if the world was ending.”

“That’s… not entirely true,” Ashton huffs indignantly. When all that Luke does is continue smiling at him, he rolls his eyes and says, “I’ll tell you later, alright? For now, take Billie to his highchair while I check on the cookies.”

As always, Luke does as he’s told without further questions. He knows that Ashton will tell him when the time is right, so for now, he takes Billie into his arms again and joins the girls at the table, who are more than happy to have him join them.

***

Later on that night, Ashton sits at the kitchen table with a glass of red wine and a mostly clean conscience. Sharing a drink at night after the kids have gone to bed is something that he and Luke have started doing together recently. It’s nice to have someone to actually talk to, especially since his other friends are usually busy with their own lives and problems. However, Luke is Ashton’s friend now, too. They’ve come to a point where they can comfortably talk about a wide range of things, which is why Ashton doesn’t hesitate in telling Luke about all of the details from earlier that afternoon.

“So how did they take it?” Luke asks, raising his own glass to his lips to take a sip of the dark red liquid.

“Well, they were still very confused at first, just as you said that they would be,” Ashton explains. He smiles, then. “But they took it a lot better than I imagined that they would. Then we… kind of had a bit of a crying session afterwards, but I think that it was good for them to express their sadness.” He pauses and shakes his head. “I mean, _us_. It was good for me, too.”

Hearing Ashton admit his own pain puts the warmest smile on Luke’s face, and reaches across the table to rest his hand on top of Ashton’s. It’s also worth mentioning that they seem to have grown closer in a physical sense as well, though not in a way that would make their relationship unprofessional.

For instance, ever since the ride home from the beach a couple of weeks back, Luke has taken it upon himself to perform little comforting gestures like this. When Ashton is feeling down or worried that his efforts of trying to become a better father aren’t working, Luke will sometimes take him by the hand and look into his eyes while uttering words of reassurance. Other times he’ll gently squeeze Ashton’s arm, rest a hand on the small of his back, and one time he even pulled Ashton into a hug on a particularly bad day. Ashton has to admit that it actually managed to make him feel a bit better, and that it was a really nice hug, too.

What Ashton _won’t_ admit or even acknowledge is the warm feeling that flares up in his belly whenever Luke does things like this. That’s a problem for another day, so for now, Ashton accepts the soft hand atop his own and returns the smile that he’s given.

“That was really brave of you,” Luke tells him. He gives Ashton’s hand a nice squeeze before letting go, and it hardly takes half a second before Ashton begins missing the comforting warmth that it provided him.

He clears his throat and says, “Was it? I mean, that conversation was something that I should’ve had with them a long, long time ago…”

“Maybe. Or, maybe today was as good a time as any. The point is that you did, and you didn’t wait until it was far too late. So really, I think that you should be proud of yourself.”

“I suppose,” Ashton mutters. He twirls the thin glass in his hand and watches the liquid within slush around in circles. “But at the same time, I don’t think that it’s anything to be especially proud of. Parents who gloat about doing the things they’re already _supposed_ to be doing are not good parents.”

Luke hums in agreement. “You’re not wrong about that. Also, that right there is what we need to work on next.”

Ashton frowns. “My… gloating?”

“No, silly!” Luke tips his head back and laughs. When he looks forward again, his expression is that of amusement. “I meant your self-deprecation.”

“My what?” Ashton chuckles at the absurdity of such a statement. “I don’t think that that’ll be necessary, Luke. I’m not self-deprecating.”

Luke snorts and rolls his eyes. “Well of course _you_ would say that. But take it from someone who talks to you every day, okay. You’ve got it bad.”

“I do not.”

“Do too.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh.”

“Dammit, Luke—”

“Hey, no swearing.”

Ashton opens his mouth and closes it again a few times before groaning, annoyed at the teasing and Luke’s subsequent laughter. In truth, he’s not really _that_ annoyed by it. Call him a masochist, but he actually likes it when Luke playfully teases him like this. He likes the casual banter that they’re able to have and he knows that Luke would never tease him about any of his insecurities, just like he’d never tease Luke about any of his. And just like it’s nice to have someone to talk to, it’s equally as nice to have someone who makes him feel like he can be himself.

“It’s fine, you know,” Luke says a minute later. All of the teasing has left his tone and made way for a bit of seriousness. “I mean, I used to be the same way, especially when I was a teenager. Like, I was insecure about so many things; my weight, my hair, my teeth, my skin, and even my singing voice. So whenever somebody complimented me on my singing, I’d get uncomfortable and mumble something self-deprecating. I’m glad that I managed to grow out of it, though.”

“And how did you do that?” Ashton asks, genuinely curious. “Fake it ‘til you make it?”

“To be honest? That’s exactly what I did,” he admits with a smile. “I know it sounds silly, but… it actually does work. I started thinking only good things about myself, and eventually it paid off. Takes a while, I know, but believe me when I say that it works.”

Not really knowing what to say to that, Ashton slowly nods before downing the rest of the wine in his glass. Deep inside of himself, he knows that what Luke says is true. He knows that he can be a bit self-deprecating at times, even if he doesn’t want to admit it aloud. Honestly, things haven’t always been this way and he’s not sure of when it all started, but if he had to guess, he’d say that it began not that long ago.

“Can I ask you something?” Luke says all of a sudden. “Um, though it has to do with the children’s grandparents so I don’t know if you’d consider that too personal or not, but if you do then never mind and I’m sorry for—”

“I really don’t mind,” Ashton says, interrupting his little tangent. When Luke sighs in relief, Ashton chuckles and says, “Honestly, you’ve been here for months and you still haven’t figured out that I want to be as open with you as I can. Anyway, go ahead.”

Luke visibly blushes and glances down at the table, though Ashton can see a hint of a smile on his lips.

“Right,” he mutters, then clears his throat and says a little louder, “I was just wondering why they’re not around? Or, maybe they are and I just haven’t met them yet. Wait, do they even have grandparents? If not, then my condolences. I hope that I’m not being insensitive by assuming that they do! Heh…”

Ashton waves a hand dismissively. “You’re fine, Luke, really. But yes, they do have grandparents. It’s just that my mom lives down in San Diego, so we don’t get to see her that often. But we do make sure to visit her every once in a while, otherwise she’ll nag me about it until the end of my days.”

Luke laughs a little at that last bit. Then, he asks, “And what about their maternal grandparents? Are they far away, too?”

“Not… exactly.” Ashton pauses and takes this time to pour himself another glass of wine, knowing that he’s probably going to need it. He refills Luke’s glass as well before continuing. “Let’s just say that Charlotte’s parents would rather pretend that I don’t exist.”

“Yikes. Rough history?”

Ashton shakes his head. “You’d think so, but honestly, they’ve pretty much hated my guts since the very beginning.”

Over the next several minutes, Ashton tells Luke a particular story that he hasn’t told anyone in quite some time, and it’s the story of how he and Charlotte first met all those years ago. He talks about how one of his old friends had introduced them to each other at a party, and how he somehow managed to “woo” her with his extensive knowledge of environmental issues and peanut butter with sliced bananas on toast. Ashton wouldn’t say that it was love at first sight, but it was definitely something very similar.

The problem lies in the fact that Charlotte was born and raised in Beverly Hills while Ashton was just a poor boy from South Los Angeles. At least, her _parents_ saw it as a problem. They didn’t want a “hoodlum” mooching off their daughter’s success like some gold-digger and getting her into trouble, and no matter how much Ashton tried to prove that he was a genuinely good person and that it didn’t matter where he came from, it was never enough for them. He and Charlotte eventually broke up near the end of high school, but as fate would have it, they ended up attending two rival universities that are less than half an hour apart from each other. This led to them reuniting at yet another party, only this time they stuck together despite her parents’ wishes.

“Kind of sounds like a fairytale,” Luke comments when Ashton has finished speaking. “The princess and the pauper, destined to be together despite all of the odds against them.”

Ashton snorts. “Yeah, only without a happy ending… but um, that’s basically all there is to it. I haven’t seen her overbearing parents since the funeral, and while I’m relieved for that, a part of me wishes that they could be in my children’s lives, you know? But I doubt that they want the same thing.”

“That’s terrible… and I’m sorry that you’ve had to deal with all of this on your own,” he mutters. “I feel like I can sort of relate to Charlotte, though.”

“You do?” Ashton sits up a little straighter, intrigued. “Were your parents overbearing monsters, too?”

Luke laughs and shakes his head. “Monsters? No, definitely not. But they were pretty overbearing when they wanted to be.”

Hearing this little bit of information piques Ashton’s interest even more. He suddenly thinks of the fact that he knows close to nothing about Luke’s family and his past. All that he knows is the technical stuff listed on Luke’s nanny profile and the information that he’d given during the in-person interview, such as where he studied and his past experience with taking care of children. Other than that, Luke is about as mysterious as a stranger, even though he’s never felt like one.

Yearning to know more, Ashton asks, “So what made them overbearing?”

“Well…” Luke drags out the word as if contemplating whether or not he wants to talk about it, or maybe he’s just thinking of _how_ to talk about it. In the end, he starts over by saying, “Basically, my parents were a bit older when they had me. Like, they were in their early forties, I think. I guess you can say that I’m kind of an _accident_ , since I was conceived during their anniversary after they had too much wine.”

He pauses to laugh quietly.

“And like, my two older brothers are twelve and sixteen years older than me, so I kind of grew up as an only child? Anyway, my parents, being much older than I am, were always rather… traditional, in a sense. Thinking on it now, I guess they felt like they had to be the perfect parents for me, since they had my brothers when they were a lot younger and inexperienced in parenthood. But honestly, trying to be perfect just made them really overbearing and overprotective, since they wanted to control every single thing that I did with my life. I don’t hold it against them, though. They thought that they were doing what was best for me, and doesn’t every parent think the same thing?”

Ashton can certainly agree with that last point. There has been plenty of times where he told himself that he’s doing the right thing when it comes to raising his three children, only to look back on it later and get the urge to slap himself in the face for being so naïve. But like every parent, he’s still learning. He wonders if the same can be said for Luke’s parents.

“What about now?” he asks a moment later. “Are they still as overbearing as they were when you were growing up?”

Luke opens his mouth to answer that, but whatever it is that he was going to say, he ultimately decides against it. For some reason, he’s starting to look a bit uncomfortable. His eyes are cast down and he’s frowning slightly, but what makes it most obvious is his habit of chewing on his bottom lip whenever he’s nervous. Assuming that he’s gone too far with the questioning, Ashton starts to apologize when they’re interrupted by the sound of small feet entering the kitchen.

“Girls?” Ashton calls out as both of his daughters come into view. “What are you doing out of bed?”

Lillie squints at the brightness of the kitchen lights while Annie rubs her sleepy eyes, and they both look exhausted in a way that Ashton hasn’t seen them before. When they don’t answer his question and simply continue standing there in the doorway, Ashton immediately assumes the worst. Luckily, Luke is the more sensible one of the two.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks, already standing up to make his way over to them.

Both of the girls shake their heads, and it suddenly occurs to Ashton that this has only happened a few other times, as far as he knows. The last time that the girls had trouble sleeping had been on the night of Charlotte’s funeral, and the time before that had occurred on the day that she’d passed away. Since today kind of symbolizes the third time that they’ve had to say goodbye to their mother, it makes sense that they’re having trouble sleeping. It’s probably even worse this time around, knowing that she isn’t coming back after all.

It pains Ashton to see them going through the same thing all over again, but he knows what he has to do.

“I’ll handle it,” he announces just before Luke begins to lead them back to their bedroom.

Luke turns away from the girls and asks with a subtle frown, “Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.” Ashton takes the cork from the table and pushes it back into the bottle of wine to close it for now, then stands up from his chair and walks over to them. He whispers to Luke, “They just miss their mother.”

Now that Luke understands the situation, a sympathetic smile finds its way onto his face.

Ashton crouches down and takes both of his daughters’ hands into his own. Smiling, he says, “Wanna sleep in my bed tonight?”

Lillie and Annie are quick to nod at the offer, so Ashton scoops Lillie off her feet while Luke does the same for Annie, and together they carry the twins back up the staircase. Both of the girls are already half asleep by the time that they make it to the master bedroom, so Luke and Ashton try to be as gentle as possible when placing them in the enormous bed. Ashton carefully climbs in afterwards and settles in the middle, and it warms his heart when his daughters snuggle into his sides as soon as he lies down.

“All settled?” Luke asks in a whisper, and right now, he’s looking at the three of them with the greatest amount of absolute _fond_ that anyone can possibly have for another human being.

“Yup, all settled,” Ashton whispers back to him, smiling as well. “Thanks, Luke.”

Ever the modest one, Luke tells him that it’s nothing and wishes him a goodnight. As he starts to walk away, Lillie calls out to him.

“Lukey,” she says, patting the spot behind her. “Sleep here.”

It’s a good thing that Ashton isn’t drinking any wine right now, because he certainly would have choked on it if he was. While he blushes from embarrassment and scrambles to think of something to say, Luke handles the situation much more casually, only after giggling with a hand over his mouth.

“Thank you, Lils, but I have my own bed to sleep in and it’s calling for me now,” he says with an amused smile. When he glances at Ashton, the older man quickly looks away and internally curses himself for the way that his heart beats faster at the mere thought of sharing a bed with Luke.

Lillie isn’t disappointed or saddened by his answer, because she falls asleep only seconds after he speaks. Now that both of the twins have succumbed to slumber, Ashton doubts that they’ll awaken until morning. It’s obvious now that they really were as exhausted as they had appeared, but the comfort provided by cuddling with their father seems to have done the trick.

Since his help is no longer needed, Luke quietly exits the room at last. Just before closing the door behind himself, Ashton calls out one last time.

“Goodnight, Luke.”

The light in the hallway illuminates Luke’s smile just as clear as day, and for the second time, Ashton’s heart beats a little quicker. For the briefest moment, he wonders how long that he can keep pretending that it doesn’t mean anything at all. He’s way too tired to deal with such dangerous thoughts right now, so he pushes it to the back of his mind almost as soon as it appears.

“Sweet dreams,” Luke replies, waving goodbye.

The door closes with a soft click a few seconds later, and thanks to the wine still warming Ashton’s belly, he falls asleep soon afterwards.

***

Remember how the universe just loves to screw with Ashton Fletcher Irwin? Well, this time the universe comes in the form of a young adult man with eyes as blue as the sky and a smile more valuable than gold itself. In other words, things begin to change between Ashton and Luke. He doesn’t know how or why, they just do. It starts slowly at first, like a calm river gradually picking up speed as it flows downstream, until it eventually reaches a vast waterfall where everything comes crashing down at once.

You see, Ashton is pretty certain that Luke is flirting with him. And no, he doesn’t mean casual flirting that can easily be explained as something entirely different; he means _blatant_ flirting, the kind of flirting that’s noticeable from a mile away because that’s just how obvious it is. It’s the type of flirting that makes his cheeks go red and causes the butterflies in his stomach to flutter wildly. As a matter of fact, he can think of three specific moments in which there’s no doubt that Luke had been flirting with him.

The first “incident” occurs just a few nights later. After spending the entire day with his children, Ashton stays up late to read all of the emails and other business things that he’s been ignoring recently. Despite being exhausted and unable to stop himself from yawning every two minutes, he tells himself that it’s worth it. Work is important, yes, but nothing comes before his precious little angels.

At half past midnight, he receives the shock of his life when a voice comes out of nowhere and says to him:

“I didn’t know that you wore glasses.”

Ashton nearly jumps from his seat until he realizes that it’s Luke standing there in his doorway with that usual grin, and after quickly snatching the glasses from his face, he curses under his breath for leaving the door to his office wide open. It’s just that the children are in bed and the house is as silent as it ever gets, so there hadn’t been any reason to shut the door at all. At least, that’s what he’d thought at the time.

Clearing his throat and willing his heart to be still, Ashton stammers with his reply.

“I, uh—not usually, no. I mean, I don’t wear them that often because… um, I only need them for reading. Sorry, did you need something?”

The grin on Luke’s face widens and he lifts up the mug in his hands, which Ashton hadn’t noticed until now.

“I brought you some coffee. Figured you might need it,” he explains, walking over to the desk and setting it down in the same spot that he always does. The aroma coming from the mug is absolutely divine, and Ashton is unable to stop the sigh of relief that escapes him.

“You’re an angel,” he says, taking the mug into his own hands and carefully sipping the hot liquid, then humming at the delicious taste. It’s just enough to revive him again. “Thank you.”

Ashton expresses his gratitude with a smile and as always, Luke smiles right back at him. The nanny turns around and makes his exit, but instead of leaving right away, he stops in the doorway and turns back to face Ashton once more.

“They looked good on you, by the way.”

Not understanding what Luke is referring to, Ashton raises his brows in question.

“Hm?”

“The glasses,” he clarifies, chuckling for some odd reason. “I think that you look really good in them. Sexy, even. You should wear them more often.”

Obviously, Ashton has no clue of how he’s supposed to react to a compliment like that. But honestly, who would? It’s certainly not every day that his children’s nanny, his employee, his _friend_ tells him that he’s sexy. It takes him by complete surprise, perhaps even more than Luke’s sudden appearance had. That’s precisely why he can only stare with his mouth agape and a blush forming on his cheeks, and by the time that he thinks he’s come up with an appropriate response, Luke has already left him to get back to his work.

Now, the second time that Luke is obvious with his flirting turns out to be a whole lot worse in comparison to the first time. It happens again during the night, once the children have been put to bed and he and Luke are free to do whatever it is that they desire.

This time, they’ve decided to watch a movie together. _Inception_ seems like the perfect choice, and not just because of the fact that Ashton dreams of someday meeting Leonardo DiCaprio in person. He also loves the plot of the film and finds it to be quite unique, but even more than that, he loves the soundtrack. Hans Zimmer is an absolute _genius_ , okay, and someday Ashton is going to meet him, too. In fact, he yearns to meet the musical genius even more than he yearns to be DiCaprio, and that’s saying a lot, considering the fact that both of these men are legends.

In the midst of daydreaming about meeting DiCaprio and Zimmer at the same time, Ashton is interrupting by a sudden whisper in his ear.

“The kids are fast asleep.”

Just like before, Ashton is startled by Luke’s sudden appearance, so startled that he actually _yelps_. Of course, Luke finds it amusing that he nearly gives his boss a heart attack for the second time, which explains his laughter as he walks around to the front of the sofa and takes a seat on the other end.

Ashton glares at the younger man, though mainly to keep himself from smiling along.

“You’ve really gotta stop doing that,” he grumbles irritably. “And I hate to break it to you, but not all of us are young and invincible, okay.”

Luke dramatically rolls his eyes and clutches one of the throw pillows to his chest.

“Ash, we’re five years apart and you’re not even in your thirties yet. Chill, I’m only messing with you.”

Oh, Ashton will definitely chill. He’ll be chilling in his grave when he suddenly dies of heart failure, all thanks to a playful nanny who gets off on scaring him to death. Even so, Ashton won’t deny that he and Luke have a lot of fun together. It seems like each day there’s something new and exciting to look forward to, but before Luke came along, it felt as if each day had been more of a struggle than the previous one. To put it simply, Luke has transformed this family in ways that Ashton can’t even comprehend, but he wouldn’t trade their relationship for anything in the world.

When they’re about twenty minutes into the movie, Luke decides that he wants a snack. He stands up from the sofa and leaves the family room in a flash, telling Ashton that he doesn’t need to pause the movie since both of them have seen it before. When he returns just a couple of minutes later, he’s cradling two bowls in his arms, a large one and a much smaller one, as well as a bag of gummy bears in between his lips.

“Cravings, huh?” Ashton chuckles and takes both of the bowls from Luke to prevent him from dropping anything, and it pleases him when he finds that they’ve been filled with chips and dip. Ashton really loves chips and dip.

“The M&Ms were all gone, so these will just have to do for now,” comes Luke’s muffled reply, now that he’s attempting to open the pack of gummy candies with his teeth. Honestly, his brief struggle and great determination reminds Ashton of the twins. At this point, it’s impossible to tell if they’ve rubbed off on him or if he’s the one who has rubbed off on them.

Luke doesn’t sit back down until he has successfully opened the gummy bears, and he wears the biggest smile when he finally manages to release them from their plastic prison. However, unlike before, he doesn’t return to his place at the other end of the sofa. No, this time he plops down right beside Ashton so that they can easily share the chips and candy.

What’s alarming is that he sits so closely that they’re basically pressed up against each other, touching from their shoulders all the way down to their knees. Whether or not Luke meant to sit so closely, Ashton doesn’t know. What he does know is that this lack of space makes it nearly _impossible_ for him to concentrate on the film and enjoy the beautiful soundtrack, because the only thing that he can focus on now is the warmth seeping from Luke’s body into his.

Right now you might be thinking, how in the world does this count as flirting? Well, it doesn’t. Not completely. Sitting close like this isn’t exactly flirting, _until_ Luke suddenly rests his head on Ashton’s shoulder sometime during the middle of the movie. The bowl on the coffee table is empty aside from a few chip crumbs and they split the last gummy bear (Ashton eats the body, Luke eats the head). It appears that Luke is getting sleepy, now that his cravings have been satisfied. This is the only explanation that Ashton can come up with for the soft head resting against him, and since his arm is already resting along the back of the sofa, he places it around Luke’s shoulders instead.

You know, just because it’s more comfortable this way. Not because he’s agreeing with the semi-cuddling or anything. Nope.

The entire right side of Ashton’s body feels like it’s on fire by the time that the movie has ended. Somehow, it’s even more intense than the feeling that he received when Luke had rubbed sunscreen all over his body that day at the beach. It feels like ages have passed since then.

“Lukey,” he says, speaking in a tone just above a whisper. He gently shakes the other man’s shoulder. “The movie’s over now.”

Luke doesn’t budge. If anything, he snuggles even closer and keeps his eyes shut, but Ashton can tell that he’s obviously awake. After all, only conscious people have the ability to smile like that, only to quickly suppress the smile in hopes that Ashton doesn’t notice it. Unfortunately for him, Ashton definitely notices.

“Seriously? You’re not fooling anyone with that smile, I know that you’re awake. See, I’ll prove it.”

All of a sudden, Ashton begins tickling him. He really is unable to contain himself now, but Ashton grants him mercy as soon as he surrenders. And now that his cover has been blown, Luke wears a pout that also reminds Ashton of the twins. But despite everything, he still doesn’t sit up. He rests his sleepy head on Ashton’s shoulder again and exhales a tired sigh.

“Sorry, can’t help it. You’re just really comfy.”

It’s when Ashton begins comparing Luke to a cuddly bunny in his head that he realizes he’s losing his mind. He snaps out of his trance and reminds himself of how unprofessional and inappropriate this is, practically cuddling on the sofa and tickling each other like a couple of school boys. But even worse than that, this closeness is making Ashton feel certain things that he really shouldn’t be feeling for his children’s nanny. Like, _at all_. That’s what drives him to jump up from the sofa and get his shit together, and when Luke stares up at him with a confused little frown, Ashton clears his throat.

“I… have to get up really early tomorrow. Um. To take care of something. Wow, can’t believe that I nearly forgot! So uh, yeah. Goodnight, sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ashton dashes out of the room before Luke can even formulate a reply to any of that.

The third time that Luke flirts with him is most definitely the worst of all, because it’s not as casual as an offhand comment about his appearance, nor is it as innocent as watching a movie together and semi-cuddling. It does, however, cause Ashton to finally realize that all of this is being done on purpose. After this, he can no longer ignore the fact that Luke is seriously hitting on him and that his attraction is as clear as day.

It happens in the middle of a particularly warm afternoon. Although it’s technically still the middle of spring, Southern California likes to pretend that it’s the beginning of summer, meaning that the temperature has been rather high for the past few days and despite the air conditioner, it’s still pretty hot.

Ashton has always been a diligent worker, but the heat has a way of getting to him and making him a lot more agitated than usual, and when he’s not agitated, he’s simply not thinking straight. Combined with his inability to locate a very important sheet music anywhere in his office, he’s just not himself at the moment.

This would explain the following exchange between himself and Luke.

“Knock knock,” Luke says while rapping his knuckles against the door to Ashton’s office. Just like before, Ashton has decided to leave it open; but Luke makes sure to knock anyway, just in case he really does give Ashton a heart attack one of these days.

Since he’s currently in the middle of trying not to panic as he searches through folder after folder, Ashton grunts to show that he’s half listening.

“Right, so you’re obviously busy. Well, I was just wondering if you’d be okay with me giving the kids a popsicle each? Y’know, to help them cool down a little before dinner time.”

Honestly, Ashton hardly cares what Luke does at this point. He’s been with them long enough to know what’s best for the children and Ashton has already said that he trusts Luke’s judgement. Still, it’s nice that Luke always makes sure to check in with Ashton before doing things like this, since he knows how Ashton feels about having his rules broken.

So when Ashton replies, he isn’t really thinking of what he says. His thoughts are still mainly focused on the sheet music that he’s searching for, and his answer comes absentmindedly.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Go ahead, babe.”

It takes several seconds and Luke’s immediate silence for Ashton to realize what he’s just said, and he nearly drops the folder in his hands as a result. Panicked, his eyes instantly glance over at Luke, who seems just as surprised by the pet name as he is. The only difference is that his face isn’t nearly as red as Ashton imagines his own face to be right now.

“I mean…” He lets out a nervous laugh. “Ignore that, it’s… it’s just a habit.”

The look of surprise on Luke’s face is replaced by his bashful grin. To be honest, it’s one of Ashton’s most favorite looks on him.

After a short moment, Luke shakes his head and says, “It’s alright… _babe_.”

He then proceeds to saunter out of the room as if it’s nothing, while Ashton continues staring at the empty space in which he stood. So what, he accidentally called Luke “babe” and instead of ignoring it or laughing it off like anyone else would, Luke decided to do the exact same thing; and with a smile, no less.

This is no big deal. Luke is merely teasing him as always.

It’s no big deal at all.

Even if it feels like one.

You know what? Ashton could really use an ice cold drink right now to set his mind straight. It’s the _heat_ , that’s all that it is. The ruthless heat is getting to him and making him say things that he normally wouldn’t. His frustration over the sheet music is only making it worse, so it’s about time that he leaves his office to take a well-deserved break with the others. And who knows, maybe relaxing his nerves and remaining calm will help him find what he’s looking for much sooner before.

With this thought in mind, Ashton’s legs carry him down the stairs and into the kitchen, where his children and the nanny are currently snacking on frozen popsicles. Still embarrassed about his little slip-up from earlier, Ashton avoids Luke’s gaze as he makes his way over to the refrigerator where he keeps his beloved iced tea. The cool liquid pouring down his parched throat is like the sweet taste of heaven.

The peaceful bliss that Ashton feels doesn’t last for long, though. He makes the mistake of glancing in the other direction and meeting Luke’s eyes, who stares back at him with the same amount of intensity. Neither of them look away for several seconds, but it’s as if they physically _can’t_. That’s when Ashton notices the rather suggestive way that Luke is currently sucking on the bright popsicle in his mouth—though “sucking” is the polite word for it, because he’s practically deep-throating the damn thing while never taking his eyes off Ashton. To make matters worse, the bright red coloring of the treat has left its mark all over his mouth, making it appear as if he’s wearing lipstick.

All of this renders Ashton speechless. It’s just so blatantly _sexual_ that it’s impossible for it to be taken in any other context, yet Ashton feels like the naughty one for comparing the act of eating a popsicle to performing fellatio. Either way, it’s wildly inappropriate and he knows that he should look away, he knows that he should pull Luke aside and scold him for the way that he’s been behaving lately—but Ashton can’t do any of that.

Why? Because in the deepest crevice of his mind, he also knows that he _likes it_. The intense desire burning within is much stronger than his desire to remain professional and do what he knows is morally right. But what are morals when there’s a smoking hot nanny sitting at his table who obviously feels some type of way about him? What the hell are morals when Ashton knows that he feels the same, even if he doubts that he’ll ever admit it?

Feeling his jeans get a little tighter, Ashton coughs awkwardly and excuses himself from the kitchen, simultaneously ending their staring contest and whatever else is going on between them. All that he knows is that this “game” of Luke’s is getting more and more unbearable, and Ashton doesn’t think that he’ll be able to handle it for much longer.

However, his intrigue gets the best of him and he ends up playing along.

Just a few days later, Ashton finally gets his revenge for all of the teasing when he corners Luke in the kitchen. It happens when he returns home from his morning jog, feeling wired up and young again. Ashton doesn’t run as fast or as long as he used to be able to, but he’s satisfied with the knowledge that he’s still able to do _something_ with himself. Besides, exercising has always been a favorite activity of his, but he also tries to keep up a healthy lifestyle in general.

Also, yoga. Yoga is actually pretty fun to do and Ashton genuinely loves doing it.

The next step in his routine is drinking his usual protein smoothie. While it’s not as delicious as a normal smoothie without the protein powder added to it, it’s essential to keeping his muscles nice and strong. With that in mind, Ashton wanders into the kitchen so that he can begin making the smoothie, but it surprises him when he finds a tall glass of the beverage already sitting on the counter.

Standing in front of the stove is none other than Luke, of course, and since he’s focused on making a delicious breakfast for the children, he doesn’t notice Ashton’s presence at first. That’s when Ashton clears his throat to get Luke’s attention, and when the nanny turns around, his eyes go a little wide.

“You really didn’t have to make this for me, you know,” he says to the younger man, but the gratitude in his tone is obvious. “But thanks, I appreciate it.”

See, one of the greater things about Luke is that he takes care of Ashton nearly just as much as he takes care of Ashton’s children, even though he really doesn’t have to. His contract states that his daily tasks include cooking for the children, cleaning up after the children, and playing with them to keep them busy but also happy. Now, it doesn’t say anything about making Ashton’s protein smoothies or bringing him coffee and snacks when he’s working hard in his office, but these are things that Luke does anyway. He’s just naturally helpful, and that’s part of what makes him the perfect nanny.

There’s a much delayed reaction on Luke’s part in response to Ashton’s thanks. He simply stands there for a few seconds as if in a daze, before finally shaking himself out of it and averting his gaze, since he had been staring at Ashton this whole time.

“It’s...” Realizing his voice is a bit hoarse, he pauses and clears his throat. “It’s nothing, really! I don’t mind helping out in the slightest, you know, so it’s fine. And you look really good, by the way—er, good as in healthy, not good as in, like, _good…_ not that you don’t look good in that way, too! Because you do, really, you do. I just meant the other way. Um.”

Luke’s rambling comes to an end when he decides to zip his lips and return to focusing on the scrambled eggs in the skillet, and although his sudden odd behavior seems out of place, it doesn’t take a genius to recognize just how flustered he is. At first Ashton has no idea why Luke would be flustered at all, until he catches Luke glancing in his direction again before hurriedly looking away.

Because you see, Luke isn’t just looking at Ashton. He’s looking at the lack of a shirt covering Ashton’s body and his glistening skin. The reason that Ashton is shirtless is because the fabric had started to cling to him due to the sweat along his torso and back, so he decided to take it off just before entering the house. To be honest, if he’d known that he would have this much of an effect on Luke, he would have started walking around shirtless a long time ago.

Any other time, Ashton would be polite by putting on his fucking shirt, but that’s not what he does this time. He realizes that he can use this to his advantage, and after the way that Luke has been teasing him recently with the nonstop flirting and the sultry glances, he deserves to get a bit of revenge. At least just this once.

The kitchen drawer where the straws are kept is right next to the stove, so Ashton initiates his plan by striding over to it to retrieve what he needs to enjoy his protein smoothie. However, instead stopping directly in front of the drawer, he stops directly behind _Luke_ and leans over to open it. He’s so close to the other man that his chest is slightly pressed up against Luke’s back, and he even goes so far as to place a hand on Luke’s hip as if to balance himself. It pleases him greatly when he feels the way that Luke stiffens up and gasps.

“Pardon me,” Ashton says, pretending to be completely oblivious to the awkward situation. He then takes his sweet time in rummaging through the drawer to grab a straw from the little box, humming to himself as he does so.

Luke doesn’t move a single muscle, not even when Ashton pulls back and thanks him again for making the smoothie in the first place. A sense of pride swells up inside of Ashton, knowing that he’s won this round of obvious flirtations. So with a smirk on his face, he happily sips from his smoothie and makes for the exit. Just before he leaves for good, he looks over his shoulder and says:

“By the way, those scrambled eggs are starting to look a little brown, don’t you think?”

Upon noticing that he’s burning the food, Luke finally snaps out of his trance and attempts to save whatever’s left of the burnt eggs, then whines loudly when he realizes that he has to start all over again.

Ashton pretends not to see the evil glare that’s sent his way.

***

After the incident with the straw and the burnt eggs, they come to a truce.

Or, something like that.

Ashton _assumes_ that they’ve reached a truce, because Luke doesn’t try anything for a while. At least, nothing as obvious as the things that he’s previously said and done. Now, he settles for not-so-discreet staring contests and smiling at Ashton for no apparent reason whatsoever, and when Ashton asks _why_ he’s smiling like that, Luke only shakes his head and continues smiling as if nothing could possibly ruin his day. He also begins ironically—or, unironically?—calling Ashton _babe_ every once in a while. And since Ashton isn’t one for giving up or admitting defeat, he starts doing it more often, too.

Basically, they have this weird thing going on between them that neither of them seems to want to discuss, so they don’t. But even more than that, neither of them shows signs of wanting to put an end to whatever this is, either.

Besides, what could possibly go wrong?

“Red? Or pink?”

“Hmm… well, which one do you think would look best on me?”

Lillie glances back and forth between the two bottles of nail polish in her small hands. When she comes to a decision, she nods.

“I think both.”

Without a second thought, she opens the bottle of red polish and begins rather sloppily applying it to some of Ashton’s fingernails. The bright color will definitely be difficult to wash off completely, but he says nothing and simply smiles to keep his daughter happy.

Tonight, Lillie and Annie are giving him some sort of makeover, after discovering their mother’s collection of nail polish and hair clips in the bathroom drawers of the master bedroom. Luke swears that he only turned his back for a few minutes to finish dressing Billie in a new pair of pajamas after bath time, and before he knew it, the girls had returned with nail polish all over their hands and arms. Apparently, tea parties are old news and giving makeovers is the next big thing, so Ashton lets them play with the stuff under adult supervision.

The catch? Well, now he has no choice but to sit on the floor in front of the sofa while Lillie paints his nails and Annie styles his hair. He supposes that _experimenting_ is a much better term than styling, because even though he can’t see himself right now, he can already tell that the end result of Annie’s creation won’t be pretty. Again, he reminds himself that he’s doing it for the girls. He wants to keep them happy and that requires spending as much time with them as he possibly can. And if makeovers are included in this package, then so be it.

When the brush gets a little tangled in Ashton’s hair, Annie yanks it through in a manner that’s not exactly pleasant and Ashton hisses from the subtle pain. Sensing that she’s the cause of said hiss, Annie apologizes and sweetly kisses the top of his head as if to make him feel better. If that isn’t the most adorable thing in the universe, then Ashton doesn’t know what is.

“How’s it going up there, Annie?” he asks.

“Almost done, don’t look yet!” she tells him, despite there being no possible way for Ashton to see his reflection. As he waits, he hears the sound of her ruffling through the small box of hair clips before she finds the one that she wants. It takes her a couple of tries to pin it to his head, and when she does, she gasps in awe at her own work. “There. Now you look so pretty!”

“I’m done, too!” announces Lillie, and she quickly reseals the bottle of polishes before examining her work as well.

Ashton’s fingernails make him look as if he’s just spent Valentine’s Day at a butcher shop. Of course, Valentine’s Day was months ago and he isn’t going to a butcher shop at all, but the pink and red combination makes it seem this way. He looks as if he dipped his bright pink nails in a bucket of raw meat, covering his fingers in blood. He doesn’t want to imagine how long it’s going to take to wash all of this off, so he doesn’t.

Instead, he gives Lillie his biggest smile because he actually loves it. He loves his nails and he loves her, so he gasps and begins raving on about the wonderful job that she’s done, and even though he can’t see his hair in a mirror yet, he tells Annie that she’s done a wonderful job, too. Unsurprisingly, both girls are ecstatic to hear that they’ve made their father proud.

Luke comes into the family room just a moment later, and of course the first thing that the twins do is boast to him about their makeover.

“Lukey, look!” Annie exclaims, jumping from the sofa and running over to grab his hand, then physically pulling him over to where her sister and father still sit. “We gave daddy a makeover! Isn’t he pretty?”

The look on Luke’s face is obviously the face of someone who really wants to laugh right now and is trying his best not to. Ashton gives him a look in return, one that says _go on and laugh, I dare you_. In the end, Luke proves that he’s much stronger than he seems, because he smiles instead of laughing and says in the most genuine way:

“I think that he’s absolutely gorgeous, as always.”

Lillie and Annie beam with joy at his approval, while Luke and Ashton continue to make eye contact. This certainly isn’t the first of their strange but brief staring contests, and each time, Ashton fails to figure out what Luke is thinking.

It’s strange, really. Luke has the personality of someone who can be read like an open book, but in reality, it’s the opposite. Ashton is just unable to figure out his reasoning for the things that he says and does, but while it is frustrating to remain in the dark like this, it’s also _very_ exciting.

Perhaps that’s why Ashton always plays along, he loves the feeling of excitement flowing through his veins. It’s been a long, long time since he’s felt anything like this, so maybe it’s natural that he’s yearning to continue feeling these things.

With a sarcastic grin, Ashton responds to the unexpected compliment with: “How very kind of you. Thanks, _babe_.”

The quirky grin on Luke’s face widens at the use of their shared pet name, and at this point, Ashton has to wonder if he actually _likes_ being teased like this. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t. Ashton doesn’t really know, but he’ll damn sure dedicate however much time it takes to find out.

Lillie tugs on the hem of Luke’s shirt until she has his attention.

“It’s your turn now. You gotta have a makeover, too.”

Luke laughs in response to that, but he nods instead of shaking his head.

“Next time, angel. I promise. For now, it’s time for the two of you to get to bed.”

Hearing that it’s bedtime gets a negative reaction from the girls, who begin to whine until Ashton tells them that they’ll have plenty of time for giving makeovers tomorrow, but they have to get their rest if they expect to be prepared for their ballet recital. They instantly gain a change of heart at the mention of the recital that they’ve been excited about for the past few weeks, and after both of them give their father a hug and a kiss to the cheek, they follow Luke out of the room.

Ashton takes this time to clean up the mess that they’ve made. It isn’t much, though, and he finds that he’s unable to stop smiling for some reason. Maybe it’s because of the fact that he’s just genuinely happier these days, and most of it is the result of spending more time with his children. When he isn’t handling work related tasks or exercising to keep himself feeling as young and healthy as possible, he’s spending time with his daughters and his son.

It didn’t used to be this way. No, it used to be that Ashton’s schedule included three things: work, exercise, and even more work. Working is basically all that he ever did before Luke came along and inspired him to change. But to be honest, Luke has done more than just inspired Ashton to be a better father for his children. He’s also helped Ashton realize that he needs to treat himself better. He needs to take better care of himself by doing something other than working in his office all day and night, and for the past month or so, Ashton has been following that advice.

Every night after the children have been put to bed, Ashton has gotten into the habit of spending a bit of quality time with himself instead of returning to his office. Of course, sometimes he has no choice but to finish up with extra work, but as far as most nights go, there’s nothing left for him to do. Therefore, Ashton spends just a few hours with himself—or with Luke, if the other man is still awake. He usually is, but when he isn’t, Ashton will enjoy his solitude via reading a book in bed, stargazing in the backyard from the balcony, or even just going for a short walk around the neighborhood. These peaceful activities have done wonders for him by reducing his daily stress and, well, keeping him happy.

As for tonight, Ashton is a bit too tired to take a walk and he knows that he’ll instantly fall asleep if he tries reading a book, so this time he thinks that he’ll settle for a glass of wine and some music before heading to bed.

The vintage record player in the living room has to be Ashton’s favorite thing that he owns within the whole house. Yes, it beats even his old drum kit and the expensive Porsche sitting in the garage. He hums happily while selecting a vinyl from the shelf to listen to, and when he finds one that seems to fit his current mood, he sets the vinyl on the turntable and lowers the needle. The music that pours out of the machine gives him a magical feeling, soothing him from the inside out.

Ashton retrieves two glasses from the cupboard as soon as he enters the kitchen and pours a bit of wine into both of them. Luke returns a moment later and joins him, just like Ashton knew that he would. They toast to nothing in particular and gently clink their glasses before taking a sip, and afterwards, Luke smiles.

“Elvis, huh?” he says, referring to the music that’s playing in the other room. “I can dig Elvis.”

“I know,” Ashton replies, chuckling softly as he’s reminded of Luke singing Elvis to Billie on the first night that he moved in. It’s almost hard to believe that it has already been nearly five months since then.

“So, are you excited about tomorrow?”

“Very. Maybe even more excited than Lillie and Annie are. Hey, do you think that I should get them some roses? You know, just a single rose to give to each of them after the show has ended?”

Luke laughs suddenly, shaking his head. “Well, I’m not sure how much a couple of five year olds will be able to appreciate being given a flower. What about chocolates instead? Or ice cream? We can get them some dessert when we go out for dinner afterwards.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Ashton agrees, nodding. “Luke, you’re a genius.”

“Ashton, please. I’m just your friendly neighborhood nanny.”

The Spider-Man reference brings another laugh out of Ashton.

“You’re a dork, too. A really big dork, but I’ll admit that it’s endearing.”

What’s even more endearing is the way that Luke continues smiling at him after that, clearly pleased with himself for having made Ashton laugh. It’s moments like these when Ashton wonders where Luke has been all of his life. Talking to him every night like this and even living with him just feels so natural, like they were always meant to find each other one way or another. Who knows, maybe they really were. All that Ashton knows is that he’s grateful, so grateful to have stumbled upon Luke’s nanny profile and for making the wise decision to hire him.

All of a sudden, Luke gasps.

“What’s the matter?” Ashton asks, alarmed.

Luke shakes his head to show that it’s nothing serious or bad, and with that same smile appearing on his face again, he whispers:

“This song.”

To be completely honest, Ashton hasn’t been paying any attention to the music since he began talking to Luke. Now, however, he allows himself to tune in and listen to the music coming from the living room. When he recognizes the song that’s currently playing, he instantly comes to understand the reason behind Luke’s sudden excitement.

 _Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can’t help falling in love with you_.

“Ah, right.” Ashton giggles softly. “The song you sang to Billie. It’s one of my favorites, too.”

“You know what we have to do then, right?”

Before Ashton can question what in the world he means by that, Luke sets down his glass of nearly empty wine and springs up from his chair, grinning so wide that Ashton swears his mouth will get stuck like that someday. Once standing, he extends his hand to Ashton and waits for the older man to take it, but Ashton knows exactly what Luke is hoping for so he quickly shakes his head.

“No, no. No dancing for me, but thanks for the offer.”

He tries grinning at Luke as a way of saying “but hey, no hard feelings!”, except that it doesn’t work. Not even for a second, which should have been obvious. Luke can be quite persistent when he wants to be, and it looks like he’s choosing now.

Rolling his eyes, Luke says, “Okay, but I’m not offering. I’m _telling_ you to dance with me.”

In an instant, he takes Ashton by the hand and pulls him up from his seat, too. It happens so unexpectedly that Ashton can’t do anything except go along with it, as Luke tugs him away from the table and towards a more open spot in the kitchen. By now, it’s too late for Ashton to refuse and sit back down without disappointing Luke and being forced to watch him pout, so he sighs and decides that one dance can’t hurt.

Just this once.

“Despite what it may look like, I’m not going to enjoy this,” Ashton claims, and he raises his brows as if daring Luke to fight him on this.

Obviously, that’s exactly what Luke proceeds to do.

“You’re lying, but that’s okay. I know the _real_ Ashton Irwin, and he says that he’d love to dance with me.” Luke positions his right hand along Ashton’s back while his left hand keeps a firm grip on Ashton’s hand. When Ashton positions his other hand in the place that it’s supposed to be, Luke smirks at him. “The real Ashton also says that he knows how to waltz and doesn’t need my guidance. Good!”

Ashton sighs again and hopes that the blush rising on his cheeks isn’t as obvious as it feels.

“Actually, the _real_ Ashton would just like to know when we’re gonna start dancing, because the song is nearly half over.”

Recognizing the truth in those words, Luke nods and begins to lead them in a slow waltz along the kitchen. Ashton can’t recall the last time that he danced like this with anyone, so it’s no surprise that he’s a little rusty. Even so, Luke is more than simply patient with him. Luke laughs when Ashton accidentally steps on his foot in the beginning, and he laughs again when he accidentally does the same thing in return. From the looks of it, neither of them are very good at this sort of thing, but that’s what makes it _fun_.

However, in an instance, it shifts from being fun to being something entirely different when Luke pulls Ashton closer to him, making it so that they’re no longer waltzing but simply swaying their bodies together. Right now, Ashton imagines that they probably resemble a typical couple at prom night or something. The only differences includes the fact that it’s just the two of them, Ashton is in a pair of sweatpants while Luke is wearing jeans, and they’re actually allowed to drink alcohol.

Somehow, it’s perfect.

Remember all of the staring contests that they’ve been having recently? Well, this time it’s more intense than all of the previous ones combined. Ashton is hardly breathing as he gazes back into Luke’s eyes, afraid that if he alters his movements in any way, then the dream will come shattering down around him. After all, it has to be some sort of dream. No one has looked at Ashton the way that Luke does in such a long time, to the point where it feels completely unreal. It’s unreal, it’s overwhelming, it’s…

_Scary._

It’s very scary, actually, and that’s why Ashton wants this seemingly timeless moment to last. He craves the attention that Luke gives him, he craves this feeling of being someone special to the man in front of him. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to deal with any of the repercussions of whatever this is between them, and he doesn’t want to deal with reality.

Because in reality, people get hurt. Ashton has been hurt enough as it already is and he doesn’t think that he can take much more. Not right now, when he has been so much happier with his life and the way that things are going for him and his family.

When the song slows down as it comes to an end, they, too, begin to slow their dancing until they’ve come to a complete stop. But Luke doesn’t let go of Ashton and Ashton doesn’t stop gazing right back into his wide blue eyes, searching for something and not knowing what he’s looking for. He starts to consider the possibility that maybe he isn’t looking for anything in specific; maybe what he’s looking for is _someone_ , and that someone is a person that he’s had all along and just didn’t know it.

It’s a foolish thought, though. He knows that it is, and so that’s what he tells himself repeatedly.

_It’s foolish, it’s foolish, it’s foolish._

Luke nervously licks his lips and prepares to speak, while Ashton goes into panic mode and prepares to build his walls up higher. As long as he protects himself, then no one will have to get hurt. Not again, not ever.

“Ashton, I…”

As soon as those words leave Luke’s lips, Ashton finally lets go of the other man and puts a bit of distance between them, crossing his arms over his chest as if forming an extra barrier. The confusion and the _pain_ that immediately appears all over Luke’s face is more unbearable than Ashton can handle right now, so he averts his eyes and stares at the abandoned glasses of wine on the table.

“This is…” he starts, but then instantly pauses. The silence that stretches between them is a long one before Ashton sighs, having gathered his wits by now and realizing that he needs to put an end to this _game_ of theirs. At last, he looks into Luke’s eyes again. “This is highly unprofessional, Luke. And it’s not just this, either. It’s… well, it’s everything that we’ve been doing for the past few weeks and I blame myself for not putting an end to it sooner, but _this_? This needs to stop.”

Luke blinks but doesn’t say anything for several seconds, most likely trying to process everything that’s been said. At the moment, he looks a cross between confused and upset, but also like he doesn’t know what he should be upset about in particular. It’s not an easy thing to watch— _none of this_ is easy, but when has life ever truly been easy?

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” he says at last, frowning now. “But I thought that you—”

“I know,” Ashton interrupts, though only because he doubts that he’d be able to stomach whatever Luke had been about to say. “I know, and I’m so sorry. I should have never played along and made you think that any of this was… _okay_ in the slightest. I mean, as much as I’ve talked about wanting a nanny who could be more than just an employee, I never planned for it to go this far. Honestly. For that, I’m sorry; but I think it’d be best if we quit while we’re still ahead.”

Just like that, all of the emotion seems to drain from Luke’s face. This totally blank expression of his makes it impossible for Ashton to figure out what he’s thinking, not that he’d been any good at doing so before, but still. He can tell that things are about to get even more awkward.

In a tone about as emotionless as his expression, Luke says, “Are you trying to tell me that I should quit being the nanny?”

And because that’s not at all what Ashton is trying to say in the slightest, he quickly shakes his head and attempts to explain.

“No, no! That’s the last thing that I want, really! I mean, the children absolutely _love_ you, and I—well, I… value you and everything that you’ve done for this family, so getting rid of you would be the biggest mistake that I could ever make. I just think that we should, you know, take a step back and think about the way that we’ve been interacting with each other lately? Because a lot of what we’ve done is just… really inappropriate, but we can work on being more professional with each other and just forgetting about all of this nonsense, alright?”

“Why are you fucking lying?”

If there’s one thing that Ashton has never heard in his entire life and never thought that he would, it’s Luke using a curse word. In fact, just hearing that word come from such an innocent mouth makes it sound almost foreign to Ashton’s ears, and he’s forced to pause, too shocked to speak. Doesn’t seem to matter anyway, now that it’s Luke’s turn to say what _he_ thinks about this whole situation.

What Luke does next is let out a bitter laugh before saying, “What I don’t understand is how you can just stand there with a straight face and say all of this _crap_ to me, when you and I both know that it’s just not true. Like, it’s one thing to let me down gently and it’s another thing to blatantly lie to my face, Ashton.”

This certainly isn’t a side of Luke that Ashton is used to, or one that he’s even seen before. He doesn’t know how to deal with this anymore and he’s not quite sure how to respond, but when he tries to speak up and reply to those accusations, he gets shut down when Luke speaks over him.

“And I _get it_ , okay. I get it if you’re just… scared or not ready for this kind of thing yet, or maybe you really don’t like me and all of this has been some sort of cruel joke—and I know that it isn’t, because I know for a fact that you _do_ feel the same way about me, at least to some extent. But honestly, how does lying to me get us anywhere? What does that even accomplish, aside from making me feel like a piece of shit who was stupid enough to think that we wanted the same thing?”

Since the latter questions aren’t meant to be rhetorical, Luke pauses and waits for an answer. Ashton, however, still has no idea what to say. Honestly, he never imagined that Luke would react so strongly to all of this, and now he feels like the world’s biggest fool. He had only wanted to avoid getting hurt as well as hurting the one person who has believed in him since the very beginning, but it seems that he has only managed to do the exact opposite.

Ashamed and too afraid that he’s just going to make matters worse, Ashton remains silent.

Unsurprisingly, his silence is not that answer that Luke is hoping for. The nanny snorts and shakes his head, probably wondering why he’s wasting his time when it’s obviously useless. Then, he sighs from exhaustion and when he speaks again, all of the anger inside of him seems to have died down. Now, it’s replaced with sorrow.

“You know what, never mind. I’m just… gonna go to bed now.”

Luke turns away and leaves the kitchen without waiting for a reply, not that Ashton tries to speak up anyway. All that he can think about now is just how badly he has managed to fuck everything up, despite how _good_ things have been lately. The worst part is that Ashton doesn’t know if he’ll be able to fix things this time, either.

After all, hearts are easy to break but nearly impossible to mend.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before anyone yells at me, the quote "I can dig Elvis" is a reference to a really popular fic from another fandom titled ["Twist and Shout"](http://archiveofourown.org/works/537876/chapters/955176) that is quite good and sad and I never finished it but if you like destiel then be my guest!


	3. Nanny Luke and Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we arrive at the last chapter. Hope u like it :-)!!

* * *

Ashton doesn’t get much sleep that night, and it shows in his face when he’s staring at his reflection the next morning. He looks unbelievably tired, but he knows that it has nothing to do with the lack of sleep under his belt. Instead, it has everything to do with the semi-argument between himself and Luke during the previous evening. It has to do with the words that came from Luke’s lips, the pain on his face and the betrayal in his eyes. Ashton sees that look every time that he closes his own eyes, and it’s exhausting.

He has worse problems to deal with now, though. He has no idea how he’s going to face Luke today, not after what happened and the things that he said to hurt Luke’s feelings. Sure, he didn’t _mean_ to hurt Luke in the way that he did, but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. Ashton tries telling himself that he was in the right, he can’t risk having that type of relationship with Luke. When things turn out horribly because they inevitably do, then it would be far too awkward and Luke would eventually quit. Ashton can’t risk ruining things like that, not when his children need Luke in their lives.

Unfortunately, his quest to refrain from ruining things has backfired, and now he really ruined the relationship between them.

Regardless of what he’s done, Ashton reminds himself that today is not about him. It’s about Lillie and Annie and the ballet recital that they’ve been so excited for. As their father, he needs to be there for them and show them his everlasting support, and he’s going to do it with a smile on his face despite how he really feels. Since he knows that Luke is going to do the same, it should make things easier for the time being. Therefore, Ashton quits hiding in his bedroom and travels downstairs to join the others for breakfast.

As always, the children are seated at the table when he arrives in the kitchen, and since the girls are currently telling Luke about a strange dream that they both had last night, Ashton doesn’t interrupt them as he joins them at the table.

“And then I fell off the stage and there was no ground so I kept falling forever,” explains Lillie.

“And ever,” says Annie.

Standing over by the stove, Luke hums to show that he’s listening to every word that she says. When he turns around and his eyes meet Ashton’s for the first time since the night before, he doesn’t really react. In fact, he shows no signs of, well, _anything_. Ashton doesn’t know if he should be hurt or relieved that Luke doesn’t appear to be angry with him.

“It sounds like the two of you had a fear dream,” he says as he walks over to the table. “You must be nervous about the recital later on this evening. Well, don’t be. I know for a fact that you’re going to be _amazing_.”

Luke stops for just a second to set down the plate of food in his hand in front of Ashton. When Ashton glances up at him, smiles and thanks him for the food, Luke still doesn’t acknowledge him with so much as a “good morning”. What he does instead is turn back around as if the exchange never happened at all, and he kisses Lillie and Annie on top of their heads before heading back over to the sink to wash the skillets that he used.

“If it makes you feel any better, I can practice with the both of you before it’s time to go. Does that sound good?”

Lillie and Annie visibly relax at the offer and they eagerly accept it. They go back to enjoying their breakfast after that, now that the nerves in their tummies have settled down. Ashton, on the other hand, finds it difficult to eat the eggs, sausage and toast on his plate, since it’s obvious now that Luke is deciding to ignore him. Of course, he has no right to be angry about it, knowing that he’d probably do the same thing if he were Luke.

After breakfast, the girls run off to the playroom since they have a lot of time to kill before they have to get ready for the recital. Ashton keeps Billie busy while Luke cleans up the kitchen, but eventually the little angel starts to get fussy so Ashton sets him down for his late morning nap. Once that’s taken care of, he decides that he’s feeling brave enough to confront Luke and make his first attempt at fixing this whole mess. He finds the nanny still hanging around the kitchen, currently drying the clean dishes with a towel to pass the time.

You see, Ashton knows for a fact that Luke is just trying to pass the time and keep busy, since they usually let the dishes air dry and there weren’t that many to clean in the first place, so he should’ve been done by now. This odd behavior is obviously caused by one thing and one thing only, and Ashton thinks that it’s about time to put an end to it.

“Need any help?” he offers, striding over to the sink and leaning back against the counter.

It comes as no surprise when Luke simply ignores him again, deciding to be as stubborn as ever. But since Ashton knows how to be just as stubborn, he doesn’t give up so easily in trying to earn Luke’s forgiveness. So, even though Luke doesn’t answer the question, Ashton makes himself useful and begins putting away the dishes.

“Don’t you think it’s strange how twins can have the same dream?” he says as a conversation starter. Of course Luke doesn’t say anything back, so Ashton continues since it’s an interesting topic in his opinion. “I remember the first time that Lillie and Annie had the same dream. I almost didn’t believe them at first, but according to google it’s actually not too uncommon. Crazy, right?”

Once again, Luke remains silent. He finishes drying the last dish and sets it aside for Ashton to grab, then turns away and looks around for anything else to clean. When he finds that the kitchen is completely spotless, he makes his way towards the exit to find something else to busy himself with. Not wanting to accept that he has failed already, Ashton calls out to him.

“Luke, wait!”

It almost feels like a miracle, when Luke actually listens and comes to a halt. He spins back around and actually _looks_ at Ashton for the first time this morning, instead of pretending to see right through him. Ashton hadn’t realized how deprived he is, because even this little bit of attention makes his heart race like crazy.

“Yes, Mr. Irwin?”

Suddenly, his beating heart crumbles into a million pieces. Being acknowledged by Luke in this way hurts even more than being completely ignored, and while he admits that he was in the wrong for pretending not to have any sort of feelings for the nanny, he doesn’t believe that he deserves _this_.

“ _Mr. Irwin_? Seriously?” He scoffs at the ridiculousness of such formalities, but Luke doesn’t even blink. It’s clear to see that he’s as serious as he’s ever been, and when Ashton takes a second to think about it, he supposes that he really does deserve this. After all, he’s the one who said that they should be more “professional” with each other, so that’s what Luke is doing. He’s behaving as the nanny, and nothing more.

“Well? Is there anything else that you’d like for me to do?” Luke asks, once the silence between them has gone on for a second too long.

Actually, there are plenty of things that Ashton would like for Luke to do. Firstly, he’d like for Luke to cut out this nonsense and give him a second chance. He’d like to be forgiven and reassured that he hasn’t completely ruined everything between them. Most of all, he’d like to be held in Luke’s arms and looked at as if he were made of the most priceless gem, just like Luke had done the night before when they were dancing. Ashton would like all of that and more, but he knows that he doesn’t deserve any of it.

Sighing, he shakes his head.

“It’s… nothing. Never mind.”

Luke continues standing there for another short moment, as if waiting for Ashton to say something else. For a split second, he actually looks a bit disappointed, but it’s gone in a flash and that blank expression returns to his face. He leaves the kitchen without another word, and Ashton resists the strong urge to follow him and do something daring.

 _Give it time_ , he tells himself to try and feel better. Luke will come around eventually, and then they’ll be able to talk this out like two civilized adults.

At least, that’s what Ashton is hoping for.

***

They’re running a little late that evening, due to Annie misplacing her ballet slippers and Lillie spilling grape juice all over her tutu, even though Ashton tries to warn her about eating or drinking anything while wearing it. However, super nanny Luke comes to the rescue, as usual. He locates Annie’s slippers in no time and quickly hand washes the stain out of Lillie’s tutu, while Ashton dresses Billie in the cutest little pair of overalls to ever exist. As soon as everything has been taken care of, they rush to load the children into the car and make their way to the performing arts center.

As it turns out, they’re not the only ones who are late. When they arrive, there are plenty of people rushing around the lobby and scrambling to get their daughters backstage. Ashton quickly follows them, though not too quickly since he’s carrying Billie in his arms. Luke and the girls follow close behind him, until they’ve finally made it to the meeting spot and are approached by Ashley, the ballet instructor.

“You made it, thank god!” she says, sounding very relieved. She kisses Ashton on both cheeks before kissing Billie on the forehead and saying hello to him, grinning when Billie reaches out to touch the glitter on her face.

“Sorry for being late, we had a bit of a hold up,” Ashton tells her, and he promises to go into details later.

“Well, what matters is that you’re here now,” she replies. Ashley then moves over to greet Luke and the girls, and Luke easily reciprocates when she pulls him into a tight hug. “Hey, you!”

They have a very brief conversation about something that Ashton can’t hear over the sound of people gathering in the large room on the other side of the curtains, but he feels a slight tug in his chest when Ashley says something that makes Luke laugh with joy. Since Luke has been taking the girls to their weekly ballet lessons over the past several months, it’s only natural that he and Ashley are friends now, too. There’s also the fact that Luke is a friendly person who is easy to talk to, so who wouldn’t want to be his friend?

Ashton just really misses being on good terms with the nanny. He misses being the one to make Luke laugh like that, and he misses the relaxed way in which they used to speak to each other. Now, everything is far too formal and he _hates it_.

Ashley bends down to speak with the twins. “Alright girls, you remember your places?”

When Lillie and Annie nod, she tells them to go and join the other ballerinas standing nearby.

“Have fun!” Luke calls after them, waving ecstatically because he’s just as excited as they are.

Ashton waves to them, too, and manages to get Billie to do the same before they exit the same way that they came.

Finding a seat in the large room isn’t easy, because the place is basically packed. Parents aren’t the only ones who have shown up tonight; there are also countless siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents in the audience as well. Ashton plans to record the whole thing so that he can send it to his mother, since he knows that she’ll want to see her darling grandchildren up on stage. She would have come to see them in person, if not for the fact that she lives far away and is even busier with work than Ashton is. Maybe that’s where he gets his workaholic genes from.

Luckily, Ashton is able to locate two vacant seats near the middle of the room, so that’s where he and Luke settle down at. Since Ashton will be the one recording, Luke takes Billie and places the child on his lap. The performance is meant to start in just a few minutes, and neither of them can hardly wait.

“The girls are supposed to be somewhere in the middle, so this should be the perfect spot to record,” Ashton says.

For the briefest moment, Luke forgets that he’s supposed to be giving Ashton the silent treatment and nods, saying:

“If not, then you can always stand between the aisles for a better shot.”

Surprised that he’s actually being acknowledged, Ashton instantly turns his head to look at the other man. It appears that Luke is just as surprised and perhaps even a little embarrassed, which explains the way that he blushes and quickly bows his head to focus on Billie instead. Whether it’s progress or just a casual slip-up, Ashton doesn’t really care. All that matters is that Luke probably doesn’t hate him after all, and that makes him feel really warm and fuzzy inside.

A few seconds later, the room goes dark to signify the starting of the performance. A moment after that, Ashley comes out on stage and waits for the applause to end before thanking them all for coming tonight. It’s pretty standard stuff, so Ashton takes this time to get the video camera ready. In the rows in front of him, he can see countless other parents and guardians doing the exact same thing.

Finally, Ashley announces her group of ballerinas and exits the stage as everyone begins applauding once more, this time even louder. When the curtains open and the music begins playing, Ashton instantly forgets all of the current drama in his life and focuses on his beautiful angels standing up there in the spotlight. He quickly waves to the girls in his excitement, even though the lights shining in their eyes are most likely preventing them from recognizing anyone in the audience. Ashton doesn’t really care, though; and neither does Luke, who also waves with just as much enthusiasm and adoration for _their_ girls.

The recital doesn’t last for long, but Ashton spends the entirety of it with the biggest and proudest smile on his face. Next to him, Luke giggles and coos throughout the entire performance, but Ashton keeps his eyes focused on his daughters. They don’t appear to be nearly as nervous as they had been this morning, and even when they miss a step or go too fast for the music playing in the background, they don’t seem to notice and they don’t stop smiling, either.

As soon as the show is over, Ashton becomes that embarrassing father who hops up from his seat and claps twice as loudly as everyone else, even going so far as to whistle and hoot. It’s impossible for the girls not to see him now, and they eagerly wave to him while bouncing up and down on their feet until Ashley escorts them off stage. It’s a really good thing that the video camera has a strap on it, otherwise Ashton would have dropped it by now.

It takes them a minute or two to exit the large room, since everyone else is trying to do the same thing. But they make it out eventually, and it isn’t long before Lillie and Annie come rushing towards them with the widest grins that Ashton has probably ever seen on their beautiful faces.

“You did it! You did it!” Ashton cheers, picking both of them up at the same time and twirling them around in his arms as they giggle into his neck. When he stops twirling, he gives each of them a big kiss on the cheek. “My little ballerinas were incredible! I am so, _so_ proud of you both!”

“Did you see me when I spinned around and around?” says Lillie, beaming with pride.

Ashton nods and kisses her again. “I did! And you looked like an angel.”

“Did you see us too, Lukey?” Annie asks, turning her head to smile at the nanny.

“Of course! You were the stars of the show,” Luke says. He smiles back at her and uses his free hand to tuck a loose strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, since he’s still holding Billie in his other arm.

Both of them fuss over the girls for a few more minutes before Lillie announces that she’s hungry, and Annie agrees with her twin sister. Since it’s their special night, Ashton lets them pick the restaurant that they’ll go out to for dinner, and it’s no surprise when they choose Shakey’s Pizza Parlor. They’re probably looking forward to playing around in the arcade more than they are to the pizza, but no matter. Ashton can definitely go for a few slices of pizza right now.

What does come as a surprise is that there’s a bit of a wait when they arrive at Shakey’s, most likely because it’s a Friday night and, well, who doesn’t love pizza on a Friday night? At least the wait isn’t too long, so they stand patiently in the waiting area until a table becomes available to them.

“And then you go like this, and then you do this, and then you jump!” Lillie explains, and she emphasizes the last part by actually jumping.

At the moment, the girls are teaching Luke their entire dance number, despite the fact that he just saw the whole thing on stage. But as always, he listens to them with a smile and expresses his interest by gasping and nodding every now and then.

Ashton watches the three of them with so much fond that it should be ridiculous, but this evening has turned out exactly the way that he had hoped for. While it’s true that Luke hasn’t said another word to him since before the performance began, at least he isn’t exactly pretending that Ashton doesn’t exist at all. For instance, whenever Ashton adds his two cents to the conversation that the others are having, Luke actually looks at him and acknowledges his existence; and one time, Ashton even catches him smiling a little, so it’s progress. Progress is what matters most.

“Hello there, little one!”

An unfamiliar voice prompts Ashton to turn around and locate the source of it, which is when he sees two middle-aged women standing just a few feet away. The dark skinned woman with the frizzy hair is the one who had spoken, and it’s evident because now she’s waving and smiling at Billie, who waves back at her and stares.

“You have a really beautiful family,” says the blonde woman standing next to her, and the comment is obviously directed at Ashton this time.

Surprised at first, a proud grin quickly makes its way onto Ashton’s face.

“Ah, thank you!” he says with genuine gratitude, then glances over his shoulder at the twins. Both of them are still absorbed in their conversation with Luke, who has their undivided attention. Ashton turns his attention to the kind women again. “We just came from a ballet recital, so the girls are still pretty wound up. But this is my little Billie. Say hi to the nice ladies, Billie!”

Ever the bashful but curious one, Billie only stares at the women before deciding that Ashton’s necklace is much more entertaining. Ashton just smiles wider and rolls his eyes, because somehow it always comes back to the necklace.

The first woman laughs and says, “What a cutie! How old is he?”

“About seventeen months now.”

“Aww,” coos the blonde woman. “He really is the cutest little thing. We’re thinking about adopting a baby girl just a tad younger than he is.”

Only now does Ashton realize that they’re a couple, and the bright smile on his face shifts into a much softer one.

“I say go for it,” he tells them with great confidence. “Sure, taking care of a child requires a lot of patience and unconditional love, but in my opinion, it’s probably one of the most rewarding things in life. Raising a child changes you, because you’re no longer living for yourself but for another human being as well. And I think that despite all of the hardships that you’ll face, it really is worth every second of it.”

Admittedly, Ashton surprises even himself when those words leave his mouth, but it’s only because he’s speaking from the heart. His three children are his greatest treasures, and nothing in the world can possibly change that. Not even for a moment.

The two women smile at each other and then they smile at Ashton, and he gets the sense that he has inspired them in some way.

“I think you’ve just helped us make a very important decision,” the blonde woman says, smiling excitedly as if she can hardly wait to be a mother.

In truth, Ashton had only been expressing his opinion and doesn’t think that it made total sense, but if they claim that his words are helpful, then he believes them. One of the servers return before Ashton can say anything else, and she notifies the women that a small table has just been made available for them. The women link their hands together and prepare to follow the server to their table, and just before they leave, the one with the frizzy hair says to Ashton:

“It was nice talking to you! I hope that you and your husband have a great night out with the kids.”

Honestly? Ashton’s jaw nearly drops to the floor. He quickly turns back around to see if her words have been overheard, but thankfully, Luke is distracted while showing the girls some of the pictures he’d taken of them on stage with his phone. However, Luke’s obliviousness doesn’t stop Ashton from freaking out internally.

Those women are under the impression that he and Luke are together. As in, like, _married_. Is that the type of vibe that they give off when they’re together? Do they really look like two men taking their children out for a fun night at a pizza parlor? _Seriously_? Ashton doesn’t know how to feel about this, or of how he’s _supposed_ _to_ feel about this. Yet, it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing, to be honest. As a matter of fact, after taking a few seconds to calm himself down, Ashton decides that it’s not a bad thing at all.

Basically, even when Luke is giving him the silent treatment, they still look like a couple. And according to those women, they make a beautiful family. Luke is included in the family part, just like he has been since the very first day that he arrived at the Irwin household. In fact, he’s basically an Irwin himself.

 _Luke Irwin_. Ashton likes the sound of that more than he probably should, but that’s not the point. The point is that two complete strangers are able to see just how well he and Luke seem to go together. If they can see the potential for something more, the beauty behind such a relationship between these two men, then why can’t Ashton?

This is the moment in which it suddenly hits Ashton square in the face. He’s been going about this whole thing all wrong, and since merely hoping that Luke will magically forgive him someday soon and things will go back to the way that they were is totally unrealistic, Ashton knows what he has to do now to fix things between them at last.

For starters, he has to tell the truth.

***

Billie and the twins fall asleep in the car on the way home, giving Ashton the perfect opportunity to actually talk to Luke without any interruptions or a way for Luke to simply walk away from him. The only thing now is for Ashton to figure out how to start the awkward conversation, because now he’s so nervous about being rejected that he doesn’t take his eyes off the road for a single moment. But even from the corner of his eye, he can see that Luke seems a bit tense, like he’s waiting for something to happen and is trying to prepare himself for whatever bullshit Ashton spits next. What he doesn’t know is that Ashton is done with the bullshit and the lies, and that he’s ready to admit his faults.

So, Ashton takes a deep breath before finally breaking the awkward silence in the car.

“I know that talking to me is probably the last thing that you want to do right now, so I just want you to know that you don’t have to talk to me at all. You can just… listen to what I have to say instead, and if you decide that it’s worth replying to, then you can.”

Although Luke doesn’t say anything, he does switch from staring out of the passenger window to staring straight ahead. It probably doesn’t mean anything huge, but Ashton chooses to believe that it means Luke is choosing to listen to him after all. And since that’s much better than nothing, he’ll take it.

“You’re right about everything that you said last night. I knew it then, and I know it now. It’s just that I was… I _am_ afraid, you see, and so I behaved just like a coward would. I hurt you and told myself that I was doing the right thing, when in reality, I was being… selfish. I was selfish for choosing to protect my own feelings instead of acknowledging the truth, and for that I owe you an apology. So I’m sorry, Luke. I really am.”

Next to him, Luke shifts in his seat a little but Ashton doesn’t turn his head to look. He keeps his eyes on the road and finishes what he has to say while he still feels brave, because who knows how long it’ll last before his fears and insecurities decide to kick in once again.

“The truth is… you make me feel certain things that I haven’t felt for anyone in so long, I’ve forgotten what it’s like.” Ashton shakes his head and chuckles quietly, knowing just how cliché and lame he probably sounds right now but not really caring. “And that’s part of what makes it so scary, you know, because I really don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like no matter what I do or don’t do, eventually I’ll end up ruining things for everyone involved and losing you in the process. But I can’t… I can’t bear the thought of losing you, Luke. I really can’t.”

Suddenly, Luke mutters, “Did you ever think that by pushing me away, you were basically doing the same thing?”

Only now does Ashton take a chance and glance in Luke’s direction, finding the other man staring at his hands in his lap. Since it’s night time and all, Ashton is unable to clearly see the expression on Luke’s face. Maybe that’s for the best.

“I didn’t. Well, not at first. But hey, I’ve never been one to make the smartest decisions,” he replies, sighing. “I hope that it isn’t too late to make much better decisions, though, and I say this because… well, you’re also right about one other thing. I really _do_ have feelings for you, intense feelings that I know aren’t going to simply vanish if I ignore them long enough. I mean, you’d think I’d known that by now, since they only seem to grow stronger every single day that I’m with you. I just wish that it hadn’t took nearly losing you to finally admit this to myself.”

There’s a silence between them for several seconds that are absolutely _agonizing_ , causing Ashton to grip the steering wheel a little tighter and anxiously bite the inside of his cheek as he waits. But after a while, Luke decides to speak up again.

“What are you… trying to say?” he asks, turning his head to face Ashton at last.

There are plenty of things that Ashton wants to say and even more things that he just can’t say yet, but as for now, he knows exactly what he’s trying to convey here. After taking another deep breath, he finally says it aloud.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need a little more time,” he slowly explains, taking a moment to glance at Luke and then back to the road ahead of them. “I’m not going to lie anymore, Luke. I really do _want_ you. I want you so damn much that it _hurts_ every second that I don’t have you. But first, I’d like to make sure that I’m ready and not just acting on impulse. The last thing that I want is to hurt you even more than I already have, so I just need a bit of time. I don’t expect you to wait for me, but…”

“I will,” Luke blurts out suddenly, and he reaches over to take one of Ashton’s hands in between both of his own. “If that’s what it takes, then I’m more than willing to wait for you, Ash. Really, I am.”

Surprised by the sudden eagerness displayed by the other man, Ashton struggles with how to react and what to say next. He repeatedly glances back and forth between the road and Luke’s face, which becomes illuminated by the multiple streetlights that they pass under. From what he can tell, Luke means every word that he says. Still, Ashton doesn’t want to get his hopes up just yet.

“And you’re—you’re sure about this? Really?” he asks, feeling cautious and nervous and a bundle of other emotions.

It surprises him for a second time when Luke actually laughs a little.

“Yes, I’m sure. All that I wanted was for you to tell the truth, and now you have, so… I want you just as much, Ashton. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to feel the same way. So yes, I can wait a little longer if it means that you’ll be with me, in the end. I’ll wait however long it takes.”

While those words are far better than anything that Ashton could have ever expected, he can’t help but feel guilty for making Luke wait. Well, technically he isn’t _forcing_ Luke to wait for him to get his shit together and move on, but that’s what it feels like. And Luke may be an adult who can very well make his own decisions, but people can be blinded by their feelings. Ashton just really doesn’t want to disappoint him, which is why he ends up saying:

“But… why? Why are you willing to wait for me when I’ve already broken your heart once?”

Luke hums for a moment as if thinking about his answer, and Ashton suddenly fears that he’s going to agree and change his mind, realizing that he deserves much better. However, what he does instead is give Ashton’s hand a gentle squeeze and smile at the older man.

“Because I believe in you,” he says, plain and simple.

He then leans forward and presses the softest kiss to the back of Ashton’s hand, as if to show that he truly means it. The gentle touch of his lips sends tingles flowing throughout Ashton’s entire body, and his immediate thought is that he needs to feel that incredible sensation again. His second thought is that he can’t believe how lucky he is to have someone like Luke by his side, and that he’s not going to mess things up this time. Now that he’s been given a second chance, he plans to make the best of it.

Ashton squeezes Luke’s hand in return and vows to himself that he’s going to cherish the other man to the best of his abilities.

***

With Luke no longer giving Ashton the silent treatment, things pretty much go back to normal within the Irwin household. The only difference is that when Luke smiles at him, playfully nudges him in the side, or gently touches his arm to get his attention, Ashton knows that there’s a much deeper meaning behind it and he’s no longer afraid to reciprocate. As a matter of fact, he starts becoming the one to initiate these affectionate gestures most of the time, wanting to show Luke that he is appreciated in more ways than one. The best part is that it seems to be working, because Luke never fails to blush.

Living in the same house as your crush and knowing that they feel the same way is a little weird, and by weird, it’s actually kind of amazing. While they still haven’t done anything about their mutual attraction, Luke continues to wait for Ashton just like he said that he would. To be honest, Ashton is certain that he doesn’t deserve someone as sweet and patient as Luke, but how can he resist pining for such a beautiful soul? The answer is that he positively can’t, and that’s why there’s no reason to fight it anymore.

Unfortunately, things don’t always happen in the way that people want them to, and it’s a lesson that repeatedly resurfaces in the life of Ashton Irwin. Just when he thinks that he’s finally ready to take that extra step forward, he ends up taking two steps back.

It’s been a while since the last time that Ashton has cleaned his bedroom. Even though he doesn’t leave dirty clothes and scraps of paper lying around, there’s plenty of dust everywhere and he can’t remember the last time that the carpet has been vacuumed. That’s why on his least busy day of the week, he decides to do a bit of spring cleaning. Okay, so technically springtime will be over in the next couple of weeks to make way for summer, but the fact remains that he spends most of the afternoon cleaning anyway.

It’s when Ashton is cleaning out his spacious walk-in closet that he stumbles upon a particular cardboard box. He doesn’t recognize it at first and decides on throwing it out, until he picks it up and realizes that it isn’t empty. Removing the lid, he finds that the small box is scattered with polaroids, random receipts and ticket stubs. He curiously picks up the first picture that he can get his hand on and his expression instantly softens, when he sees the image of Charlotte smiling back at him. She’s wearing a dark pair of sunglasses and a blue bikini while sitting on top of white sand, which serves as the ultimate hint to where this picture had been taken.

They had been on a trip to Jamaica at the time, and this is one of its many gorgeous beaches. The memory feels fresh in Ashton’s mind, since it’s only been three years since then. He remembers trying to capture the picture by surprise, but Charlotte was always well aware of his schemes. He also remembers her decision to keep everything from their trip, from pointless receipts to ticket stubs, to remind her of every single moment that they spent together in their own little paradise.

For that entire week of their lives, they had been happy.

Ashton suddenly drops the box to the floor, not caring that most of its contents are scattered along the carpet as a result. The only thing that he can think of right now is something very important that he has only just remembered, and it’s all thanks to the memories that those pictures have brought back from a place hidden deep within his mind. And then it’s as if everything comes crashing down again, flooding him with guilt and disgust because of what he’s done.

Or rather, what he _hasn’t_ done because that’s the problem, you see.

He has failed to remember.

***

The sound of a glass bottle sliding against tile startles Luke when he comes out of the bathroom. Due to the fact that it’s nearly one in the morning and everyone is currently in bed, his initial thought is that there’s _danger_ lurking downstairs in the kitchen, and suddenly he can’t recall whether or not he set the alarm before heading to bed. If it turns out that he hasn’t, then any resulting tragedies will be entirely his own fault. Of course, this also means that he has to solve the issue by himself.

Luke grabs a metal baseball bat from the equipment closet before quietly descending the staircase, hoping to sneak up on the possible burglar and take him by surprise with a nice swing to the skull. Although it’s a good plan, he doesn’t look or feel nearly as brave as he imagines how it’ll all go down in his head. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll be lucky enough to scare the bastard off and avoid a fight altogether! Yeah, that’d definitely be his best option, as well as his most preferred.

With his nervous heart beating heavily in his chest, Luke rounds the corner leading into the kitchen and prepares to start swinging wildly. However, it surprises him even more when he finds none other than Ashton sitting on the floor in front of the sink with a bottle of wine in his hand. There’s another bottle lying near his feet, clearly empty now, and suddenly it all makes sense. The sound of the empty bottle rolling across the floor must’ve been the noise that Luke had heard only a minute ago.

“Jesus Christ, Ashton… I hope you know that I almost hit you with this thing,” Luke says, exhaling a sigh of relief and lowering the bat. Ashton looks up as if noticing him standing there for the first time, and suddenly Luke realizes that something is definitely off about him. “Are you… alright? Why are you sitting on the floor? I thought you went to bed hours ago because of you weren’t feeling well.”

For no apparent reason whatsoever, Ashton giggles. He giggles for several seconds before raising the wine to his lips and drinking straight from the bottle. Since Luke knows that Ashton _never_ drinks from the bottle like this, he instantly begins to worry.

“So you’re drunk,” he mutters, stating the obvious.

“Whoops. Guilty!” Ashton replies, and then he giggles again as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.

Luke sighs a second time and sits down across from Ashton with his back up against the island. He’s never seen Ashton get drunk before now, knowing that the older man is much more of a casual drinker and doesn’t seem to be the irresponsible type. This obviously means that something is wrong, _very_ wrong, so he’ll just have to talk to Ashton and drag the truth out of him.

Luke holds out his hand. “Wanna share?”

Ashton stares at it for a moment that stretches on for a little while, but eventually he hands the bottle of wine to Luke and tells him that he’s welcome to drink his sorrows away, too. Luke only takes a small sip of the liquid before setting it to the side with no intention on handing it back. Ashton has had more than enough alcohol for one night.

“Is that what you’re doing, then? Drinking your sorrows away?”

Ashton starts to laugh again but he stops only half a second later, going completely silent all of a sudden. He brings his knees up to his chest and slowly nods, though the answer is as obvious as anything. The only information missing now is _why_ he’s drinking like this. What caused the sudden change when he’s been so much happier lately, and what can Luke do to make things right again.

“Today was the ninth of June,” Ashton murmurs quietly.

“It was,” Luke agrees. He really doesn’t know what this has to do with anything, but hopefully it will lead to the center of the problem.

“That means that tomorrow is the tenth… June tenth. Charlotte’s birthday.”

Luke doesn’t mean to gasp out loud, but he thinks that it all makes sense now. Tomorrow—well, technically today since it’s past midnight—would have been the birthday of Ashton’s wife, had she still been alive. Getting drunk on the kitchen floor clearly means that Ashton really misses her, and although seeing him like this is rather painful, who is Luke to judge? He’s had his fair share of grieving and knows that everyone grieves in different ways. As long as Ashton isn’t doing anything to hurt himself, then it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

Now that he knows the reason behind this odd behavior, Luke is just about to offer his condolences when Ashton begins speaking once more.

“We went to Jamaica three years ago on her twenty-fifth birthday. She’d always wanted to go. It was only the second time that I’d ever left the country, the first time being for our honeymoon. It’s strange, I haven’t thought about our time in Jamaica in ages and now it’s like it was only just yesterday…”

Ashton randomly laughs again, but it’s a lot different from his previous drunken laughs. This one sounds quite bitter in nature, and perhaps even a little sad, unless Luke’s ears are deceiving. But he can tell from the sudden anger and frustration on Ashton’s face that he isn’t being deceived at all.

“But guess what? The only reason that I know it’s her birthday tomorrow is because I found pictures from that vacation and remembered. I had actually forgotten, Luke. Charlotte’s birthday. I forgot about it. What kind of a piece of shit person _forgets_ their own wife’s birthday, dead or alive? Me, that’s who. I should have thought about it weeks ago and yet… I fucking forgot.”

It’s obvious now that Luke had been wrong. Or, at least only half correct about his observation. While it’s true that Ashton misses his late wife, what’s really bothering him at the moment is that he hadn’t remembered her birthday sooner, and now the guilt is clearly eating away at him. However, Luke doesn’t think that he should be treating himself so harshly.

After all, birthdays mean a lot more to people when they’re still alive than when they’re, well, _not_. And it’s entirely possible that Ashton hadn’t remembered because he’s been thinking more positively lately and trying not to dwell on the past, so Charlotte’s upcoming birthday had probably been too painful to think about. It makes sense that he would subconsciously ignore it completely.

When Luke speaks, he uses a soft tone to hopefully soothe the other man’s pain.

“Hey now, don’t beat yourself up about it. Things have been really… _different_ lately and you’ve been busy with all sorts of things, so don’t feel bad. At least you remembered her birthday the day before, right? This means that there’s still time to do something special to honor her memory, if that’s what you’re planning to do.”

Unfortunately for Luke, Ashton basically ignores all of that as if he hadn’t been listening to a single word.

“I didn’t deserve her,” he mutters, and in a much louder tone he repeats, “I really didn’t deserve her. I don’t deserve you, either. I don’t deserve anyone. I don’t… don’t deserve to be happy at all, honestly.”

Sensing an inevitable disaster if this train of thought continues, Luke starts to stand up and tries to pull Ashton with him by tugging on his arm.

“No, no, you don’t mean that and it’s not true. You’re just drunk and upset and that’s okay. Come on, let’s get you back to bed, alright?”

Ashton whines and resists the entire time that Luke works to pull him to his feet, but as soon as he manages to do just that, Ashton snatches his arm from Luke’s grip and walks backward until he hits the sink, rapidly shaking his head as he goes. With a surge of sudden anger, he shouts:

“No, Luke, _you_ don’t get it, okay—I fucking killed my wife!”

Luke freezes where he stands, confused and shocked by such a bold confession.

“What do you mean? Ash, you told me that she died during childbirth. There’s no way that you could’ve controlled any of that…”

Even so, Ashton shakes his head. “But it’s all my fault, don’t you see? _I’m_ the one who suggested that we have another baby. She never would have died if I hadn’t been so… so…” Ashton trails off with an exhausted sigh, and when he glances up to meet Luke’s eyes, his own are filled with tears.

“We weren’t doing so good, Charlotte and I. Well, our marriage. It wasn’t… we loved each other, yeah, but we both knew that we weren’t _in_ _love_ anymore. Neither of us wanted to admit it, and we didn’t wanna admit that her parents had been right all along. We really were too young to marry… they always said so, and that’s part of why we did it in the first place. We wanted to prove that we could do it, that we were _happy_ together and that nothing they said or did could stop us from being with each other. Except…”

Ashton huffs out another bitter laugh.

“Marriage is fuckin’ tough, you know, and then we had the twins and things only got tougher because being a parent is so much harder than it looks. I-I thought that having another baby would remind us of how happy we were when our daughters were born. I thought that it would remind us of how much we loved each other and would stick together ‘til the end, and yet…”

Neither of them say anything for a while. Ashton stares down at the bottle of wine as if it’ll suddenly appear in his hands if he concentrates hard enough, while Luke struggles in finding an appropriate response to all of that. To _any_ of that. He’s just so overcome with sorrow and empathy for the other man, now that he knows the whole truth and the reason that Ashton blames himself. Luke can only imagine how it must’ve felt when Lillie and Annie used to blame their father for making their mother go away, not knowing that Ashton already blames himself for that very thing.

But the fact remains that he’s wrong. He’s wrong about being the cause of Charlotte’s death and he’s wrong for blaming himself. Sure, it’s incredibly easy to blame oneself, but that doesn’t make it okay.

“Ashton, I… I never knew. I’m so sorry,” he mutters, and in a more firm tone, he adds, “But it’s not your fault. And consider this for a moment: if you hadn’t made another baby together, then Billie would have never been born. So I understand why you’d think this way, but you have to believe me when I say that it really isn’t your fault.”

“No,” Ashton says, stubbornly shaking his head and refusing to listen. “You still don’t understand, Luke. I ruined everything for us, just like I always do, but you can’t possibly understand that because you don’t understand anything at all, you just—”

“But I _do_ understand!” Luke interrupts, speaking over his rambling. “I understand because that’s exactly how I felt when I lost my parents, so don’t you dare try to tell me that I don’t understand when I do. I understand because I’ve _been there_.”

This time it’s Ashton’s turn to be in shock. It takes a bit of effort to see past his own drunkenness in order to focus on Luke’s face and gather whether or not he’s being serious here, but what reason would he have to lie about something like that? Ashton remains stunned in silence, trying to wrap his head around the apparent fact that Luke’s parents are dead. Has he ever mentioned their passing? Ashton doesn’t think so. Luke hardly ever mentions anything about his own life, and maybe this is the reason why. Maybe it’s too painful for him to talk about.

That is, until now.

Speaking ever so quietly now, Luke goes on to say, “You’re not the only one to lose someone you loved. I lost my parents when I was eighteen, because… because I was being foolish. Remember when I mentioned how overbearing they were? Well, I thought that I’d be able to escape that when I got to college, and _god_ , that first year was simultaneously the best and scariest time of my life. Never had I tasted so much freedom as I had then, and I was having such a good time that I refused to go back home for the summer.

“So you know what my parents did? They came to me instead. They planned to surprise me by just showing up one day, but… they never made it. They were in a car accident on the way there because life fucking sucks sometimes, and good people die for no reason. Of course I ended up blaming myself for that. Nearly dropped out of college and thought about killing myself every single day. I’m not ashamed to admit it. But you know what? I didn’t give up and I kept going, because that’s what you do for the other people in your life who still love you. I still had my brothers, my friends, and the children that I worked with twice a week at a daycare. These innocent, little bundles of joy reminded me of what it was like to find happiness in even the simplest of things.”

Whether or not Luke notices the stream of steady tears rolling down his cheeks or the way that his voice cracks a couple of times, he doesn’t seem to care. Neither does Ashton, who may be crying even more than Luke is at this point. He’ll blame it on the alcohol later, but for now, he keeps silent and listens to every word that Luke says to him.

“Yes, you may have lost your wife and I _know_ that it hurts. On some level, it will always hurt. But blaming yourself doesn’t make things better and it certainly doesn’t help. You wanna know what _does_ help? The fact that you still have your children. You and Charlotte made such beautiful, wonderful children and you have to live for them now, understand? Your children love you so damn much, Ashton, and so do I.”

Suddenly it’s as if Ashton’s entire world has been turned upside down. His eyes drastically widen as those last three words echo within his mind, every other thought diminished into nothing. All that matters to him now is a confirmation of such a statement.

“You… You love me?” he asks in a whisper, afraid that if he speaks any louder than this, the universe will hear him and decide to mess things up just as it always does. “In what way…?”

Luke, who apparently hadn’t noticed his own little slip-up at all, stammers for a moment. His eyes go even wider than Ashton’s and despite the darkness within the kitchen, Ashton can detect a visible blush rising to his cheeks. It’s absolutely the cutest thing, but since Ashton is also in shock right now, there’s just no room to tease the other man.

Luke gulps nervously before saying anything, and Ashton watches as the Adam’s apple in his throat bobs up and down.

“I… I guess in all the ways that… that you can love another person?” He shrugs in a way that’s less of an actual shrug and more like a nervous movement of his broad shoulders. “I-I don’t know, I just know that I do.”

Does any of that make total sense? Not quite. Does Ashton actually care whether or not that it does? Not really. He only cares about the fact that Luke really _does_ love him. Like, he honestly feels that way about Ashton and he isn’t lying. Ashton knows that he isn’t, because he trusts Luke and Luke trusts him right back.

After a brief, slightly awkward silence, Ashton takes a few steps forward to close the short distance between them. He takes one of Luke’s hands into his own and he uses his other hand to cup Luke’s cheek, urging the younger man to look at him. Eventually Luke stops avoiding his gaze and stares back into his hazel eyes, and what Ashton finds within Luke’s sky blue pair is uncertainty. He’ll just have to do something about that, then.

“I’m sorry, Luke. I take it all back,” he whispers, letting his thumb stroke away the stray tear falling down Luke’s cheek.

Luke swallows twice before whispering back, “I… I don’t understand?”

Ashton simply smiles at him. “Despite all of the bad things that have happened in the past year and a half, I’m… really grateful. Wanna know why? Because all of it has led me to meeting you, so I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

The brightest, most beautiful smile spreads across Luke’s face, and it’s another thing that Ashton is grateful for. Seeing Luke smile makes him feel a whole lot happier than seeing Luke cry, and so Ashton makes another vow to himself.

Ashton vows to be the person to make sure that that beautiful smile never goes away. And whenever it does, he’ll still be there to ensure that Luke starts smiling again. Always smiling.

Because he has wasted so much time as it is, Ashton tilts his head and kisses Luke. The feeling that he gets from having his own lips pressed against Luke’s is so much more intense than the feeling he’d received when Luke kissed his hand in the car. The reasons behind the two kisses are entirely different, too. Luke kissing Ashton’s hand had been to reassure him that there was someone who believed in him. This kiss is Ashton’s way of showing that he believes in _them_. Himself and Luke. Together. He believes in what they have with each other, so much that he can’t express it with words.

Ashton gets the feeling that it’s the same way for Luke. It only takes a split second for the other man to come to his senses and kiss Ashton back with so much emotion behind it, it nearly knocks him off his feet. Neither of them can even begin to express just how much they’ve wanted this, but since kissing each other senseless is the next best thing, that’s precisely what they do.

Palms pressed against Luke’s shoulders, Ashton leads him backwards until he’s pressed up against the kitchen island. They don’t break the kiss for even a second, both of them far too deprived and far too eager to explore this new feature of their relationship. Luke tastes like, well, like nothing that Ashton can describe. He’s sure that his own mouth is tainted with the flavor of strong wine, but Luke doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest. As a matter of fact, he hums at the delightful taste and deepens the kiss.

When it comes to the point where they’re practically grinding into each other, desperate for something more, only then does Ashton pull away.

“Wait,” he pleads, breathing heavily against Luke’s swollen lips. “I… I want to do this the right way.”

Luke raises an eyebrow, concerned, but clearly not that concerned if the way that he keeps glancing down at Ashton’s lips means anything. Honestly, it’s almost enough to make Ashton give in to his strongest desires. Luckily, he has more will than that.

“I wanna take you on a date first,” he confesses, grinning from ear to ear. “Think about it, I’ll be sober and you’ll be wearing something other than striped pajama pants. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

When Luke giggles adorably, Ashton takes that as an agreement.

“You deserve to be treated right, so that’s what I plan to do.”

Luke nods once and says, “Okay.”

“Okay? Is that really all that you have to say?” Ashton teases, now that he’s definitely in the mood. It doesn’t surprise him when Luke rolls his eyes.

“Forgive me, _Mr. Irwin_ , but it’s been a long and… emotional night, so I’m a bit tired.” As soon as he says that, Ashton ends up yawning and both of them laugh afterwards. “Evidently, so are you. What do you say we get to bed now, huh?”

Although Ashton nods in agreement, he doesn’t look so sure of himself. Sensing this, Luke asks him what the problem is. For the first time, Ashton doesn’t feel embarrassed about asking for help.

“I’d just… rather not be alone tonight,” he mutters, already uncomfortable just thinking about sleeping in his too-big bed all by himself. Still, it might be too much to ask Luke to share a bed with him, so he really doesn’t want to push it.

But as it turns out, Luke doesn’t seem to mind this, either. He smiles, nods his head, and then takes Ashton’s hand into his own.

“Come on, then.”

***

Ashton awakens the next morning to the sound of a door being slammed, followed by Billie’s cries. The sound of footsteps traveling up and down the hallway are accompanied by very familiar laughter, meaning that the girls are awake as well. Whatever it is that they’re up to, it probably isn’t something that Ashton would agree with, so he wills himself to get out of bed.

The first thing that Ashton notices when he opens his eyes is not the throbbing headache that’s currently threatening to ruin his morning, nor the fact that his mouth tastes much grosser than it usually does at this time of day. No, the first thing that Ashton notices is the pale arm draped over his waist and the soft puffs of air against the back of his neck. Before he’s able to turn over and investigate, the sound of another door slamming makes him jump up into a sitting position, surprised. The body sleeping next to him is also startled from their sleep, and Ashton turns his head to find Luke scratching the back of his own and groaning.

When their eyes meet, it all comes back to Ashton; getting drunk on the kitchen floor, overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow, arguing with Luke and then… and then _kissing_ him, and kissing him some more because he just couldn’t get enough. Ashton’s heart begins racing in his chest when he remembers Luke confessing his love. He wonders if Luke is remembering the same thing right now, because he looks away and glances down at the bedsheets instead, clearly blushing as a smile slowly appears on his face.

“Hey,” he mutters, and his morning voice sounds so groggy and _sexy_ that Ashton nearly moans. “Did you sleep well? How do you feel?”

Ashton nods but instantly regrets the movement, grimacing at the pain caused by his headache.

“Slept perfectly, but it seems now that I’m a bit hungover, so… could be worse, I guess.”

Luke chuckles softly and looks at Ashton in a way that makes him feel like he’s going to melt into a puddle of love-struck goo. It really has been a long time since Ashton has felt this way for anyone, and now he wonders how he had ever coped. The feeling is just too intense and distracting, as if nothing really matters anymore. All that matters is the man sitting next to him, but perhaps it’s not as scary as it seems. After all, Ashton trusts that Luke will cherish his heart, just as he’ll cherish Luke’s in return.

“Other than that, how do you _feel_?” Luke asks again, but this time he’s referring to something else entirely. Ashton can see it in his eyes and his soft expression, and it’s obvious that he’s trying to be careful by bringing up the subject. But thanks to all of the things that were said the night before, Ashton thinks that he’s finally ready to move on for good this time.

This brand new confidence brings a smile to his face, despite the hangover.

“Better. I feel a lot better,” he says truthfully. “And… I think that I’m ready to visit her today, too. I’ll bring the kids with me, buy a bouquet of her favorite flowers, and together we’ll wish her a happy birthday.”

Knowing just how important this is to Ashton, Luke reaches out and takes his hand. His smile says that he’s proud of Ashton. He’s proud of the older man for taking this next step, for becoming the father that his children need, and for finally starting to believe in himself as much as everyone else does. Things may not always be this easy, but at least now they’ll have each other for support.

Their little moment is interrupted by the sound of more running and Billie’s continuous whining. Ashton sighs and tries his best to ignore the pain in his head, since it’s about time that they get the day started at last.

“Can you—”

“I’ll handle it,” Luke says before he even finishes, and Ashton has never felt more relieved to have the perfect nanny—and _boyfriend_. “I’m sure that they’re just hungry and waiting for breakfast to be made, which… I should’ve fixed for them over an hour ago. Oops.” Luke hops out of bed and stretches his long, slender body. He glances back over his shoulder and says, “I’ll bring back some water and an Advil, alright?”

Ashton lets out another sigh, feeling even more grateful by the second.

“Thank you, Luke. You really are an angel.”

“I don’t know about _that_ , but…” Luke turns back around and leans across the bed to gently press his lips to Ashton’s. Desperately needing the kiss to last for as long as it possibly can, Ashton leans into it and cups the back of Luke’s neck with his hand, humming with content. When Luke eventually does pull away, he smiles and murmurs, “But I can certainly try to be.”

Luke pecks Ashton’s lips one more time for good measure, then disappears from the room to retrieve Billie from his crib and start breakfast for the family. _His_ family, because he’s just as important as everyone else. Ashton will gladly spend every day from this point forward proving it to him, but as for now, he shuts his tired eyes in order to more rest. He knows that he’s definitely going to need it to get through the day’s events.

***

“I need some advice.”

“Is this a test?”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s just that the last time you asked me for advice, it ended with you getting a really bad haircut and claiming that you’d never ask me for advice again.”

Flashbacks of the tragic decision regarding his hair appear within Ashton’s mind, making him cringe. Not wanting to remember it, he shakes his head to rid himself of the mental images.

“No, it’s not a test, nor does it have anything to do with my hair. Also, I forgave you for that because it was my fault for not asking Calum for advice instead.”

Michael gasps into the phone, betrayed. “That’s hurtful!”

“Just forget about all of that. I really do need advice from you now,” Ashton says, trying to sound as serious as he feels. “You see, I’m… well, the truth is that I’m going on a date really soon, except I have no idea where to take—”

“You have a _date_?” Michael loudly interrupts, and he sounds so shocked at this that Ashton is just a little offended. In the background, Calum’s voice can clearly be heard when he repeats those same words, sounding just as surprised as Michael is. They proceed to have a fast paced conversation on their own as if Ashton is no longer there, and when he briefly considers just hanging up and solving this problem on his own, Michael speaks up again. “Alright Ash, you’re on speaker now.”

Ashton sighs and replies, “Is this really necessary?”

“Of course it’s necessary,” Calum insists. In a much more cheerful tone, he adds, “So is it true? Do you really have a date? Who with? Is it _Luke_?”

“Well… um…”

His nervous stammering seems to be more than enough for an answer, because then Michael is boasting loudly about being right and Calum is urging him to calm his ego. Ashton starts to question how Calum knows about his infatuation with Luke, when he realizes that the answer is obvious. Of course Michael told Calum about his and Ashton’s conversation from so many months ago. They’re married, after all.

“Okay, yes, it’s with Luke. But guys! Enough fooling around, I’m running out of time here. What am I supposed to do? You two go on dates, right? Being married and all, you must have plenty of date ideas.”

“If you count pizza and Netflix, then sure,” Calum mutters, and Ashton can just imagine him rolling his eyes.

“Hey, that’s totally untrue!” Michael argues. “I mean, it’s _mostly_ untrue. But I take you out all the time, so don’t complain.”

Calum ignores that and addresses Ashton again. “Alright, listen up. You’ve asked him out already, right?”

“Uh-huh. I just don’t know where to take him.”

“Go for the ultimate combo. Dinner and a movie, but sit in the far back of the theater just in case he tries to blow you,” Michael suggests.

“That’s a terrible idea,” Calum scoffs. “I mean, _maybe_ he’ll blow you, but it’s not worth the risk. Most likely, you’ll just sit there for two hours and ignore each other. It’s fine if you’ve been dating for a while, but since this is a _first_ date, you’ll wanna start with something simple. Take him to a nice restaurant, a five-star restaurant since you can obviously afford it. This tells him that you value him and his opinion of you. And since you’ve been living in the same house together, it shouldn’t be hard at all to make conversation, either. Got all that?”

Ashton whistles, impressed. “Wow, I had no idea that you were such a guru when it comes to dating.”

“Of course I am. How do you think I seduced my husband?”

“Cal, you woke up with morning wood at my sleepover party and I jerked you off. I’d hardly call that _romantic_.”

“Shut up, you still ended up marrying me nine years later.”

“True.”

“So I should just take him out to dinner?” asks Ashton, wanting to get back on topic. “Isn’t that a bit… I don’t know, boring and cliché?”

“ _Ashton_ ,” Calum sighs, as if he’s just said the stupidest thing. “The whole point of a first date is to get to know each other. I mean, sure, you probably think that you know a lot about him as it is, but this is different than talking to him while he’s on nanny duty. This’ll be a totally different environment and both of you will have different motives, so who knows, maybe you’ll learn more about him on your date night than you have in the past few months altogether.”

Now that he thinks about it, Ashton supposes that all of that makes a lot of sense. And to be quite honest, he doesn’t _really_ know a whole lot about Luke. He knows some of the guy’s hobbies, how he prefers his eggs, and his favorite TV show to watch, but that’s about it. Hell, Ashton hadn’t even known that Luke’s parents were fucking _dead_ , so who knows what else the nanny has kept a secret for him? Or rather, what other information has been withheld because their relationship was supposed to be purely professional. Things are different now, so maybe Luke will feel comfortable to tell him more.

“Calum, you’re an absolute genius!” Ashton exclaims, feeling a lot more excited than nervous now.

“What about me?” Michael asks, pretending to pout.

Ashton rolls his eyes but laughs. “And so are you, Mike. I’ll save your date idea for another time and make sure to tell you how it goes.”

“If my instincts are true, he’ll definitely blow you. Hey, that rhymes!”

“Okay, okay. Thanks for all of your help, I’ll call you back later.”

Ashton hangs up before his friend says something even more ridiculous, although to be honest, he has to admit that receiving a blowjob in the back of a movie theater excites his inner teenage self. Maybe he’ll get that chance sometime in the near future. As for now, he’s going to search the internet for the _best_ five-star restaurant that he can find in all of Los Angeles city.

After all, Luke deserves nothing but the best of the best.

***

The much anticipated date night arrives that Friday. Michael and Calum are more than willing to babysit the children for the night, so Ashton drops them off at his friends’ place a few hours before he plans to take Luke out for the evening. This gives him plenty of time to decide on what to wear, panic when he can’t decide on what to wear, and the resist the urge to punch his mirror when he settles on what to wear but isn’t sure if it’s good enough. This violent urge quickly passes, because Ashton eventually decides that he looks damn good in his favorite crimson red button-down.

However, Ashton instantly comes to the conclusion that Luke looks even better when he sees what the other man is wearing. It’s no exaggeration to say that Luke in white is probably the eighth wonder of the world, and the color of purity is a nice contrast to the daring way that he decides to wear his own button-down shirt, leaving the first few buttons undone to reveal a bit of chest. The little gold necklace that he always wears disappears beneath the shirt, and Ashton is positive that he stares a few seconds too long. He hopes that he doesn’t look as red as his shirt when Luke catches him staring and teasingly winks.

They leave the house right on time to make their way down to West Hollywood. The drive there is mainly spent in silence aside from the music that Ashton puts on, most likely due to the fact that they’re both a bit nervous. They’ll have plenty of time to talk to each other over dinner, though. Ashton almost regrets not thinking of any particular topics beforehand, but just as Calum had said before, these things should come naturally to him since it’s not like he and Luke are total strangers. For now, Ashton can only hope that his best friend is right about that.

Earlier in the week, after researching fancy restaurant after fancy restaurant, Ashton had ultimately decided on taking Luke to The Nice Guy. It’s a nice enough place without being way too pompous, plus it’s somewhere that Ashton has actually eaten at before, so he knows that the food isn’t bad at all. Therefore, he’s not nervous about that aspect of their date when they finally arrive at the restaurant and check in for their scheduled reservation. It would seem that he’s made a wise decision, because Luke’s face immediately lights up with excitement as he gazes around the restaurant.

Once they’ve been led to their seats and their waiter leaves them to retrieve a pitcher of water, Luke tosses out his efforts to contain himself.

“Ash, this place is amazing! Like, it’s even fancier than the Cheesecake Factory,” he says, and then he gasps suddenly. “Oh my god, do you think that we’ll see someone famous?! Say, someone like Brad Pitt or Mila Kunis? Do you think that Will Smith eats here sometimes?”

All that Ashton can do is chuckle at the silly questions, amused. His laughter must come unexpectedly, because Luke stops glancing around at the other various tables and smiles at him.

“What?”

“It’s nothing,” Ashton tells him, shrugging. “I just find your excitement to be really… cute.”

It doesn’t surprise him at all when Luke’s smile turns bashful, and he warns Ashton that he’s going to get ditched if Will Smith really does show up randomly. Ashton replies that he wouldn’t be too offended if such a thing were to happen, because who in their right mind would pass up a chance to meet Will Smith? They share a laugh and agree that if the opportunity arises, they’ll approach the celebrity together, just so that neither of them ends up getting ditched.

“So, has anything on the menu caught your eye?” Ashton asks. He picks up his own menu from the table but it slips from his grasp, falling to the floor. What’s even more embarrassing is that he hits his head when he bends down to pick it up, and the resulting pain is enough to make him groan in agony as he rubs the back of his head. Even so, the pain is not nearly as unbearable as his own humiliation.

“Oh no, are you alright?” Luke inquires with the most concerned look on his face.

Ashton nods and chuckles at his own clumsiness, knowing that if he doesn’t force himself to relax soon, then he’ll inevitably be the cause of a much worse disaster.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just… a bit nervous, is all.”

The expression on Luke’s face softens drastically and he reaches across the small table, taking one of Ashton’s hands in his own. It’s enough to make Ashton go twice as red in the face, but surprisingly, it does help him to relax just a bit, and he hopes that Luke doesn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.

“It’s alright,” Luke says with a smile, “You’re not the only one who’s nervous, but at least you haven’t kicked me in the shin yet.”

Ashton frowns, confused. “Huh?”

“On the very first date that I ever went on, I accidentally kicked my date in the shin,” he explains, laughing to himself. “Another time, I ended up spilling water all over him. So as far as embarrassments go, I’m sure that I have you beat.”

Admittedly, hearing about those past screw-ups does actually help a little more, so Ashton laughs with him. A brief silence follows afterwards, where they merely gaze into each other’s eyes with the dopiest grins on their faces. Along with the fact that they’re still holding hands, Ashton would say that it’s not a _terrible_ start to their dinner date.

“There’s something that I must confess,” he says a moment later, breaking the silence between them.

Luke curiously raises his brows. “What is it?”

“The truth is that I haven’t been on a date since… well, I don’t even remember, but it’s been _at least_ two years. And if that isn’t pathetic enough, this is actually the first time that I’ve ever been on a date with another man before? Um, yeah, so I guess you can see why I’m so nervous about this.”

Ashton doesn’t know what sort of reaction he’s expecting, but he knows for sure that he isn’t expecting it when Luke actually _coos_. Well, he supposes that it’s a whole lot better than being teased or pitied, not that he believes Luke to be capable of such insensitivity. Nonetheless, he’s relieved.

“Well then, I have a secret, too!” Luke announces.

“Yeah?” Ashton replies, then gasps and pretends to be concerned. “If it turns out that you’re actually an alien, then I’m afraid that we might have some problems.”

Luke rolls his eyes but still ends up laughing a little.

“Okay, but if I really am an extraterrestrial, that’s not something that I’d confess,” he says, and then he continues in a more serious tone, “But um, you once told me that you’d like to be as open with me as possible, so I think it’s only fair that I do the same.”

Ashton slowly nods, remembering the night that he’d said such a statement. Although he has been yearning to know anything and everything about the real Luke, he has to admit that he’s a tad nervous now. But he’s sure that whatever it is, it can’t be _that_ bad.

“Alright. Go ahead, I’m all ears.”

“Don’t look so worried,” Luke tells him, laughing again. It would seem that Ashton isn’t as subtle as he thinks. “It’s just that you have a certain… image of me, which I guess is understandable because of my occupation. But I feel like if we’re gonna be a thing now, then you should get to know the other sides of me as well.”

Since it’s not nearly as bad as what Ashton had been imagining, he nods easily and gestures for Luke to continue.

“Basically, I’ve never actually been in a serious relationship before? But it’s not like there’s any deep or serious meaning behind it, I’ve just never wanted to be in one until now. I’m used to having much more casual things with people, you know, like casual hook-ups and flings. All of this is really new to me, so I’m kind of nervous about messing things up? But it’s also really exciting, and I feel like this… this _stability_ is something that I’ve always wanted without ever really knowing it. Um, I’m not sure if any of this makes a lot of sense, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m so damn happy to finally find someone who makes me feel complete.”

When Luke finishes, he takes a deep breath and grins from ear to ear, clearly relieved to get all of that off his chest. While it is a lot to take in, Ashton thinks that he gets the gist of it. He also thinks that it’s a bit strange, because surely someone much better than himself should have come along and swept Luke off his feet. After all, Luke has to be the most caring, selfless, and unique person that Ashton knows. There really isn’t anything to dislike about him, so it doesn’t make sense that he only felt complete after discovering Ashton and his whirlpool of problems.

Before Ashton can actually say anything, Luke takes his silence as a negative response and blurts out an apology, speaking so quickly out of nervousness that Ashton can hardly keep up with what he’s saying.

“Sorry, was that too weird? I hope I didn’t just shatter your opinion of me by vaguely mentioning all of the casual sex that I used to have. I mean, who even says something like that on a first date? It probably goes against every rule in the book of first date etiquette! Okay, forget everything that I just said, what I _meant_ to say was that I—”

“Luke, _breathe_ ,” Ashton says, cutting him off before he loses a lung. He waits until Luke actually does take another deep breath before speaking again. “Relax, none of what you’ve said changes how I look at you and it certainly doesn’t change how I feel about you, either. Honestly! I was just taken by surprise, because… I don’t know, I just assumed that someone as perfect as you would’ve had many boyfriends in the past.”

For whatever reason, his explanation actually earns a genuine laugh from Luke.

“Ashton, no one’s _perfect_ ,” he says, that adorable grin still plastered on his face. “Certainly not me, but thanks. No one has ever looked at me the same way that you do. It’s kind of… overwhelming, but in a really good way.”

Ashton can’t really explain why hearing this makes him feel so good inside, but it does. He doesn’t even mind that it takes a while for their waiter to come back and actually serve them, since he’s far too busy getting lost in Luke’s eyes again. He orders the first entrée on the menu just so that the waiter can leave again, allowing them to get back to their conversation and mutual ogling of each other.

People may not be perfect, but Ashton can say for sure that the rest of their dinner date goes as perfectly as he had ever hoped. It feels as if they sit there for hours, talking about whatever comes to mind and speaking of things that they used to be too afraid to bring up. Best of all, they don’t actually stop holding hands until their meals arrive, but when Luke resorts to nudging his foot beneath the table instead, Ashton instantly decides that he likes this new method of keeping physical contact with each other.

The drive home is a lot better than the drive to the restaurant, too. They sing along at the top of their lungs to catchy pop songs on the radio, laughing when they get the lyrics wrong or sing at the wrong key. It’s also worth mentioning that they go back to holding hands the entire time, just because they can and just because they can’t get enough. For the first time in a very long time, Ashton feels just like a teenager again. A teenager who is truly, madly, deeply in love.

It isn’t too surprising when they arrive back home and end up kissing each other on the sofa. One minute they’re continuing their conversation from the restaurant and drinking wine, and the next minute Ashton is struggling to decide where he wants to kiss Luke the most. He kisses Luke on the lips, he kisses his cheeks and his jawline, and he lets those kisses trail down to the other man’s slender neck. Ashton can hardly make up his mind, all that he knows is that he needs to kiss Luke _everywhere._

In contrast to Ashton’s desperate kisses, Luke hums softly and remains completely still against the sofa with his hands resting in his lap. It takes a few moments for Ashton to wonder if his compliance is actually hesitance, since he doesn’t seem nearly as eager to touch Ashton as Ashton is eager to touch him. Worried that he’s gone too far without permission, Ashton unlatches his mouth from Luke’s neck and pulls back to stare into his eyes instead.

“You can say no,” he whispers, just in case Luke feels a bit pressured under Ashton’s authority. Because even though they’re dating now, it doesn’t change the fact that Ashton has been Luke’s boss for the past handful of months. It’s entirely possible that Luke feels like he has to do this, which really isn’t the case at all, nor will it ever be.

However, Luke shows no signs of wanting to put an end to this. He simply stares back at Ashton for a moment, then his lips quirk up into a smile. He doesn’t give an immediate answer, though. He takes a second to stand up from the sofa, and before Ashton can jump to any conclusions, Luke leans down and takes both of his hands.

“Let’s go upstairs,” he whispers back, and now Ashton knows exactly what that smile suggests.

Honestly, only a fool would have to decline such an offer. Ashton hops up from the sofa and follows Luke out of the living room faster than he can even remember his own name. Before he knows it, he’s being led up the stairs and into Luke’s bedroom, probably because it’s much closer than Ashton’s and both of them are obviously desperate to explore each other’s bodies.

Once Luke closes the bedroom door behind them, Ashton awkwardly clears his throat.

“Are you okay with having the lights on? Or would you prefer to have them—”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish that sentence. Luke steps forward and kisses Ashton fiercely, taking him by surprise. Looks like they’ll be doing it with the lights on, which is the opposite of a problem in his opinion.

Luke works quickly in unbuttoning the front of Ashton’s shirt, removing it in lightning speed before quickly doing the same to the button and zipper of Ashton’s jeans. He does all of this without pulling away from the kiss, still determined to suck on Ashton’s bottom lip until it’s red and swollen like a balloon. While Ashton isn’t complaining in the slightest, it would be nice to do more than simply stand here while Luke does all of the work.

“Slow down, tiger,” Ashton murmurs, chuckling afterwards.

“Sorry, sorry,” Luke whispers back, kissing Ashton’s lips once more. “It’s just that I’ve—” He kisses them a second time. “Wanted this—” And then a third. “For so long…”

It doesn’t seem as if Luke is exaggerating, either. He presses plenty more kisses to Ashton’s lips, his chin, and down to his neck, letting his hot tongue slide down the skin and murmuring about just how _good_ Ashton tastes. His eagerness is almost dizzying. Ashton has never felt so desired before.

Not wanting to miss out on any of the fun, Ashton stops Luke from going down further and pulls him back up into another heated kiss, taking this moment to undo the rest of the buttons on Luke’s shirt, too. He slides both hands past the fabric hanging from Luke’s broad shoulders and tugs downwards, releasing Luke’s arms from their prison. It’s only fair that he gets to see the rest of Luke’s torso, now that his own is exposed. He breaks the kiss to glance down at the view, taking in the wonderful sight of the baby smooth skin along Luke’s stomach and the light, fine hairs along his chest, just barely visible in the illuminated bedroom.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how beautiful you are,” Ashton says, slowly dragging his right hand from the base of Luke’s neck to the dip in his pale chest. “Your body is just so… _long_ and smooth and soft around the edges—makes me wanna spend hours just tasting every inch of you.”

Ashton leans forward to press an open-mouthed kiss to Luke’s clavicle, savoring the feeling of the sharp bone beneath his tongue and the sound of Luke’s surprised gasp. He rests his hands along the other man’s hips and massages the soft skin with his thumbs, rubbing them in soothing circles and imagining how easy it’ll be to leave his mark.

“Tell me what you like,” Ashton murmurs. He places a trail of soft kisses all the way up Luke’s neck until he reaches his ear, nibbling on the lobe and enjoying the way that Luke’s entire body seems to shiver.

“I… I like…” Luke trails off with a soft moan, getting caught up in the feeling of Ashton’s mouth sucking a love bite into the area right behind his ear. He sighs, content as Ashton licks over the mark with the tip of his tongue, but says nothing.

“Well?” Ashton asks again, digging his fingers into the skin of Luke’s hips.

Luke swallows thickly. “I really… I _really_ like sucking cock and—Ash, please, I really need it—I need to taste yours, wanna feel it in the back of my throat as I choke on it.”

Having not expected all of _that_ to come from such a pure, angelic mouth, it’s safe to say that Ashton is more than surprised by it. He groans deep in his throat, imagining the wonderful sight of Luke, the _nanny_ , on his knees with a mouth full of cock. It’s absolutely sinful in the best kind of way, and Ashton is nodding before his mind can even catch up.

“Yeah, okay,” he breathes out, nodding again and licking his lips as they slowly curve up into a smile. “Never imagined you’d be this dirty.”

Luke cracks a grin and says, “It’s like I said earlier, you should get to know the other sides of me, too.”

He leads Ashton over to the bed and pushes at his shoulders, making him sit down. No more than a second later, Luke is kneeling down in between Ashton’s legs and tugging off his jeans with a look of great concentration, so Ashton lends him a hand by lifting his hips to make the job easier. As soon as Luke successfully rids Ashton of his underwear as well, it’s as if his eyes are glued to the sight of Ashton’s bare cock, now freed and resting against his thigh. When Luke shamelessly whines in the back of his throat, clearly eager to get his empty mouth around the prize in front of him, it really boosts Ashton’s ego.

“I think I really like this new side of you,” Ashton says, and then he intakes a sharp breath when Luke wraps a hand around him, pumping quickly and firmly to get him fully hard.

“Yeah?” Luke chuckles breathlessly and squeezes him at the base, laughing again when Ashton gasps and tosses his head back to stare up at the ceiling, knowing that he’s far too sensitive from not being touched by another person in so long. “I have another secret to share.”

“W-What? What s-secret—?”

“I’ve dreamt of this moment.” Luke pauses for a second. “More than once, actually.”

Ashton ends up laughing as well, just because, and then bites his bottom lip and squeezes his eyes shut as another moan threatens to escape him. Honestly, Luke’s mouth hasn’t even touched him yet but he can already feel the familiar heat rising in the pit of his stomach, warning him that he’s getting closer.

“Do you remember the trip to the beach a few months back?”

“I-I do. Of course I do.”

“During my nap, I dreamt of sucking you off right there on the beach, then you fucked me into the sand—or, was that a dream? I might’ve just imagined the whole thing while rubbing sunscreen all over you. I don’t really remember, but I definitely thought of it.”

“ _Luke_ —”

“I know, I know. I’m not the innocent nanny that I’ve been pretending to be, but if you think about it, things are a lot more exciting this way.”

Ashton grabs Luke by the wrist to cease his movements, and when Luke glances up to look into his eyes, he raises his brows high on his forehead.

“You gonna keep yapping, or are you planning to put that mouth to use like you said that you would?”

It instantly becomes apparent that Luke really likes the demanding tone that Ashton uses, because his mouth slowly curves up into the biggest smile and he replies:

“I’ve been waiting for you to say something.”

Whatever he means by that, Ashton doesn’t ask nor does he care to find out, once Luke _finally_ lowers his head and does what he’s told to do. He opens his mouth and goes down on Ashton’s cock like some sort of expert, not stopping until his nose is pressed up against the dark blond hairs at the base of Ashton’s crotch. The magnificent wetness and warmth earns another gasp from Ashton, whose eyes go wide as he watches the whole thing.

Luke stays in this position for several seconds, then slowly pulls back up so that only the head remains between his lips. He teasingly sucks on it for another moment, licking at the slit and humming at the taste of pre-come already dripping on his tongue. Eventually he pulls off and his lips make a popping sound.

“In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I really like being talked to,” Luke says, pausing to drag his tongue from the tip all the way down to the base, and Ashton lets out a pleased sigh. “I also really, _really_ love being told what to do? Um, I don’t know if you’re into that kind of thing, but…”

“Suck on them,” Ashton blurts out, and he honestly has no idea where it comes from. He can tell that Luke really likes it, though. Just as he said that he does. The younger man pauses and glances up at Ashton with wide, eager eyes, waiting to be ordered, so Ashton clears his throat and says, “My balls, I mean. Suck on them.”

From the way that Luke smiles, you’d think that he has just been told he’s won a million dollars, _not_ demanded to suck on another man’s scrotum. But alas, he smiles with just as much enthusiasm and nods, lowering his head again to do just that.

“J-Just like that,” Ashton sighs, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling. “Fuck, you’re so—you’re just so _good_ at this, Luke, I—”

Luke huffs out a breathy laugh against Ashton’s skin, dampened with saliva.

“No swearing, remember? Your rules, not mine.”

More than fed up with the teasing, Ashton grabs the soft hair at the back of Luke’s head and pushes his face closer, urging him to get back to work. It seems that doing this results in Ashton accidentally discovering yet another one of Luke’s many kinks, since Luke makes a _delighted_ sound at the sudden rough behavior. Ashton can’t help laughing a little.

“Is there—Is there anything that you’re _not_ into?” he teases. Luke only hums, since his mouth is currently full and all. “God, you’re such a… such a dirty little slut—wait, are you okay with me calling you that? Because if it bothers you then I won’t.”

Ashton loosens his grip on Luke’s hair and allows him to pull back and answer the question. Once he’s able to, Luke quickly shakes his head.

“I don’t really mind, you can call me whatever you want. But… but most of all, I like to be… praised?”

Luke sounds a tad hesitant as he utters the latter statement, as if he’s afraid that he’s pushing it too far by requesting such a thing. But to be completely honest, Ashton can’t think of anything that he’d rather do more than giving Luke the praise that he deserves. Besides, in his own opinion, it’s much more of a turn on than calling Luke names.

“Okay,” he says, nodding to emphasize his agreement. Then, he smirks. “How about going down on me again, huh? I’ll decide whether or not you’ve earned the praise based on how well you take my cock.”

That same, overly excited smile appears on Luke’s face again; and just like before, he wastes no further time, already taking Ashton’s cock into his mouth and eagerly bobbing his head like the cock hungry minx that he so obviously is.

As promised, Ashton gives Luke all of the praise that he deserves. He whispers and moans about how nice and wet Luke’s mouth feels, how skilled he is with his tongue, and how beautifully swollen his lips are when he briefly pulls up for air, letting his hand take over for a moment. Ashton discovers that this is something that he likes just as much; watching how Luke reacts to the praise, seeing the excitement in his dilated pupils and the fact that he’s so obviously rock hard in the jeans that still restrict him. Everything combined with the mouth around him brings Ashton closer by the second, which is actually a _bad_ thing because he hasn’t even penetrated Luke yet, and he thinks that that’s what Luke is hoping for.

So when Ashton is sure that he won’t be able to last for much longer if things continue this way, he uses the hand that he has placed at the back of Luke’s head again and pulls him up by his hair. Honestly, the beautiful sound of Luke’s resulting whimper is nearly enough to make him come anyway. If that isn’t torturous enough, Luke looks so fucked out already that Ashton can hardly wait to see what he’s going to look like after he’s had a dick up his ass.

“Stand up,” Ashton demands, and Luke whimpers again, most likely due to how deep and husky Ashton’s voice has become. It certainly is empowering to see the effect that he has on the other man, just from speaking and telling him what to do. Ashton has probably never felt more _alive_. “Now lose the jeans. Underwear, too.”

The speed at which Luke nods and gets down to business is quite impressive, Ashton has to admit. He takes this moment to catch his breath and regain his stamina while Luke quickly drops his pants to the carpet below, followed by his underwear. The sight of Luke’s hard cock springing back up and lightly slapping against his stomach makes Ashton drool at the mouth, his eyes focused on the bright pink head contrasting against the rest of his pale body. Luke squirms under his intense gaze, either uncomfortable from being stared at like this or excited to move on to the next part. Ashton can easily tell that it’s the latter.

“Fuck, you really are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever lain eyes on,” Ashton whispers, eyes scanning the other man from head to toe.

“ _Ash_ …” Luke suddenly whines.

“I know, babe, I know. Come here.”

Ashton doesn’t actually wait for Luke to step closer. He reaches out and pulls Luke closer to him by the waist, until he’s standing right between Ashton’s legs again. Knowing exactly what Luke is craving, Ashton wraps his big fist around Luke’s neglected cock and begins slowly jerking him off. Despite Ashton’s slow and gentle hand movements, Luke still exhales the most relieved sigh at finally getting the attention that he needs.

“What do you want, hm?” Ashton murmurs sweetly, pressing soft kisses to Luke’s flat stomach. “I’ll do anything for you, Luke. Just tell me what it is… tell me what I can do to make you feel good—to make you feel fucking _amazing_. Tell me, and I’ll do it for you.”

Just like before, Luke momentarily struggles to find his voice. He gets lost in the blissful heat around him, moving his hips forward to match the pace of Ashton’s fist. He lets out small gasps with each thrust, his eyes wide open but not really focused on anything in particular. It’s almost as if he hasn’t heard Ashton’s words at all, so Ashton lightly taps him on the thigh to get his attention.

“Tell me what you need, Luke.”

“Y-You,” Luke stammers, once he snaps out of his brief daze. “I-I need _you_. Inside of me. Fuck, I wanna… wanna sit on your cock, Ash, _please_ —”

Ashton nods and shushes him with another jerk of his cock, resulting in the prettiest moan he never thought possible. But because Ashton is just as excited and eager to feel Luke’s tight hole clenching around him, he decides not to waste time in getting to that next stage.

“I’ll fuck you nice and hard, then. I promise. But first we’ll need—”

“Got it,” Luke finishes before he can, leaning over to the bedside table to retrieve what they’ll need.

Ashton doesn’t question why the nanny keeps a box of XL Magnums and a bottle of lube in his nightstand, but after thinking about it for a second, he supposes that it makes sense. Luke probably went out and bought the necessary items during his weekly trip to the grocery store, most likely hoping to get lucky on their date night or sometime soon. A very wise decision on his part.

They end up doing it this way: Luke lies back against the pillows while Ashton scissors him open with two fingers, since Luke insists that he can handle two digits from the start. Ashton doesn’t argue with him, especially not when Luke is _thriving_ from being filled with just a couple of fingers. While Ashton fucks his hole and sucks bruises into his thighs at the same time, Luke squirms and moans at the top of his lungs with no shame, which is something that Ashton isn’t really used to. But then again, he’s not used to _any_ of this—you know, the whole part about having sex with another man? Yeah. So tonight has been full of pleasant surprises, bringing out a side to himself that he never even knew to be there in the first place.

“My god, you’re so fucking _loud_ and responsive,” Ashton murmurs, peppering kisses along Luke’s thigh until he reaches the pelvis, where he decides to suck another bruise right over the spot where upper leg meets crotch. When he realizes that Luke is now trying to stifle the sounds that he’s making, Ashton shakes his head and says, “Not that it’s a _bad_ thing, no, it—it’s not bad at all, really. It’s beautiful. Please be loud.”

It sounds as if Luke starts to laugh, but then Ashton’s fingers brush up against his spot and he ends up making this half-moan, half-muffled scream sound instead that’s equally as surprising as it is _sexy_. Luke seems to be embarrassed by his reaction, though; he drapes an arm over his eyes to shield himself and chews on his bottom lip, whimpering.

Truthfully? Ashton takes great pleasure in seeing just how embarrassed he is.

“You’re so goddamn hot, Luke. Can’t wait to see you bouncing on my cock,” Ashton growls, speeding up the already relentless movements of his lengthy fingers, thriving when Luke gasps loudly and arches his back from the mattress. “Yeah, that’s it, babe. Show me, show me how fucking good it feels.”

“Oh my—oh my god,” Luke gasps again. His chest is heaving and the muscles in his stomach contracts, obviously hinting that he’s close. “Please… Ash, please, just—I really need you to f-fuck me. God, I need you to fuck me, I need you _so fucking bad_.”

Sensing the urgency in Luke’s pleads as well as in his own aching cock, Ashton removes his fingers and scrambles to rip open the condom and slide it on. He barely manages to finish the task before Luke sits up and pushes him to lie down against the mattress, switching their positions. But because it’s even more exciting, Ashton sits up with his back resting against the headboard, which will allow him to kiss Luke and much more while being ridden. Luke seems to prefer this idea, too, because he wordlessly straddles Ashton and wastes absolutely no time in sinking down on his awaiting cock.

They sigh in unison, Luke’s eyes fluttering shut as he adjusts to the thick cock stretching his walls and Ashton trying his best not to buck his hips, yearning the friction to accompany the tightness around him. It’s just _so_ much better than using his own hand, which he’s had to do for far too long now. He has really missed the feeling of being inside of someone, and not just the sensation itself; he has missed the trust behind it, the _emotion_ and the feeling of vulnerability. Although it’s a little different from what he’s used to, it’s no less amazing in its own right.

“Oh my god,” Luke gasps for a second time, and again he gets that fucked out look in his eyes that says he’s there but he’s also _not_ there; at least, not completely. “You’re so… so _big_.”

The compliment of the century, perhaps. Ashton doesn’t attempt to control the smugness on his face. He opens his mouth to thank Luke and tell him that his pretty little cock is quite nice, too, when Luke experimentally grinds his hips forward, earning another gasp of pleasure from Ashton. He’s still rather tight despite the preparation beforehand, and Ashton’s eyes roll back in his head as Luke repeats the movement again and again, steadily gaining speed.

Luke rests a hand on Ashton’s chest and grips the headboard with the other hand as he rides Ashton past the point of no return. Somehow he’s being twice as loud as he had been before, endless moans escaping his lips the faster that he goes. His various sounds are even more sexual than the actual act of them fucking, and Ashton can feel himself gradually losing his mind as he grips Luke’s hips and watches his cock disappear and reappear, in and out of Luke’s beautiful hole.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Ashton begins to giggle, resulting in Luke glancing down at him with a confused little grin of his own.

“W-What’s so… funny?”

“I was just—just thinking,” Ashton starts to reply, his voice obviously strained with his effort not to cry out from the immense pleasure. He laughs again, breathless and feeling dazed. “Y-You really are a super nanny, aren’t you? Good at everything from making children smile and… and even good at riding dick! Is there anything that you _can’t_ do?”

Luke responds with an adorable giggle that ends in a high-pitched moan as he resorts to slowly grinding his hips forward again, deep and firm with his skillful movements.

Breathlessly, he replies with an arrogant smirk, “That’s for m-me to know and you to find out.”

“I will,” Ashton challenges him. “Gonna find out everything there is to—oh, _fuck_ —Luke!”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish his sentence when Luke starts bouncing on top of him again, knocking the air from his lungs and rendering him helpless to the blissful pleasure. He knows for sure that he’s not going to last long, and it’s a real shame, because a feeling as wonderful as this should be able to last _forever_.

“What’s the matter?” Luke asks in a tone that’s clearly meant to be teasing. He digs his nails into Ashton’s heaving chest and tugs at the hairs, just firmly enough to make it hurt a little. With a grin that’s equally as teasing as his tone, he says, “Can’t handle me? Is—fuck, is that it, _Mr. Irwin_? Am I too much for you?”

If one thing is too much for Ashton to handle, it’s the nonstop teasing and the way that Luke is so obviously egging him on, urging him to prove himself. While it’s true that he’s overwhelmed because it’s the first time that he’s had sex in, like, _two years_ , he can’t handle being teased about it. Ashton is a _winner_ , okay, and winners don’t give up and they certainly to come too early.

Well then, he’ll just have to prove Luke wrong.

“You don’t think I-I can handle you, huh?”

“I don’t know,” Luke says, staring back at him with just as much intensity. “Can you—?”

Ashton changes the game when he suddenly flips them over without warning, and Luke gasps as his back hits the mattress with a soft thud. His eyes go wide when Ashton sinks into him again, filling him up so nicely that it sends shivers all throughout Luke’s body.

“Still think I can’t handle you?” Ashton takes Luke’s right ankle into his hand and lifts that same leg over his shoulder to shift the angle a bit, and as he leans forward to get close again, the head of his cock brushes against Luke’s prostate, causing him to cry out and squeeze his eyes shut. He tilts his head back into the pillow as the pleasure ricochets through his body, and Ashton grins at his own success. “Huh, Lukey? Answer me.”

Now that the leverage is all his, Ashton snaps his hips forward with such force that Luke cries out a second time, jolting with the movement. His strong response has to be the sexiest thing that Ashton sees, and he knows that he needs to witness _more_. Ashton begins to thrust his hips, setting a steady pace to match the excitement flowing through his veins.

“What do you s-say now, Luke?” he growls, biting down into the sweaty skin of Luke’s neck and chuckling roughly when Luke whimpers in response. “Tell me, babe, I wanna hear you say it.”

“Y-Yeah,” Luke finally answers, his voice cracking. “You can, yeah, _mh_ —you can.”

“I can what?” Ashton pulls himself all the way out before slamming back in again to get a better response.

“Fuck!” Luke gasps, eyes widening. When Ashton repeats the question, he blabbers as coherently as he can, “Y-You can fuck me, Ash, you really can—god, and you fuck me so damn _good_ , I can’t—I can’t stop sh-shaking…”

Satisfied with the answer, Ashton rewards Luke with a kiss. Well, it’s less of a kiss and more of them touching mouths while breathing in each other’s air, but it’s just as intense as any other contact of lips. With each powerful thrust of his hips, Ashton can feel himself getting closer again, and the same can easily be said for Luke. His whimpers and moans grow louder by the second, his hands fist the sheets beneath them and his body really is shaking now, as if preparing to explode at any given moment.

“Luke,” Ashton moans, repeating his name with every other thrust. “You’re so good for me too, babe, so good and _tight_.”

Ashton continues giving him random praise like this, knowing exactly what it does to Luke and knowing just how much the other man loves it. Soon enough, Luke’s breathing picks up as a warning and he tugs Ashton even closer to him, driving his cock in deeper and connecting them as one.

“Ash, I… oh my god,” he whines, and his entire body starts to tense up. “Fuck, I-I’m coming—”

All at once, Luke falls completely silent. His eyes flutter shut and his cock twitches in between their stomachs, shooting white stripes of come along their dampened skin, so much that it’s actually kind of surprising. But even more than that, it’s the hottest fucking thing that Ashton ever seen, and it’s just enough to make him join Luke in that blissful state only seconds later.

The intense feeling is precisely like being thrown over a waterfall, only the harsh landing is replaced with a feeling of great satisfaction and an unbelievable amount of _warmth_. Ashton is seeing stars behind his closed eyelids, and he spends a long moment catching his breath with his face pressed to Luke’s neck. When he starts to come down from the heavens above, he raises his head to see how Luke is faring.

Ashton chuckles quietly when he sees that Luke still has his eyes shut.

“Hey,” he whispers, nuzzling Luke’s reddened cheek with his nose. “You alright?”

It’s when Ashton doesn’t receive an answer that he begins to panic a little. He pulls out of Luke and hovers over him, then lightly taps his cheek and kisses his lips while calling out his name.

“Luke. Hey. Baby? Wake up, please…”

Finally, Luke’s nose twitches adorably and he hums as he begins to regain consciousness, blinking several times before his eyes are able to focus on the face above him. He wears the dopiest grin when he sees that it’s Ashton, and then he giggles softly for no apparent reason. Or, maybe he’s so fucked out that his brain has been scrambled like an egg.

“So good,” he whispers, then tilts his head up to kiss Ashton on the lips.

“Holy shit,” Ashton sighs out, feeling so relieved that Luke appears to be alright. Well, mostly alright. “Luke, you scared the hell out of me. You blacked out just now, did you know that? Not for long, but… Jesus Christ, are you okay? Has this ever happened to you before? Maybe I should call an ambulance or… or I’ll take you there myself.”

“Ash, it’s okay, I’m _fine_ ,” Luke says to reassure him. He giggles again, suddenly appearing bashful. “You just… fucked me so good that I blacked out, I guess? It’s never happened to me before now, but I’ve read about it and it can happen.”

Ashton blinks several times before he decides that he believes such an odd statement.

“I… I made you do that? Was it really that good?”

Luke rolls his eyes, but he’s still grinning. “ _Yes_ , you did, and it was fucking _amazing_. Now stop staring at me like that and cuddle me, please.”

Although still a little bit worried, Ashton decides to just… go with it for now. He quickly gets rid of the dirty condom and cleans the both of them up as best he can, before joining Luke beneath the warm and welcoming covers. Unlike the first time that they shared a bed, when Ashton had been the little spoon, this time they decide to face each other. It’s nicer this way because Ashton can press as many kisses to Luke’s face as his heart desires, but it isn’t long before Luke ends up falling asleep.

No surprise there, blacking out after having an intense orgasm can leave a person feeling truly exhausted.

***

Ashton still feels like he’s on cloud nine when he awakens the next morning. Realizing that he isn’t in his own bed and not quite used to the unfamiliar mattress against his back, he awakens to the sight of golden blond hair in front of his face and the feeling of a nose pressed to his collarbone. Luke is clearly still asleep, giving Ashton the chance to take in the angelic features of his sleeping self.

But after the events of last night, Ashton knows one thing is for certain: Luke is _definitely_ not the innocent angel that he comes off as. He’s feisty, he’s kinky, he’s _loud_ and so many other things that makes him that much more interesting and _real_. Just thinking about all of it begins to excite Ashton again, and he’s already eager to see that sultry side of Luke once more.

“Do you always watch people when they’re sleeping?” Luke murmurs, taking Ashton by total surprise and nearly giving him a heart attack. For the millionth time, probably.

“No, I—I was just…”

Ashton’s nervous stammering earns a chuckle from Luke, who yawns afterwards and presses a gentle kiss to Ashton’s bare chest.

“I’m kidding, it’s not like I wouldn’t do the same thing.” Luke pulls back enough to gaze into Ashton’s eyes, giving him a sleepy smile and a wink to go along with it. “Morning, stranger.”

Ashton is suddenly overwhelmed with the strong, _strong_ urge to kiss Luke again. Instead, he swallows thickly and smiles back at the other man, willing his heart to stop beating so fast. He can’t help himself, though. Luke makes everything so much more intense, even just existing.

“Morning,” Ashton whispers back, and just because he really needs to, he leans forward and kisses Luke on the forehead. “Sleep well?”

“Mhm,” Luke hums. He snuggles further into the covers and rests his head back on Ashton’s chest, obviously still tired. Ashton can relate, so he wraps his arm around Luke’s shoulder and holds him closely.

“By the way,” Ashton says a moment later, hoping that Luke hasn’t fallen asleep already. “I was looking at the pictures on your wall a minute ago and I think that they’re really… adorable. What are they?”

Ashton glances around the room as he speaks, taking in the sight of the many framed drawings that are hanging along each wall. One of them seems to be a collage of photos, too big to fit into a picture frame, so Luke has carefully stuck it up on the wall with a few thumb tacks.

In truth, this is actually the first time that Ashton has been in the guest bedroom since Luke moved in all those months ago. Before last night, there had never been any reason for him to come in here, and since Ashton values personal space and considers himself a trustworthy employer, he obviously never considered snooping around, either. Therefore, it’s the first time that he’s seeing these pictures and so he’s really curious about them.

Luke yawns again and says, “Oh, my kids drew them for me. Er, my old kids. You know, the ones that I used to teach at Sunnydale before becoming a licensed nanny? Yeah, all of them drew me a picture as a going-away gift before I left the school.”

“Aww,” Ashton coos, and now he can see why the pictures mean so much to Luke.

“The ones on the far right are newer,” Luke says, pointing them out with his finger. “Can you guess who drew them?”

Ashton squints to get a better look at one of the drawings on the wall. He just barely make out five stick figures depicted in various colors, as well as the bright yellow sun in the sky and some grass at the bottom. It’s not hard at all to guess the artist of the beautiful piece, so Ashton chuckles and says:

“Well, if I had to guess, I’d say they were drawn by none other than my artistic daughters.”

“Lillie drew the last one a couple of months back,” Luke confirms with a nod, then he laughs as well. “You probably can’t see it from here, but you and I are holding hands in the picture. Amazing, right?”

Ashton hums in agreement. “That really is amazing… and it seems she figured out that I liked you before I even figured it out myself.”

Luke laughs again and says, “To be fair, you are quite stubborn.”

Ashton has to agree with that statement, too. While Luke goes back to resting against his chest and eventually falling back to sleep, Ashton continues staring at the pictures on the wall, particularly the ones drawn by his daughters. Although he can barely tell, he’s smiling in every single one of them. His daughters drew him smiling because he’s a lot happier these days—or, maybe they drew him smiling because that’s what children do. They draw stick figures with crazy hair and huge smiles, so it makes sense. However, Ashton chooses to believe in the former.

“A happy family,” he mutters to himself, eyes glued to the very last picture that features him holding hands with Luke. Thinking about it now, it’s been a rather long time since they’ve taken a family photograph. He makes a mental note to get one done very soon.

After all, Luke is family. His image deserves a place on the mantel above the fireplace, too.

***

What happens next is that, basically, Ashton rediscovers his inner teenage hormones after the first time that they have sex. One dicking just isn’t enough to calm the hungry beast within, the beast known as his reawakened sex drive. Although that may sound like a quote from a cheesy romance novel, it’s actually the truth. Now that they don’t have to contain themselves anymore, he and Luke have more fun than either of them have had in _years_.

Sometimes they still have to contain themselves, though. Ashton is still a father of three and Luke remains a nanny of some sort, so sometimes Ashton is forced to watch as Luke struts around the kitchen in his cute little pajama bottoms while making breakfast for the family, knowing that as soon as the children have run off to play, only then will he be able to touch. It’s nothing short of torture, because Luke knows exactly what Ashton is thinking and takes it upon himself to tease the older man further, giving him sultry looks and repeatedly licking his lips while sucking on slices of oranges and whatnot.

At the same time, it’s incredibly exciting. Ashton hasn’t been this happy and horny in years, and it’s during times like this that he’s so grateful for the lock on his office door.

“I really, really love the freckles on your back,” Ashton mutters, and he leans forward to kiss all the ones that he can reach. “They’re like beautiful little stars and your back is the galaxy, which I guess makes you the universe… my universe.”

The softest moan comes from Luke, his back shivering a little beneath the gentle touch of Ashton’s lips. It’s actually impressive, how quiet he’s managing to remain despite how loud he normally is, how _vulgar_ Ashton is fully aware that he’s capable of being. But Luke is a champion when it comes to taking dick and doing what he’s told, so if Ashton tells him to keep quiet, then that’s what he’ll try his best to do.

Suddenly, Luke huffs out a breathless laugh.

“How romantic,” he says, voice slightly higher than usual. “Only Ashton Irwin can wax poetic while literally f-fucking me over a desk.”

Because Ashton has to admit that it’s a bit funny, he giggles and kisses Luke on the back once more, managing to keep the slow pace of his hips as he thrusts into Luke again and again. The slow build-up of going slow like this has to be the greatest feeling on earth, especially since Luke still responds as if he’s being fucked hard and fast into the ground.

“Hey, I can’t… can’t help it,” Ashton says, sighing with content. “You make me feel like… like I can climb to the top of the fucking world. Well, your ass does. But in general, you make me feel like I can do even more than that, to be honest.”

Luke doesn’t laugh at him this time, but he does whisper Ashton’s name under his breath and grip the edge of the desk a little tighter. He’s obviously a tad flustered by all of the sweet words, even if he won’t admit it. But that’s alright, Ashton will continue telling him just how wonderful he is. He’s spent so many months trying to hide his feelings and contain them as much as possible, and now it’s time to express everything that he’s been trying so hard to keep to himself this whole time.

“Whenever I look at you, I get… weak in the knees.” Ashton grunts at the magnificent feeling of Luke’s hole clenching around him. He picks up the pace of his thrusts a little, snapping his hips forward with more purpose than before. “Whenever I—I look at you, I think about how lucky I am. I think about… how I just wanna give you the world, how I wanna k-keep you happy and safe and _loved_. Looking at you, I forget all about any sadness left inside of me.”

The effectiveness of his words becomes evident when Luke actually cries out, so loudly that it fills the room. Ashton shushes him as a reminder to be as quiet as he can; you see, Billie is currently napping in his crib on the other side of the wall, while the girls are downstairs in the playroom—and it just so happens that the playroom is directly beneath Ashton’s office. He giggles when Luke ends up whining in frustration, clearly struggling to remain silent. Ashton kisses him in the center of his back to let him know that his efforts are admirable.

“You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world, Lukey,” he whispers, nuzzling the soft skin along Luke’s back.

“Y-You make me… make me feel…” Luke tries to speak, but he trails off into another long, drawn-out moan. He begins moving his hips back to meet Ashton’s forward thrusts, forming the loveliest sound as their skin slaps together. “You make me feel like I… like I’m… oh my god, _Ash_ —”

That’s when Luke comes all of a sudden, taking Ashton by surprise. He arches his back and bites down on his bottom lip, a last attempt at not moaning at the top of his lungs despite how much he wants to do just that. It’s so intense that his whole body shakes with it, and seeing him control his urge to be loud in the midst of his orgasm is both incredibly hot _and_ impressive.

“Fuck,” Ashton gasps. He tightens his grip on Luke’s hips and thrusts at a much faster pace now, feeling his own impending orgasm building up at an alarming rate. “Holy shit, Luke…”

“Do it,” Luke whines, and his voice sounds so wrecked that Ashton nearly comes at the sound of it. He continues moving his own hips back against Ashton’s, even though he’s surely oversensitive by now. “C’mon, Ash, _do it_ … come in me. I-I wanna feel you…”

Ashton gives Luke exactly what he wants after just a few more hard thrusts, filling him up nicely with his warm seed. Luke exhales the most pleased sigh and stays perfectly still, though his hole eagerly clenches around Ashton’s spent cock.

They stay just like this for a short moment, Ashton slumped over and breathing hard against Luke’s back until he feels like he can move again. When he does, he carefully pulls out and instantly drops to his knees to clean up the mess with his tongue, lapping up his own come as it begins to drip from Luke’s ass. Luke gasps in surprise and squirms a bit, having not expected Ashton to do something so dirty but sexy like eating him out. He apparently really likes it, though, because he reaches behind himself and spreads his left cheek to make Ashton’s job easier.

When they’ve had their fun and Luke’s semen has been wiped up from Ashton’s desk, they spend a long moment slowly kissing each other and just enjoying the fact that this is something that they can do now. Ashton sits in his chair while Luke straddles his lap, his hands gripping the back of the chair to stay balanced. But Ashton would never let him fall, so he keeps his own hands around Luke’s waist just in case.

“Love the taste of yours lips,” Luke murmurs before dipping his tongue into Ashton’s mouth again. When he pulls back a few seconds later, he smiles and whispers, “Love the taste of your tongue, too. Love the way that you fuck me, and most of all, love you.”

Ashton giggles quietly and pulls him into another slow kiss, savoring the taste of Luke’s mouth as well. Never had he thought that they’d reach this point, but they have and he really couldn’t be any happier with the way that things have changed for the better.

It’s paradise, is what it is.

“What’re you thinking about?” asks Luke a moment later, once Ashton has been fairly silent for a while. He reaches up and brushes away the strands of curly hair from Ashton’s face, smiling when he’s able to properly look into those beautiful hazel eyes.

Ashton hums and takes Luke’s hand into his, raising it up to his lips and softly kissing his dainty wrist.

“I was just thinking of buying a loveseat for this room,” he explains. When Luke raises his brows, clearly not understanding his thoughts on buying a new piece of furniture, Ashton smiles once again. “You know, so that I won’t have to fuck you over my desk the next time that we do it in here? Figured a little loveseat would fit perfectly against the back wall. What do you think?”

Luke’s eyes go wide and he erupts into giggles, nodding at the wonderful idea. When he’s done laughing, he rests his forehead against Ashton’s and breathes in deeply, letting out a long sigh afterwards.

“I think it’s a brilliant idea, Mr. Irwin,” he whispers. “I can help you pick one out, if you’d like.”

Because Luke’s idea is just as brilliant, Ashton nods and pecks him on the lips.

“I’d love that.”

***

On the morning of July 16th, 2016, Ashton makes sure to wake up extra early. It takes a lot of planning and strategy, but he manages to wake up before Luke does and quickly shuts off his alarm, not wanting to disturb his sleeping partner. And once Ashton is positive that Luke isn’t going to surprise him by waking up regardless of his hard work, he sneaks out of bed and down the stairs to get to work in the kitchen.

Basically, today is Luke’s twenty-third birthday. He is officially one year older than he had been before, because that’s what birthdays do. They mark a person as being an extra year older. Days in advance, Ashton decides that he’d like to spend the entire day spoiling Luke and making him happy. After all, Luke has been taking care of this family for a total of six months now, so the least that they can do is take care of him in return. It’s his birthday, you know, and people deserve to be spoiled on their birthday.

That’s why Ashton works hard in cooking a stack of chocolate chip pancakes, some hash browns, and a single egg sunny side up, just how Luke prefers it. When he’s finished with all of the hard work, he neatly places the food on a breakfast tray along with a side of syrup and orange juice, then carefully makes his way back upstairs and to the master bedroom.

Just as Ashton has been hoping, Luke is still fast asleep with the covers up to his shoulder and his head buried in the pillows. They’ve pretty much shared a bed every night since their date about a month ago, but Ashton will probably never get used to seeing Luke in his bed. He looks so small, fragile, and comfortable lying on the huge mattress, much larger than the one in the guestroom that he used to sleep in. Though he still uses the room as his own, nowadays he joins Ashton in the master bedroom instead when it’s time to sleep.

Ashton sets the tray on the nightstand and gently shakes Luke on the shoulder.

“Lukey,” he murmurs sweetly, failing to contain his own excitement. “It’s time to get up, babe.”

It only takes a few tries before Luke groans sleepily and begins to awaken. He sits up in bed when prompted, scratching the back of his mussed hair and blinking to get used to the natural lightning in the room. He seems a bit paler than usual and his nose is unnaturally reddened, but Ashton is sure that he’ll feel and look much better once he gets a bite of his delicious breakfast.

That’s when Ashton takes the tray into his lap again and smiles as wide as he can.

“Happy birthday!” he shouts, his bright eyes beaming with excitement and love for the other man. “I made you breakfast in bed and fixed all of your favorite foods, and now you shall be served just like a royal prince.”

Luke takes one glance at the food and instantly smiles. He opens his mouth to presumably thank Ashton, but then his face contorts into slight discomfort and he coughs into his fist a few times. From the sound of it, they were very painful coughs and Luke doesn’t seem to be enjoying whatever bad feeling is plaguing him right now.

“Thank you,” he says a moment later, but his voice sounds absolutely wrecked, and definitely not in a good way. Even Luke himself seems to notice the difference, because he clears his throat but the action seems to cause him a bit of pain as well.

“Are you alright?” asks Ashton, instantly filled with worry and his usual protectiveness. “You don’t look too well. How do you feel?”

“Like death itself,” he answers, but it’s no exaggeration. “My throat is really, really sore and—”

Luke pauses to cough again and it sounds just as painful as before. It isn’t hard to see that he has somehow contracted the common cold on his _birthday_ , no less, and Ashton truly pities him. Most of all, he feels his natural protectiveness begin to amplify by a tenfold.

“Seems to me that you have a cold,” Ashton explains. He reaches out and runs his fingers through Luke’s messy bed hair, letting his hand trail down until he can press it against Luke’s forehead. “And a fever as well, which really isn’t good… you’ll have to stay in bed and rest for a while to get rid of it. I’ll bring you some medicine and—”

“No, no, don’t do that!” Luke argues, rapidly shaking his head. He then puts on a very unconvincing smile. “It’s probably just nothing, honestly. I’m fine! I just need to wash my face and I’ll look better than ever. But first, I think I’ll eat this delicious breakfast now.”

Luke reaches out and takes the tray away from Ashton, setting it down in his own lap. Ashton watches closely as Luke cuts into the pancakes with the fork after drizzling some syrup onto it, then he shoves a nice portion into his mouth and begins to chew, humming at the wonderful taste. Now, the problem begins when he attempts to swallow it, because he’s obviously having trouble getting it down without wincing in pain because of his sore throat. After watching him fail a couple more times, Ashton shakes his head and decides that enough is enough.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. Luke, baby, you’re hurting yourself.” Ashton takes the tray of food away from the other man and ignores his subsequent whining, telling Luke that it’s for his own good. “Look, I’ll go and make you some yummy soup, alright? Once you get some rest and medicine, you’ll be feeling better in no time.”

Apparently, none of that is what Luke had been wanting to hear. He slouches against the headboard and looks truly saddened with a touch of disappointment. Since Ashton knows that it’s because of something other than being sick and the icky feeling, he places a hand on Luke’s knee to comfort him.

“What’s the matter, babe? You can tell me. Whatever it is, I’ll make it all better.”

After a moment, Luke mutters, “It’s… Lillie and Annie. Even though I pretended to have no clue, I know that you’ve been planning something with them for my birthday, and I know how excited they’ve been to surprise me. I’ve been really looking forward to it, you know. But now that I’m sick, they’re gonna be so disappointed in me…”

Luke slouches even more, groaning in frustration. Ashton hates seeing him like this and he really wishes that he had the ability to magically heal Luke, but since he obviously doesn’t, all that he can do now is try to make this day the best that he possibly can.

“Hey now, that’s not true. Maybe they’ll be disappointed, sure—but they won’t be disappointed in _you_. It’s not your fault that you’re sick.”

“Yeah, but—”

“No buts. You’re going to get better and I’ll make sure of it, so don’t you worry about a thing. And hey, we can still have loads of fun right here at home! I’m sure that the girls and I can come up with something _perfect_.”

Luke lets out a long sigh, but he eventually nods which means that he’ll go along with whatever they decide to do. Now that Ashton has Luke’s approval, Ashton smiles with great confidence, hoping that some of it will transfer to Luke. Just to make sure that it does, he leans forward and chastely kisses Luke on his warm forehead, then whispers that he’s in good hands. When he pulls back, he can see within Luke’s eyes that Luke believes in him.

By the time that Ashton has finished giving Luke a bowl of soup and medicine, and then made sure that he has fallen asleep again to get more rest, it’s around mid-morning. This is usually the time that the children wake up on their own, and just as he’d suspected, Lillie and Annie are eagerly skipping down the hallway when Ashton leaves the master bedroom and gently shuts the door behind him.

“Is Lukey woke?” asks Lillie, jumping up and down in all of her excitement.

“Is he? Is he? I wanna say happy birthday!” Annie chirps, clearly just as excited as her twin sister.

Ashton wants to make this as easy as he can without saddening the girls, so he smiles warmly and crouches down to their height.

“Well, he _was_ awake, but he’s just gone back to sleep now,” he explains, speaking softly so that they get the hint that they should try to speak softly, too. “Listen, angels. I’m afraid that Lukey isn’t feeling so well today, so he’s going to need his rest… which also means staying at home for the time being. But it’s still his birthday, and I need the two of you to help me make it the best birthday that he’s ever had. Think you can give daddy a hand?”

While both girls do end up looking slightly disappointed when hearing that they’ll have to stay home and forget all about their plans, they recover in no time as soon as Ashton asks for their help. If Ashton knows one thing, it’s that Lillie and Annie love the feeling of being daddy’s little helpers.

“I’ll help!” Lillie announces, and remembering that she has to be quiet, she leans forward and whispers, “Then Lukey won’t be sick no mores.”

“I’ll help, too,” Annie promises with a wide grin.

Relieved that it was so easy to convince them to help out, Ashton kisses them both on their foreheads and tells them the brand new plan.

Operation “Cheer Luke Up” involves two main things: lots of cuddles and lots of love. As soon as he’s awake and has taken his second dose of medicine, Ashton sends in the girls to initiate the plan. He assures Luke that Lillie and Annie have taken their vitamins and will not contract his illness, no matter how much he insists that he doesn’t want to get them sick as well. When he relents and accepts the wonderful cuddles from the twins, Ashton puts a movie on for them to watch in bed. Lillie and Annie suggest _Shrek 2_ , because laughing makes people feel better and Luke needs to feel better.

While the girls keep Luke entertained, Ashton takes care of everything else. He brings Luke and the girls some popsicles made with 100% real fruit juice to help Luke get rid of his sore throat once and for all, and then he returns to the kitchen to begin cooking one of Luke’s favorite dishes, baked macaroni and cheese topped with bacon bits.

Billie follows Ashton around the kitchen in his walker, helping out by tasting the food when it’s nearly finished. Ashton notices that his son keeps glancing over his shoulder every few minutes, probably expecting Luke to walk in like he usually does to give Billie his daily love and kisses. But being a baby and all, it’s a lot easier for someone like Billie to catch another person’s cold, so sadly he’ll have to wait a little longer before he can see Luke. At least he still has his daddy’s attention, and Ashton makes sure to give him as much affection as his little heart desires.

Once the mac and cheese has been taken from the oven and left to cool off, Ashton takes Billie upstairs to put him down for his afternoon nap. After that’s taken care of, he immediately makes his way to the master bedroom, where Luke and the twins are currently giggling over the last bits of the movie that they’re watching. Ashton has to admit that the operation appears to be successful, because Luke is smiling and he doesn’t look nearly as pale as he had earlier in the morning. He also doesn’t sound as if he has swallowed a bunch of rusty nails, so it’s progress.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” Ashton says, getting their attention.

“Mhm! Much better,” Luke confirms with a genuine smile and a nod. “All thanks to you and my little angels.”

He suddenly launches into a tickle attack that leaves both Lillie and Annie breathless and red in the face, grinning so wide that it’s obvious they’re having a _blast_ despite not being able to go out today. Honestly, just seeing the three of them happy makes Ashton feel an immense amount of happiness, too.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Lillie shouts, ushering for him to come over and join them on the bed. “Lukey can make a donkey noise. Watch!”

Both girls turn to Luke in anticipation, which is when he mimics the sound of a donkey on cue, resulting in the girls bursting into giggles as if it’s the greatest thing in the world. His imitation of the animal is quite impressive, though, so Ashton applauds his “talent” and walks over to them, sitting on the edge of the mattress and leaning over to feel Luke’s forehead with his hand.

“Looks like your fever’s all gone,” Ashton says, surprised but relieved. He adds in a playful tone, “Mr. Donkey.”

Luke grins from ear to ear and says, “Thanks for the analysis, Shrek.”

“Dinner’s all ready, by the way. When you’re feeling well enough to eat, I’ll bring some to you.” He then addresses his daughters. “If either of you are hungry, let me know and I’ll fix you a plate, alright?”

Lillie and Annie nod at the same time, then redirect their attention to the movie again. Ashton doesn’t notice Luke’s movements until there's a hand resting atop his own, and he glances up to find the other man smiling at him again. It’s a much softer smile this time around, one filled with so much gratitude and love.

“Thank you, though. Seriously,” he mutters, giving Ashton’s hand a squeeze. His words also manage to squeeze Ashton’s heart a little.

In response to his gratitude, Ashton giggles. “No need. You know I’d never mind taking care of my babes, and that includes you. So, is there anything else that you need before I head back downstairs? Some hot tea for your throat, maybe?”

Luke shakes his head. “Nah, my throat’s perfectly fine now. Well, almost. But um, now that you mention it…” He trails off and suddenly begins to look a tad bashful, for some odd reason. When he speaks again, he doesn’t look into Ashton’s eyes. “Um, I was wondering if you could bring some warm milk? It’s what my mom used to give me whenever I got sick, warm milk and butter cookies. We have some of the same cookies in the pantry. And I know, it’s childish and I never really grew out of it, but…”

Okay, Ashton is positively sure that Luke can’t get any cuter than this. He resists the strong urge to coo at the other man and pepper his face with many kisses in front of the girls, but only just.

“Alright, no problem. I’ll do it,” he says with ease, but he doesn’t stop himself from smiling and kissing Luke on the cheek. “As a matter of fact, I’ll bring milk and cookies for all three of you. How does that sound, hm?”

The girls proceed to cheer while Luke smiles up at Ashton and mutters another “thank you” before the older man leaves the room again.

At the very end of the day, it’s time to give Luke his birthday gifts. Ashton brings Billie into the room for this part because they deserve to do it as a family, and just as he’d expected, the little guy is totally _ecstatic_ to finally see Luke, and Luke feels the exact same way. Ashton places the baby in Luke’s lap while the rest of them sit around the big bed, eagerly waiting with excitement as Luke opens the first gift given to him by Lillie and Annie.

When all of the wrapping paper has been removed from the rectangular gift, Luke gasps when he sees that it’s a pretty painting. Both of the girls instantly begin telling him of how they painted the picture together, no longer able to contain their own excitement at giving Luke something that they made especially for him. His appreciation for the painting is quite clear in his expression.

“It’s beautiful,” he mutters in awe, eyes scanning the painting once more as his mouth splits into a grin. “And you even got my nose right!”

Ashton supposes that the “portrait” of Luke really does have a pointy nose, though very similar to Pinocchio’s in its length. What makes it beautiful is how much effort he knows that the girls put into creating it, and how difficult it was to keep it a secret. The previous week, Ashton had given Luke the entire day off and told him to go get a massage or something, while he and the girls stayed at home to prepare Luke’s gifts. It definitely hasn’t been easy trying to keep the gifts hidden, since Luke knows basically every inch of this house by now.

“I did the nose,” Annie proudly announces with a bashful grin.

“And I did the ears! See?” Lillie points to the blob that’s supposed to represent Luke’s ears, and again, Luke gasps.

“I see, I see. And you both did such fantastic jobs! I can’t wait to hang this on the wall.” Luke takes a second to set the painting aside, then he opens his arms really wide to embrace the girls when they crawl to either sides of him. They make sure not to squish Billie in the process. “Thank you so much, angels. I really, really love it.”

When that’s all said and done with, Ashton hands Luke his next gift.

“This one is from Billie,” he says with a laugh, because it obviously isn’t. Luke quickly opens the package and giggles when he sees that it’s a new case for his phone. “Billie apologizes for breaking your last one and hopes that you will accept his gift.”

“Aww!” Luke coos, and he bows his head to kiss Billie on the top of his. “Why thank you, munchkin! I accept your gift _and_ your apology.”

In response to Luke’s gratitude, Billie giggles and says something in his usual gibberish, but at the very end of that undecipherable sentence, he utters one word that actually _does_ make sense to the others.

“Wukey.”

Both Ashton and Luke laugh and applaud Billie for his steadily increasing vocabulary, while the girls repeat their baby brother’s new word, excitedly shouting “Wukey! Wukey!” until they’ve all settled down again. Afterwards, Lillie asks Luke if he’d like to watch another movie with them since they’d had so much fun earlier in the day, which becomes Ashton’s cue to suggest an alternative.

“Actually, I think it’s about time for the three of you to get ready for bedtime.”

It comes as no surprise when Lillie and Annie begin to whine about not being sleepy and wanting to watch Luke open his last gift from their father, but Ashton is relentless and doesn’t take no for an answer. Besides, he let them stay up an hour past their usual bedtime and Billie is already yawning, gradually falling asleep where he sits in Luke’s lap. The girls are quick to give up the fight, after Luke promises to play with them some more tomorrow, but he needs his own rest to feel a hundred percent by then.

“Night-night, Lukey,” they tell him when prompted, and then they each give him a warm hug, one after the other. “Love you.”

“Goodnight, girls. And I love you, too. Always,” he murmurs, kissing their heads one last time before they leave the room.

Luke kisses Billie goodnight as well, and then Ashton takes the little tike into his arms and brings him to his crib, smiling when he sees that Billie has already fallen asleep in his arms. After leaving the nursery and tucking the twins into bed, Ashton returns to his own bedroom and finds Luke still sitting with his back against the headboard, his knees pulled up to his chest and a curious grin on his face.

“So what’s this I hear about another gift?” he asks, and it’s predictable.

Ashton doesn’t answer him immediately. He simply walks into the closet and rummages through the bag that he’d hid it in, before returning to the bedroom and taking a seat on the mattress directly across from Luke. A second later, he reveals a small box from behind his back and sets it atop one of Luke’s knees, nervously smiling as Luke wastes no time in opening it.

“What do you think?” asks Ashton as soon as it’s revealed, but the gift seems to have rendered Luke speechless.

Luke stares with wide eyes at the [small wooden music box](https://40.media.tumblr.com/a1833ea957457ce2c56701154ceeb448/tumblr_o0ut3viHln1rtd06bo1_400.jpg) now in his hands. On the lid of the box are letters written in a pretty cursive writing, ones that spell out the words “ _Can’t Help Falling In Love With You_.” He wordlessly begins to wind it up, and once the beautiful music begins to play, Luke gasps in delight. That’s when he finally looks up at Ashton again, his eyes already a little watery.

“Ashton…” he whispers.

It seems to be the only word that Luke can manage at the moment. He chews on his bottom lip and glances down at the music box again, then back to Ashton’s face, then at the music box. It’s definitely the cutest reaction that Ashton could have ever hoped for.

“There’s a little message written on the inside,” Ashton says, pointing to the lid.

Luke gasps again and eagerly opens the lid, his eyes going wide once more as he reads the words written on the other side.

“ _For the super nanny who filled my heart and made me whole again_ …”

Luke really does start crying then, but only a few tears manage to fall from his eyes before he giggles adorably and quickly scrubs at his face, no doubt embarrassed for getting so emotional over this. But he isn’t the only one who’s feeling emotional tonight, and rightfully so.

“I kept thinking about the fact that this is pretty much… _our_ song, you know,” Ashton begins to explain, and he pauses to nervously lick his chapped lips. “So I figured you would like it. And, like, I know that we’ve only been together as a couple for a month or so now, but since we’ve been _together_ for over half a year, I feel as if a gift like this wouldn’t be too much or make you feel like I’m rushing things? Because I really don’t want you to feel like I am, but I also want to show you how much you mean to me in a way that only the two of us would understand. That’s where the song comes in, I guess, and so—”

Ashton is cut off when Luke suddenly surges forward and kisses him with so much passion that it takes his breath away. When Luke pulls back at last, he’s blushing and smiling but not just with his lips; his eyes are so bright and _happy_ that it makes Ashton smile, too.

“Sorry, sorry, I just—I’m just so overwhelmed? Like, I could kiss you right now, which I guess I’ve already done but I could kiss you again and never want to stop kissing you? Oh my god, Ashton, this is… this is literally the best and most meaningful gift that I’ve ever received in my life and I just… I…”

Knowing exactly how Luke feels right now and also unable to contain himself, Ashton pulls the other man into a second kiss. He wraps his arms around Luke and tugs until Luke gets the hint, easily siding into Ashton’s lap as if this spot was made for him and him only.

Ashton never realized until now just how well they fit together, and he briefly thinks back to what Luke had said during his first week as nanny, something about people having more than one soulmate. Ashton still doesn’t know if he believes in the concept of having someone he’s destined to be with, but he believes in Luke. He believes in himself. He believes in their relationship.

Eventually, Luke pulls away again and rests their foreheads together, breathing hard against Ashton’s lips and giggling for no apparent reason. Or, maybe he’s just giggling because he’s so happy right now.

“We have to stop,” he murmurs, smoothing down the hair at the back of Ashton’s head. “I feel better, yeah, but I can still get you sick.”

“Don’t care,” Ashton murmurs back, pressing kiss after kiss to Luke’s lips again. “You could kill me with your germs and I still wouldn’t care.”

Luke properly laughs at such a bold statement, so hard that he has to temporarily rest his forehead on Ashton’s shoulder for a moment before he’s able to gather himself again.

“That’s pretty intense, Mr. Irwin,” he teases.

Ashton only smiles before capturing his lips into yet another kiss, determined to make up for lost time by giving him a second birthday gift in the form of a slow, thorough blowjob.

***

A little while later, Ashton is lying in bed with Luke resting against his chest and a feeling of great satisfaction and happiness surrounding them. One of his hands is idly playing in Luke’s hair as he hums along to the music box that Luke winds up again and again, so enchanted by the soft sounds that it plays. He obviously loves the thing more than Ashton had expected, and it’s such a good feeling to know that it really was the perfect gift.

All of a sudden, Luke breaks the silence when he says, “I think I’ll name it Elvis.”

It takes several moments before Ashton realizes what Luke is referring to, and then he’s laughing from deep within his chest.

“The music box? Really?”

“Yeah,” Luke answers simply, because apparently he’s completely serious about this.

And, well, who is Ashton to deny him of this right? That’s why he simply laughs again and goes back to playing in Luke’s hair, deciding to let him have his fun with the little music box that he adores.

“I think that Elvis is a perfect name.”

* * *

 


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE EPILOGUE HAS ARRIIIIIIVED!!! Thank you so so so much to everyone who has read this and to the kind souls who have told me their thoughts, whether on here or my blog or whatever! I love you for that and I hope that this load of fluffy fluff marshmallow softness isn't too much for you lol

* * *

On the morning of December 25th, Ashton awakens to the feeling of kisses being pressed to his neck and the warmth of another body against his own. While it’s a wonderful greeting from the man that he has been sharing a bed with for the past couple years, it doesn’t change the fact that Ashton is _exhausted_. He’s exhausted from the wild but fun times spent at Ben Hemmings’ household the previous evening, as well as pretending to be Santa for the kids. All that Ashton wants now is a bit of sleep and perhaps a cup of hot coffee afterwards, so he hums to show that he appreciates the kisses but doesn’t plan to wake up any time soon.

Luke obviously doesn’t agree with this plan, evident when he begins to whine and shake Ashton by the shoulder.

“Wake up,” he repeats in a very unconvincing tone, “come on, babe, it’s Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Ashton murmurs, sighing as he instantly falls unconscious once more.

Luke appears to give up the fight after that, leaving the older man to finally get the extra rest that he needs to be able to function today. However, Ashton swears that only _seconds_ have gone by before he’s suddenly being attacked with brute force. The mattress dips as multiple bodies pounce onto the bed and begin bouncing up and down, yelling at the top of their lungs and nearly causing Ashton’s heart to jump from his chest.

“Wake up, daddy! Wake up!”

“It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas!”

“Present!”

The last one is shouted by Billie, who has now taken a seat on Ashton’s chest and is lightly patting his cheeks to wake him up. Ashton groans and finally opens his eyes, staring up into the pair of pretty blue ones on his son’s adorable face. He’s giggling nonstop because of his excitement, so Ashton gives him another reason to giggle by roaring like a lion and launching into a tickle attack. Lillie and Annie scream and hop off the bed one after the other, just in case they’re next.

“Do you surrender?” he asks, giggling himself.

“No!” Billie shouts with laughter, and Ashton launches into a second tickle attack until the little boy gives up for good.

Afterwards, when Ashton releases Billie and realizes that it’s totally impossible for him to get back to sleep now, he sighs and promises to join the others downstairs to open their Christmas gifts. He supposes that he ought to get ready for the arrival of Michael and Calum as well, who are bringing with them a very _special_ gift that the children are totally oblivious to. Honestly, Ashton can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when they see what that special gift is.

“I’ll be down in a minute,” he says once more, since they’re still anxiously waiting for him to get out of bed. “Just give me a moment to brush my teeth, alright? And make sure you don’t open anything until _all_ of us are ready!”

Ashton has to raise his voice a little for that last bit, since the girls bolt out of the room with Billie and Luke following right behind them.

“Hurry, daddy, hurry!” they shout from down the hall.

Sighing again, Ashton forces himself to leave the comfort of his bed. He takes a moment to stretch his back before heading over to the en suite, and from the corner of his eyes he sees that Luke re-enters the room, assuming that the other man has forgotten something. However, just before Ashton makes it into the bathroom, Luke approaches from behind and teasingly grabs his ass, then whispers in his ear:

“Hurry up, _daddy_.”

He’s gone before Ashton’s sleepy mind can process any of it, but he does roll his eyes at Luke’s subsequent giggling as he scurries from the room to join the children. With a third sigh and a slight hard-on, Ashton retreats into the bathroom to take care of his usual morning routine. He doesn’t ignore the nerves sitting in his belly, knowing that today is a special day and it’s not just because of the holiday.

Staring at his own reflection in the mirror, Ashton tells himself to be brave.

***

It isn’t long before Ashton joins Luke on the sofa in the noisy living room, where the children are talking over one another and trying to decide which gifts to open first. Since such behavior is routine by now, Ashton sits back and watches with a joyful grin on his face, one that grows a bit wider when Luke snuggles into the side of Ashton’s body and rests his head on Ashton’s shoulder. Today marks the third Christmas that Luke has spent with them as a family, but he always looks just as excited as that very first year. It’s adorable, to say the least.

Being the youngest in their family, Billie is the first to open his present of choice. He displays immense joy when he sees that it’s a brand new Lego set that should definitely keep him busy _and_ keep him away from the things in Ashton’s office, since the little munchkin just loves to wander into that room when no one is looking. When he has gotten over his excitement, he stands up and comes over to the sofa to give hugs and kisses to his daddy and Luke, thanking them for the awesome gift.

Lillie and Annie open their first presents at the same time, after picking up their own boxes of choice. Lillie squeals over her new pair of roller skates while Annie does the same over the new easy-bake oven that she’s been asking about for months, and neither of them really bother to Ashton’s safety warnings before pouncing on him and Luke, thanking them repeatedly. Well, as long as they’re happy and satisfied with what they’ve been given, then Ashton supposes that he can remind them about safety later on.

The next twenty minutes follow a similar pattern. The children take turns opening each of their gifts, show a tremendous amount of excitement over them, and then move on to the next shiny present after thanking their father and Luke. Eventually Luke gets up to make coffee so that Ashton won’t fall asleep right there on the sofa, no matter how many times Ashton insists that his third yawn was actually a sigh of content. Nevertheless, he gladly accepts the offer and waits for Luke to leave the room before hopping up from the sofa to receive Luke’s present from the nearby coat closet.

It’s the best strategy that Ashton has adopted so far. He knows that Luke has a nasty habit of snooping around when there are gifts involved, so he hid Luke’s gift in the closet beneath a bunch of old coats for precisely this reason. He sneaks back into the living room once he gets what he needs, then sets it on the sofa to await Luke’s return.

“Hate to be the bearer of bad news on Christmas,” Luke says as he re-enters the living room, “but we’re all out of… cream. What’s this?”

Luke pauses in front of the sofa when he sees that his spot has been taken by an elongated inanimate object concealed with wrapping paper. The confused look on his face makes Ashton giggle, and he leans forward to take both cups of coffee from Luke’s hands, setting them on the small glass table that has been pushed aside. When all that Luke does is tilt his head to one side, Ashton laughs again.

“Well? Aren’t you going to open it and see what it is? It has your name on it, after all.”

Hearing those words is what brings an eager smile to Luke’s face, replacing his utter confusion. Just like the children are currently doing over by the large Christmas tree, Luke takes the present into his hands and gasps at the heaviness. He sits down again and places the gift in his lap, eagerly ripping off the wrapping paper while Ashton watches in amusement. Once the object has finally been revealed, Luke reacts in a similar way that mimics the children’s reactions.

“A guitar!” he gasps, eyes as wide as ever. He glances back and forth between the instrument and Ashton’s face. “An _electric_ guitar, which means…”

“The amp is sitting in the garage,” Ashton explains. “Figured I’d just surprise you with the guitar itself, you know, since it’s a lot prettier and not nearly as heavy. Anyway, do you like it?”

“I _love_ it!” Luke replies only half a second later, his eyes never leaving the instrument in his lap. “And the baby blue and white coloring is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Luke starts to ramble about the technicalities of the guitar and how awesome it is, while Ashton can only nod along and mentally thank the guy at the guitar store who helped him out. You see, Ashton can’t claim to know _that_ much about guitars. He knows a few things, like the basics and the different models, but his career requires him to be much more knowledgeable about orchestra instruments. Therefore, he understands a lot of what Luke is saying but not everything, so he smiles and nods and allows himself to be relieved that Luke seems overjoyed.

“I know it’s been a while since you’ve actually played,” Ashton says, “but since it’s something that you used to really love doing, then it shouldn’t be that hard to pick it back up again, right? So feel free to practice whenever you want. But uh, if you decide to use the amp, I think it’d be best to do it in a quiet place like the garage or—”

He’s cut off when Luke places both hands on the sides of his face and passionately kisses him, showing Ashton just how grateful he truly is. When Luke pulls away, he has that mischievous grin on his face that he sometimes gets, and before Ashton can even ask about it, Luke sets the guitar to the side and hops up from the sofa to retrieve one of the many presents still sitting beneath the tree.

“I got you something too, of course.” Luke presents the wrapped gift from behind his back with an excited grin, and he steps forward to place it on Ashton’s lap without another second to waste. “Go on, open it!”

“Okay, okay, I’m on it,” Ashton chuckles.

It’s a very thin, square gift that Luke sets in Ashton’s lap, and though he thinks that he should have an idea of what it is, he has to admit that he’s completely stumped. Therefore, it comes as a total surprise when he ends up staring at a vintage record of “Nevermind” that has been signed by all three members of Nirvana. From the way that Ashton’s eyes bulge out of their sockets, he sort of resembles a cartoon character.

“Luke,” he gasps in shock, then glances up at the other man who is still wearing that same smile. “How did you—?”

“Ebay,” Luke answers with a simple shrug. “The bidding part was stressful, but it was worth every penny. I thought it would be perfect, since I know how much you love to collect records and I saw that you didn’t already own this one. What do you think?”

What does he think? Well, truth is, Ashton isn’t really thinking about anything, other than the fact that he’s holding a record that has _actually_ been touched by the legends themselves. Most importantly, Dave Grohl. Ashton may or may not have had a deep crush on the guy at some point, and he also may or may not have busted his ass for an entire summer to afford tickets to see the Foo Fighters two nights in a row. His teenage self would probably _lick_ this record just to feel a bit closer to his idol, but present Ashton settles for taking a deep breath to resist the urge to kiss it.

“Holy shit,” he finally says as a response, and upon remembering the children playing with their new toys just a few feet away, Ashton gasps and shuts his lips. Luckily, the twins are currently busy checking out their new baby dolls while Billie repeatedly rips apart discarded wrapping paper. The latter detail may seem strange, but the adorable toddler has always been fascinated by the most random of things.

Luke laughs at Ashton’s reaction. “Guess that means you like it?”

“Like it?” Ashton scoffs at such an understatement. “This is… it’s… oh my god, I love you. We should be kissing right now. Come here.”

Luke is quite eager to drop into Ashton’s lap and accept the affection that he’s given, immediately returning the sweet kisses with smooches of his own. He ends up giggling when Ashton peppers kisses along his jawline and neck, tickled by the hairs on Ashton’s chin. He never pushes Ashton away during these moments, though; and it’s because of the fact that Luke really likes the subtle scratch of Ashton’s beard, especially along the smooth skin of his pale thighs. They’ll definitely have time for such activities later on tonight.

The doorbell alerts them of visitors hardly a minute later, meaning that the lovable husbands have arrived just on time. Luke starts to get up from the sofa to answer the door, but Ashton tells him to relax with the children before excusing himself from the living room. As expected, Michael and Calum are standing on the other side of the door with the very special gift alongside them—but what grabs Ashton’s attention most is the fact that both of his friends look like actual _zombies_. They even sound like zombies when they wish Ashton a merry Christmas as they enter the home.

“You two look half-dead,” Ashton comments while shutting the door behind them. “Rough night?”

Calum rolls his eyes and says after yawning, “You have no idea, okay, we were up half the night because of the little rascal.”

Ashton frowns and glances down at the small, wide-eyed golden retriever connected to the leash in Michael’s hand.

“The dog?”

“No,” Calum says, shaking his head. “Niko. He just kept crying and crying, I swear I got outta bed once every hour because _someone_ had to.”

“Hey now, don’t pretend that you did _all_ of the work,” Michael grumbles. His bright red Christmas sweater makes him look a lot paler than he usually is, and combined with the bags under his eyes, it looks as if he has aged a handful of years over the past few weeks.

Calum ignores his husband’s irritable comment and directs his attention to the infant he’s carrying in his arms.

“We had one hell of a night. Didn’t we, buddy? And you made sure that your daddies got zero rest in the process, huh?” The baby simply blinks several times while staring back into his father’s eyes, clearly just as tired. Calum can’t help chuckling softly, despite his exhaustion and slight irritation. “He’s quiet now, but he can be as loud as a siren when he wants to be.”

“Aww, he’s probably just getting used to you both.” Ashton reaches out and gently tickles the baby’s chin, who looks away from Calum to stare at him instead. “Merry Christmas, little Niko! I see your daddies bought you a new pacifier and a lil beanie to match.”

Niko suddenly begins to fuss a little, so Calum shushes him with the pacifier and gently rocks him back and forth, which seems to do the trick. Clearly, the baby is just as irritable as his new fathers, but the three of them together has to be the cutest thing on earth. That’s what causes Ashton to giggle and pat his friends on the shoulders.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to parenthood soon enough,” he reassures them with a smile.

Michael exhales a deep sigh. “Sure hope so. I’m so damn tired that I don’t even remember getting dressed this morning.”

That probably explains the obnoxiously bright Christmas sweater, but Ashton will commend him for the effort despite his mood. The two of them have only been parents for a few months now, so it makes sense that they’re still adjusting to the hectic tasks of caring for another human being. Ashton remembers how incredibly excited they were during the entire process, between making sure that the surrogate mother had everything she needed and coming up with suitable names for their unborn son. They eventually decided on Niko, partially because of Calum’s Maori heritage but mostly because it sounds awesome, according to Michael.

But despite the noise complaints and the bags under their eyes, Ashton doesn’t think he has ever seen so much happiness and love displayed by his two best friends. He knows that their love for Niko is unconditional, and he also knows that they’re going to be _amazing_ parents.

“By the way,” Michael says, brows raised on his forehead and excitement appearing in his tired eyes. “We haven’t missed the grand finale, right?”

“You haven’t missed a thing,” Ashton assures him, feeling a deep blush grow on his cheeks and that same nervousness appear in the pit of his stomach. He has a feeling that everything will turn out just the way that he hopes, so for now, he clears his throat and calls out to his family. “Kids, your uncles are here and they’ve brought a special gift with them! Come and say hello!”

Within seconds, Lillie, Annie, and Billie appear from around the corner with Luke trailing behind them. As soon as their eyes land on the golden puppy with the red and green Christmas bow on its head, they freeze for the slightest second before it all comes together. Then, Lillie and Annie shriek at the top of their lungs and come running forward, while Billie still looks confused but nevertheless excited to see a puppy, even if he hasn’t figured out that the dog is now theirs.

“Puppy!” they shout, falling to their knees as soon as they’ve reached the dog in order to pet her. The previously silent dog instantly displays just as much excitement with a bark and a few licks to their faces, now that these small humans are giving her attention and affection.

“Is he ours?!” Lillie asks.

“Is he? Is he?” Annie adds for emphasis.

“ _She_ is!” Ashton confirms with a nod and a smile. He takes Billie by the hand and pulls him closer so that the little boy can be introduced to the new puppy as well. “And the three of you are going to take great care of her from now on, aren’t you? Starting with a name!”

Seemingly out of nowhere, Lillie bursts into tears while hugging the puppy around her neck. Annie is quick to follow suit, while Billie stares at the scene with just as much confusion as everyone else. It’s plain to see that the excitement and joy from finally being given a pet is a bit overwhelming for them.

“Aww, why are you crying?” asks Luke, who is unable to stop himself from laughing a little.

Lillie blubbers something about being really happy while also attempting to thank them at the same time, so her words are mostly incomprehensible through her tears. Nevertheless, she and Annie get up from the floor and proceed to hug the four adults in the room, thanking them again for the most wonderful Christmas gift of all. Ashton has never seen his two eight-year-olds get so emotional over something that makes them happy, but it also makes him happy, so he kisses the tops of their heads and tells him that he loves them.

It takes a while for the children to come up with and agree on a name for the golden retriever, but they eventually settle on naming her Charlotte, or Charlie for short. It surprises Ashton when they announce this to him, but he doesn’t hesitate in agreeing that it’s a perfect name for the new addition to their family.

The small tribute to their mother reminds Ashton that in just a couple of weeks, it’ll be the fourth anniversary of Charlotte’s death. The amount of time that has already passed nearly makes him tear up a little, but he instantly feels better when Luke takes him by the hand and kisses him on the cheek, reminding him that it still isn’t his fault. He’s allowed to be happy, he’s allowed to love again, and he has finally moved on for the better.

Joined together as a family in the living room, they return to opening the last of the Christmas gifts. Ashton and Luke give their friends a gift card for expensive spa treatments, since they’re definitely going to need the relaxation sooner or later. In return, Michael and Calum give them a gift that apparently can’t be opened in front of the children, so Ashton can easily guess that it has something to do with their sex life. Although he rolls his eyes, his gratitude is genuine.

When that’s all said and done with, there’s just one last thing needed for this to be the most _perfect_ Christmas.

“Daddy, there’s still one gift left under the tree,” Annie points out, and she tries to reach for the hidden gift behind it. Her arm is just a tad too short to reach it, however, so she pulls back with a sigh.

“No worries, I’ll get it,” Ashton announces. He walks over to the Christmas tree and winks at his daughter, relieved that everything is going according to plan. It takes little to no effort for him to reach the medium sized gift, since he’s the one who hid it there in the first place amongst the many others. When he stands up again, he feigns surprise with a gasp. “Says here that it’s for Luke!”

As anticipated, Luke is taken by surprise to hear that he has another gift. He stops scratching Charlie behind the ears and turns his attention to Ashton, who brings the present over to the sofa and sets it in Luke’s lap, smiling so wide that his cheeks will begin to hurt soon. He can’t help himself, though. Smiling is all that Ashton can do to hide how nervous he is, and Luke seems to buy it, anyway. He smiles back at the other man and says that he really didn’t have to buy another gift, but when Ashton urges him to open it, he doesn’t resist.

“Wow, I wonder what it could be!” Michael speaks up from where he’s sitting on the opposite sofa next to Calum. His obvious tone and the wicked grin on his face clearly hints that he knows exactly what’s up, and because it’s supposed to be a _surprise_ , Ashton loudly clears his throat and shoots Michael a death glare. Calum’s subsequent giggling only makes it worse.

“Whatever you guys are up to, I’ll find out soon enough,” Luke says. It seems to motivate him to open the box at a faster pace, and once he finally manages to get a peek inside, he frowns when all that he seems is a bunch of polystyrene foam. “I don’t understand. It’s… empty?”

Ashton laughs and shakes his head. “Look deeper, babe.”

His little trickery earns another confused frown from Luke, but he does as he’s told and sticks both hands into the box, feeling around for something more. Little does he know that he’s the only person in the room who is completely oblivious to what’s about to happen, which explains the overly excited grins on everyone else’s faces—well, aside from Billie who is just too young to understand, and Niko, who has nearly fallen asleep against Calum’s chest. Oh, and the dog, of course. For obvious reasons.

After several agonizing seconds, Luke eventually discovers the hidden object buried within the foam. He gasps when his hand touches it and quickly lifts it out of the box, and then time stops for a moment as the room falls totally silent. His eyes go wide and his mouth drops open when he realizes that the small cubed box he’s holding can only contain one thing. His shock serves as Ashton’s cue to get the show on the road, so he pushes the decoy box aside and offers Luke a hand.

Luke simply stares at the hand for a moment, looking as if he wants to say something but has no idea what.

Calum decides to help him out. “Stand up!” he whispers just loud enough to be heard.

That’s when Luke seems to gather his wits, or at least some of them, because he takes Ashton’s hand and allows himself to be pulled up from the sofa. He continues to stare in shock as Ashton takes the small box from him and drops down onto one knee, and once his mind finally catches up to him and shouts that this is _really happening_ , Luke actually squeals. And it’s adorable, how he’s already starting to tear up and Ashton hasn’t even asked _the_ question yet.

Without further ado, Ashton opens the box to reveal an engagement ring with a rather big rock on top, because Luke deserves nothing but the best of the best. He takes a deep breath and reminds himself to be brave.

“I—”

“Yes!” Luke shouts all of a sudden, startling them both. His random outburst brings an even deeper blush to his cheeks, then he quickly shakes his head and fumbles with his words. “Wait. I-I mean, I’m guessing you had, like, a little speech planned or something like that? Um, sorry, please go on. But… but yes. Just so you know. Yes.”

To be honest, a reaction as enthusiastic as this one is certainly _not_ the reaction that Ashton has been preparing himself for, so he’s really not sure how to react. That’s why he can only laugh and bow his head for a moment, coming to the conclusion that someone as dorky and amazing as Luke Hemmings is exactly the person that he has been needing his whole life. Though to be fair, he figured that out a long, long time ago.

Ashton looks up once more and when hazel meets blue, he feels like he’s falling in love all over again.

“Alright, so I definitely had a little speech planned,” he starts off saying, “but you know what? I… can’t seem to remember a single word of it. And I guess that’s how it’s always been, ever since you came along. You used to tell me that I think too much, that I should take a moment to enjoy the present instead of always worrying over the future. Well, I’ve been thinking about the future a lot lately, but in a totally different way than before. Now, I’ve been thinking about how I want to… _share_ my future, and there’s nothing that I want more than to share it with you, Luke.”

Luke really does begin to cry at some point while listening to all of that, though not so much that he’s unable to maintain eye contact. The few tears that manage to escape his beautiful eyes are merely extensions of the bright smile on his face, showing how truly happy he is in this moment. Ashton imagines that his own face looks quite similar.

“If you’d give me the chance, I’d love to turn these past three years into something much more permanent. I’d love to continue waking up next to you every morning, only now with the privilege of you being my husband. I’d love to continue raising my beautiful children with you, only now they would officially be _our_ children and you would be their other father. I’d love to do all of this and more, if you would have me. So I guess now is where I ask… will you marry me, Luke Hemmings?”

Even though Luke has already given his answer, Ashton doesn’t have to wait long to hear that same word again.

“ _Yes_ ,” Luke mutters, nodding his head for emphasis. He giggles joyfully despite the steady trail of tears now streaming down his cheeks, but the same can be said for both of them. “Yes. Of course I’ll marry you. But it’s Luke _Irwin_ now, Mr. Ashton Irwin.”

Unable to wait another second, Luke pulls him to his feet and kisses him with twice as much passion as before. Around them, the silent room is instantly filled with applause. Lillie and Annie squeal with joy, along with Billie, who seems to be able to tell that something good is happening; and apparently so can Charlotte, who barks just to make noise with the others. Calum hoots and Michael claps while saying something about capturing the entire thing with the camera on his phone, but details are just details. Right now, the only details that Ashton can focus on is the sweet taste of Luke’s lips—his _fiancé’s_ lips, the warmth of Luke’s body pressed firmly against his own, and the rapid beating of their hearts.

Ashton starts to wrap his arms around Luke’s waist, until he remembers that he’s still holding something. He quickly pulls back from the kiss and giggles when Luke whines about that, since it isn’t nearly enough to be satisfactory.

“The ring,” he explains after pecking Luke’s lips once more. “I’d like to put it on your finger now?”

“Oh!” Luke gasps, suddenly remembering that such a thing exists. He eagerly holds out his left hand when prompted, allowing Ashton to remove the ring from its box and carefully slide it onto the appropriate finger. It’s an absolute perfect fit, and now Luke can’t keep his eyes off the magnificent piece of jewelry. “It’s… It’s _gorgeous_ , Ashton.”

Suddenly overcome by excitement again, Luke immediately wraps his arms around Ashton’s neck and pulls him in for a tight hug that Ashton is more than willing to reciprocate. For the second time, everyone else begins cheering for them, which only serves as background noise to the loud beating in Ashton’s chest. It’s almost hard to believe that he’s only thirty years old and he’s already getting married a second time, but the difference is that he’s a lot wiser this time around. He knows what he wants and his reasons are fueled only by love, instead of spite for someone else.

This is his second chance to do things right and to strive for a happy ending. A happy ending for the two of them.

It all begins now with this new chapter.

Who knows how long they stand there hugging and repeatedly giving each other kisses, but eventually, someone tugs on the hem of Ashton’s pajama shirt. He finally looks away from his fiancé to glance down at the culprit, where he finds both Lillie and Annie standing there with bashful looks on their faces. Remembering that they were the ones who helped Ashton plan this whole thing, he smiles at his daughters before turning back to Luke.

“Right. There’s something that the girls would like to ask of you, too.”

Now that they have Luke’s undivided attention, the girls make their request known at last.

“Can we call you papa now?” asks Lillie, sounding so shy that it’s unlike her usual self.

“Pretty please?” says Annie, clasping her hands together and all.

But the real question is, in what universe would Luke _ever_ say no to such a wonderful request? The answer is that no such universe exists, which is why he eagerly nods his head and tries his best not to start crying again. He fails, of course, but no one minds in the slightest. Lillie and Annie then get their turn to hug Luke, their new papa, though to be completely honest, he has always been far more than just a nanny or their father’s boyfriend. Even Billie joins in on the hug, clinging to Luke’s long legs until Luke gets the hint and picks him up, and the little boy squeals with laughter when Luke peppers kisses all over his face.

“Stop it, papa!” Billie squeals, still laughing uncontrollably. He normally loves nothing more than receiving kisses from both Luke and Ashton, but the tickle of Luke’s morning stubble is too much for him to handle.

“Alright, alright,” Luke says, relenting at last. “I’ll show mercy, but only because it’s still Christmas.”

Luke starts to set Billie back down on the floor again, but since the toddler clings to him and refuses to let go, he resorts to simply holding him instead. The twins seem content with holding onto Luke as well, which makes for a _perfect_ group hug moment, so Ashton joins in on the affection—but not before telling Michael and Calum that they better get their butts in on this group hug, too. It’s a little difficult to maintain the massive hug, what with Calum still holding Niko and all, but they make it work.

As a family, they can make anything work.

***

The annual Christmas dinner is held at Ashton’s mother’s home this time around, so after such an exciting morning and many hours spent playing with the children and their new puppy, they make the drive down to San Diego for even more family time. It’s been a couple of months since the last time that they visited Anne, and Ashton knows that she’ll be pleased to see her grandchildren once again. She’ll also be very pleased to see Luke, who she has adored since the very first time that they met. It makes a lot of sense, Luke seems to have that effect on everyone.

Most importantly, Ashton knows that she’ll be absolutely _thrilled_ as soon as the engagement has been announced. As a matter of fact, Luke is probably twice as excited to announce the wonderful news, so they easily agree to reveal their new relationship status on this very same day. The only thing to do now is to wait for the perfect moment, then Luke will be eagerly welcomed into the family.

Well, _officially_ welcomed, since he’s basically already an Irwin.

Once they’ve arrived at Anne’s, the door comes open before they’re even given the chance to knock on it, though it’s no surprise. Ashton swears that his mother has super hearing and the ability to detect her grandchildren from miles away, so he only smiles when she spreads her arms and begins the usual procedure of tight hugs and infinite kisses. The little ones show just as much enthusiasm to see her, and even Billie accepts her affection, despite normally becoming so quiet and shy during their visits. His change of behavior is most likely because he knows that Granny Anne will give him plenty of cookies, if he says more than three words to her.

By the time that Anne finishes fussing over how adorable the children are, they’ve probably been standing by the front door for a couple of minutes already. She directs her attention to Ashton and Luke and opens her arms again, that same overjoyed grin still on her face.

“Well come on then, the both of you! I don’t have all day,” she says, pulling them into a tight group hug before they can initiate it themselves. And because Luke has long since gotten used to the abundance of love displayed by the older woman, he’s more than willing to reciprocate despite the lack of air in his lungs. Luckily, Anne releases them a short moment later, though mainly to kiss them both on the cheek. When she pulls back a second time, her smile widens. “ _Oh_ , looks like someone’s had a fantastic Christmas so far. You two are glowing even brighter than the sun itself! What happened then, hm?”

Knowing that something is definitely up, Anne suggestively wiggles her eyebrows and waits for them to spill the beans. Apparently, super hearing isn’t the only power that she has, because she can always tell when something is different about the people in her life. It reminds Ashton of how she managed to figure out when Charlotte was pregnant _both_ times, before even being told. It’s definitely freaky, but as for right now, he chuckles nervously and stalls for an excuse not to reveal the engagement so early on.

“Uh…”

“We got the kids a puppy for Christmas!” Luke blurts out, saving them both. “A two month old golden retriever, actually. So yeah, we’ve been having a blast all day, playing with her and trying to get her used to everyone. I’m sure the kids can’t wait to get home later and play with her again.”

Thankfully, it turns out to be the most perfect distraction because Anne buys it for now. She tells them that they should’ve brought the puppy along for the ride, before the conversation is interrupted when Lauren and Harry finally wander into the foyer to greet them, too. Ashton hugs his younger sister first, because it’s been so long since the last time that he’s seen her. But he’s proud to say that it’s because she’s been so busy with medical school.

“How’ve you been?” he asks her, but then quickly corrects himself with a grin. “I mean, how have you been, Dr. Irwin?”

Lauren rolls her eyes, suddenly appearing a bit bashful. “Surprisingly, I’m actually surviving. But I’m not a doctor yet, Ash.”

“Keyword: _yet_. You’ll get there eventually, though. I know you will, because you’re a genius!”

Ashton repeatedly nudges his sister until she laughs and hugs him again, murmuring about how much she has missed him recently. It’s safe to say that the feeling is mutual, Ashton really misses being able to see his siblings whenever he wanted to. Adulthood is not so simple, however. Ashton has been busy with his own work and raising a family, while Lauren’s schedule revolves around chasing her dream to become a doctor, so it’s understandable.

On the other hand, who even knows what Ashton’s other sibling gets up to these days. There’s a ten year difference between them, and since Ashton married at a young age and moved out rather quickly, he hasn’t really been around for Harry’s teenage years. That’s why it took him by surprise when he heard from his mother that Harry is in a band now and hopes to become big someday. It surprises Ashton even more when his brother bumps his shoulder to get his attention, and Ashton looks away from Lauren to face his baby brother, who looks more and more like a little man every time that Ashton sees him. Yet, the mop of blond curls on his head and the bit of stubble on his chin that won’t seem to grow is what keeps him looking young.

As always, Ashton laughs and pulls his brother into a tight hug. He makes sure to ruffle Harry’s messy hair when he pulls away, though Harry never seems to truly mind it. That’s when Ashton finally takes notice of the blue cast on his brother’s right arm, his eyes widening as he lifts it up with his hand.

“Woah, what happened here and why was I not aware of it before now?” he asks, his protective older brother instincts kicking in.

When all that Harry does is chuckle and scratch the back of his head with the other hand, clearly attempting to come up with an excuse, Anne butts into the conversation to tell the truth for him.

“It’s nothing serious, he’ll be able to get the damn thing off in just a couple of weeks,” she says, hoisting Billie up a little higher on her hip. With a mischievous grin of a mother who loves to tease her children, she says, “But listen to this, he broke it while trying to impress some _girl_ , he tells me.”

“ _Mom_ , that’s not even completely true!” Harry whines. He desperately tries to get her to end the embarrassing story, but fails in doing so.

“She showed up at the hospital, though. Even signed his cast for him, and now they’re going around calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Cute, isn’t it? Destructible, but cute.”

“Aww! That’s adorable,” Ashton coos, just to tease his brother further. After all, he has plenty of years to make up for it. “Have you taken her out yet, then? Get her anything for Christmas? I’d like to meet her, you should’ve invited her for dinner!”

The relentless teasing makes Harry go totally red in the face, and he asks that Ashton kindly fucks off but makes sure to do so quietly enough so that the children won’t hear such language. But even if Harry won’t admit it, Ashton knows just how sappy he can be. He learned everything that he knows from his sappy older brother, after all. That’s why Ashton gives him a knowing smile and wishes him the best of luck with his romantic interest, before allowing Harry to talk to Luke, since he’s obviously dying to.

Just like Anne, Ashton’s siblings have also taken a great liking to Luke, especially Harry. Since there’s only half the age difference between the two of them in comparison to the age difference between Ashton and Harry, it’s always been rather easy for them to get along with each other. Plus, Luke has always been a young spirit, so he’s easily able to understand whatever strange things teenagers are into these days.

But soon enough, Harry will no longer be a teenager anymore, and it makes Ashton feel so old. He cherishes the memories of growing up in a poor neighborhood in South Los Angeles and teaching Harry to ride a bike along those streets. He remembers Harry often following him around and constantly asking to be carried. Now little Harry isn’t so little anymore, he’s doing stupid things to impress girls and playing the drums in his own band. Still, Ashton couldn’t be any prouder of him.

While Harry gushes with Luke over something that only the two of them understand, Anne ushers the children into the family room because she has some Christmas presents for them to open before they all sit down for dinner time. Ashton starts to join the others alongside Lauren, who grabs him by the arm as soon as they turn the corner and begins ecstatically gesturing with her hands. Ashton proceeds to stare at her for several seconds, utterly lost, before she sighs and decides to whisper instead.

“Luke,” she says in a harsh whisper, then uses her index finger on her right hand to circle her ring finger on the left hand. “Ring?”

 _Oh._ Well, it certainly doesn’t take a genius to figure out what she’s referring to now. But since Lauren _is_ a genius, combined with the fact that Luke’s engagement ring is quite vast in size and anyone would notice it if they just took a brief moment to observe, she gets her answer before Ashton can even confirm anything.

“Shhh!” he shushes her, once it looks as if she’s about to react in a way that would spoil the surprise. With wide eyes and a permanent smile, she proceeds to squeal with her mouth closed to conceal most of the sound. Despite the fact that it’s really cute, Ashton gives her a _look_ and mutters a warning, “Don’t. Say. A _word_.”

Lauren makes the gesture that symbolizes her lips are sealed and she’s throwing the key away, then she claps her hands together and saunters into the room to join their mother and the children. Ashton can only sigh and shake his head, wondering how his mother and sister can be so perceptive. Nonetheless, everything should go according to plan as long as they don’t say anything or ask any further questions. But either way, Ashton knows that they’ll be just as happy for him and Luke.

For the most part, things really do go according to plan. The children, of course, are very happy with the gifts given to them from their grandmother, their Auntie Lauren, and their Uncle Harry. However, no one is more thrilled than Anne is when Ashton and Luke surprise her with a brand new Louis Vuitton handbag, and then their faces are attacked with many kisses for the second time this evening. They even give her a round of applause when she proceeds to model the handbag, laughing as she struts around the room with it hanging off her shoulder. If there’s one thing that never fails to make Ashton happy, it’s knowing that he can finally give back to his mother like this.

It isn’t long before the others show up for dinner, such as Ashton’s favorite uncle, his wife and their two children. They also bring Ashton’s grandfather along, Anne’s father, who unfortunately suffers from Alzheimer’s disease; but if there’s one face that he’ll never forget, it’s Ashton’s. Although no one is counting, he probably hugs Ashton for a total of five minutes with the widest grin on his aged face, unwilling to let go until he decides that he wants to spend time with his great-grandchildren, too.

The last person to show up is some guy named Roy, who Anne has apparently started dating recently, much to the surprise of everyone else. But even though he arrives on a motorcycle and looks intimidating with his lumberjack beard and huge feet, he turns out to be a really nice guy and spends most of the evening entertaining all of the children with his astonishing impression of Mickey Mouse. It hardly takes long at all for Ashton to decide that he likes the man who is lucky enough to date his mother, and if things work out for the two of them and Roy eventually joins the Irwin family, then no one else is complaining.

At last, the special announcement takes place near the end of dinner. Ashton figures that it’s about time to spill the beans, since he’s had to deal with Lauren’s expectant staring all throughout their meal and his mother’s curious glances, sensing that something is still off about her son. Lucky for her, she doesn’t have to wait much longer to be told the truth.

Once it looks as if everyone is nearly finished eating their slices of delicious homemade lemon meringue pie, Ashton rests his hand on Luke’s thigh beneath the table, which they’ve already established as their “signal” for the announcement. He waits until Luke places a hand on top of his, and when Ashton turns his head to look at his fiancé for confirmation, he finds the purest smile on Luke’s face and a twinkle in his eyes. He’s obviously more than ready to do this, so Ashton nods once and clears his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“I’d like to make an announcement,” he says after standing up from his chair.

But now that all eyes are on him, Ashton suddenly feels almost as much nervousness as he had when first waking up this morning with the intentions of proposing. It’s just so important to him that his family approves of their decision, and after dealing with so much backlash from Charlotte’s parents, he’s not sure if he can take rejection a second time. Of course, he knows that things are different this time because his family _adores_ Luke, but still.

Ashton clears his throat a second time before continuing.

“Um, so as most of you are already aware of, Luke and I have been… together for the past three years already—well, I mean, technically we’ve been _together_ for two and a half years, but I was blessed with meeting this man nearly three years ago when he first arrived to be the new nanny for my children.”

Ashton takes a short moment to pause and glance down at Luke for further encouragement, and when he finds the other many staring up at him with so much _love_ in those beautiful eyes, it’s enough to make him feel like he can conquer the universe if he wanted to. They could conquer the universe together, if they so desired.

“Well, I can honestly say that they’ve been some of the best years of my life so far, and that’s why it brings me great joy to announce—”

“We’re engaged!” Luke reveals before Ashton can say the words himself, because apparently he can’t wait another second. That’s why Ashton can only find it in himself to giggle, allowing all of the nervousness and the ridiculous fears to seep from his body.

“Yeah. What he said.”

All at once, everyone else seems to get over their shock and the room fills with applause. Even Lauren and the children appear just as excited as the first time that they became aware to the great news, or perhaps they’re even more excited this time around, finally being able to share their happiness with a room full of others. It comes as no surprise when everyone begins fussing over them at the same time, asking how long they’ve been engaged and when the wedding will be and if they can see the engagement ring, which Luke proudly displays to everyone at the table.

However, Anne is the only one who takes action, hopping up from her seat to pull Ashton into another bone crushing hug. The only difference between now and before is that this time she’s crying tears of joy, and it’s almost enough to make Ashton cry, too. He manages to contain himself, though, and allows himself to laugh instead as he comfortably rubs his mother’s back.

“If I knew that you’d be this upset, I would’ve waited to break the news while you were drunk on New Year’s Eve,” he jokes.

Eventually, Anne pulls back and swats him on the arm for the teasing, and Ashton pretends that it hurts just as much as it had when he was a lot younger and foolish enough to test his mother’s patience.

“Shush, you. Can’t I be happy that my eldest son is getting married?” she says, wiping the tears from her face and smiling. “I just want you to know that I’m really, really proud of you… Ash, four years ago I worried that you might never be able to forgive yourself and move on with your life. But you have, and you’ve done so much more in so little time, and now you’re getting married again and I just—I almost can’t believe it!”

As more tears begin to fall, Anne pulls him into another hug that Ashton gladly accepts. This time she’s the one who rubs _his_ back, because even if Ashton isn’t crying on the outside, she knows just how much he needs this. Anne always knows what Ashton needs and when he needs it; she’s his mother, after all, and no one knows him as well as she always has.

“Thanks, mom. For everything,” he mutters with his face pressed to her shoulder. The amount of relief and happiness that he’s feeling right now is almost overwhelming, but he wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world.

Once they’ve had their tender moment between mother and son, Anne turns her attention to Luke and demands a hug from him, too. Luke complies without a moment’s hesitance, and it’s now that Ashton can see his fiancé is somewhat crying, too. It brings a smile to Ashton’s face that will probably never leave, because they’re such a couple of emotional saps. Maybe that’s just one of the millions of reasons as to why he and Luke are perfect for each other. They’ll never complain or get annoyed when the other cries.

“I hope you know that you’ve been like a third son to me from the very beginning,” Anne tells Luke, smiling through her tears just like he is right now. “Welcome to the family, Luke!”

Anne stands on her toes to kiss Luke on the forehead, and then she kisses both of his cheeks for good measure, making him laugh.

The rest of the family eagerly joins in on the affection, giving both Ashton and Luke plenty of hugs and pats on the backs. Even the enthusiastic congratulations that they receive from Roy makes Ashton grin from ear to ear, despite having just met the guy a few hours ago. But he can’t help himself, there’s not a damn thing that can ruin this moment for them. Keeping that in mind, Ashton takes Luke by the hand and raises it to his lips to give it a kiss, silently promising that he’ll never let go.

No matter what may happen from this point on, they’re in this together until the very end.

***

The mattress creaks as Ashton flops onto his back, still attempting to catch his breath after the intense fun that they’ve just had. Only seconds pass before Luke is curling into his side and resting on his chest as usual, and it’s automatic when Ashton places a hand in Luke’s mussed hair to idly play with the soft strands. They’ve done something a little different this time around, and despite his exhaustion, he honestly can’t wait to do it again.

“Holy shit,” Ashton mutters, and then his goofy laughter fills the silent room. “Okay, that was really fucking intense. Remind me to thank our lovely friends soon with another expensive gift card to somewhere nice.”

“Merry fucking Christmas to us,” says Luke, who sounds twice as fucked out as Ashton does. But it makes sense, he’s the one who wore the cock ring that Michael and Calum gifted them with earlier this morning. “God, I haven’t come that hard since… sometime last week, I think?”

The honesty in that statement makes Ashton snort. So what, the two of them happen to have sex quite often. No big deal. If anything, it’s the greatest form of a stress reliever that Ashton has ever discovered, and he knows this because he has tried tons of things, okay.

Therefore, he replies cheekily, “I’ll take that as a compliment, then.”

Luke doesn’t say anything for a short while, making Ashton believe that he has fallen asleep already. No surprise there, Luke always gets incredibly sleepy after sex, which is ironic, because most of the time he insists on going another round or two anyway. Keeping him sexually satisfied is an exhausting task that Ashton wouldn’t trade for anything, despite having his own abilities frequently tested. But Ashton is a thirty year old man, not a sixty year old, so he never turns down a challenge where his dick is concerned.

“Does sex change after marriage?” Luke asks suddenly, revealing that he isn’t actually asleep just yet. “Because I don’t want it to stop being as amazing as it already is.”

Ashton hums and cards his fingers through Luke’s hair as he thinks of a response to that question, but he can’t say that he knows for sure. What he does know is that it all depends on the couple involved, because everyone is different, no two couples are exactly the same. Thus, he shrugs.

“Well, I imagine that if someone were to accidentally get their wedding ring stuck up their partner’s ass while fingering them, then things certainly will change and not for the better.”

His little joke instantly causes Luke to crack up, the other man pressing his face to Ashton’s chest as he laughs. Ashton begins to laugh as well, as he supposes that as long as he still has the ability to make Luke laugh like this for the rest of their lives together, then there shouldn’t be any reason to worry about anything else.

“Ashton.”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Do you really want to marry me?”

Honestly, Ashton isn’t sure what’s more ridiculous, the question itself or the fact that he knows Luke is serious. Because he sounds as if he can’t believe that any of this is real, that he’s actually going to marry the first man that he has ever truly loved. However, Ashton knows just how he feels. He finds it hard to believe that he’s actually getting married again, to someone that he coincidentally stumbled across on a website. He’s beginning to believe that they really are soulmates.

Maybe it’s a silly concept, but it’s also one that makes Ashton feel all warm and fuzzy inside. So, he giggles again.

“Of course I want to marry you. I wouldn’t have proposed this morning if I didn’t.”

“Okay,” Luke replies, giggling as well because he’s just so _chirpy_ today. “Just checking.”

Only about thirty seconds pass by before Luke speaks up again.

“Ashton.”

“Yes, baby?”

“We’re getting married,” he says matter-of-factly, and then he gasps in the most adorable way. “Oh my god, we’re getting _married_. Like, that’s a real thing that’s going to happen. Holy fuck, Ashton, we have so much planning to do! Where do you think that we should hold the wedding? Will we have two best mans? Best _men_? Wait! I haven’t even thought of a color scheme yet, and oh goodness, imagine how adorable the children will look! The girls in their pretty little dress and Billie—he can be the ring bearer, right? I can’t wait to pick out a wedding cake, there’s so many flavors to choose from and we’ll have to taste them all, and…”

Ashton listens as Luke, the love of his life and his fiancé, goes on and on about the details of their future wedding until he finally falls asleep. Luke’s excitement is what gives Ashton strength but also serenity, because there’s no doubt in his mind that this is going to work out for the best. Change is inevitable, but he has faith that the changes ahead of them will be good changes that’ll help them grow as people and as a married couple.

Because just like Luke has always believed in Ashton, Ashton has always believed that they can get through anything.

They can, and they will.

Together.

* * *

 


End file.
